Who I seem to be, who I am, who I will become
by Juniko
Summary: Fiction on (very)long hiatus : COMING BACK on May 2013 (this time it's for real ) ! See you soon!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Eight o'clock, of course.**

In his way back, Masumi repressed a sigh. Once again, he didn't manage to tell Maya the truth. Well, maybe it wasn't so bad after all. She hated him. He had been fooled by appearances, which was, according to him, quite extraordinary. He thought they were getting along, time passing. He thought that if he managed to wait until she grown up, maybe…

But he was wrong. She wouldn't ever forgive him. The end of their evening together showed it well. He could clearly remember her furious glare when she said, almost in tears:

"_If Tsukikage Sensei ends up like my mother, I will never forgive you for the rest of my life!" _

Every single beginning of sympathy she ever had of him had vanished in that one little second.

Why? Why did he have to make her angry each time she started to like him? Masumi pushed the bake pedal firmly and parked his car on the side of the road. He lighted on a cigarette and breathed the smoke out in a sigh.

"I can only watch her from the shadow eternally." He said with a low voice.

He opened the glove compartment and took the picture that was in there. A beautiful woman smiled shyly to him…

Masumi suddenly felt a dreadful ache in his chest. Maybe he had no other choice. Maybe all those years were nothing but an illusion, a bittersweet dream…

*****

"_If you promise that after the play you'll spend some time with, I'll let go of your hand"_

_Hayami-san…sometime I don't get you…_

"_Agree…please"_

_It's like there were two different persons inside you…Generally, you are cold and even cruel sometime…but then…you were…_

"_I enjoyed the time I spend with you today…Thank you."_

_I don't know. I'm lost._

"Maya, the tea is…Hey, Maya!" Rei said.

The girl jumped when she heard her name. In the living room, Sayaka and Rei were staring at her in an odd way.

"W-What?" she stammered.

"Your tea, it's spilling over"

Maya looked down and saw that her cup of tea had actually turned into a fountain, the tea pool widening on the table and threatening several scripts dotted there. The teapot was still in her hand.

It took at least tree entire seconds to Maya to react. First, screaming. Then putting the teapot down, and looking for something to mop the liquid up. She looked so lost and confused that Rei and Sayaka helped her. At least, Sayaka saved the scripts…

"Maya," Rei asked, "are you alright?"

"Yes," She answered with a high-pitched voice, "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be alright?"

"_I've never brought anyone here before you"_

"I don't know…since the other day when you came back from this play you're behaving strangely…"

"I am?"

Sayaka nodded.

"Well…" Rei reminded her, "Two days ago you might have been killed by that car if I hadn't caught you at the last second; yesterday you let fell down the laundry that was drying up on the window; today noontime you let the noodles burn; you almost killed your cat with the tea just ten minutes ago; and now that…"

"I'm sorry" Maya apologized, ashamed.

"By the way," Sayaka exclaimed "you didn't tell us who that mysterious person who invited you to that play was!"

"Oh, that…I-I don't know, he-he didn't came. » Maya suddenly blushed. She didn't know why, but she didn't want them to know that Masumi Hayami sent the invitation.

And insisted to spend the whole day with her…

She winced. Remembering how he grabbed her hand, forcing her to sit beside him…but a part of her was grateful. If she had run away, as she first decided to, she would never have seen Hayami-san like that. Kind. Warm. And kind of…lonely?

And still, his palm was so warm…she could still feel it on the back her left hand, tingling painlessly, as if his touch was printed deep in her flesh.

Yet, she has to be careful. What he did to her mother…she couldn't forget it. He said it was for her sake, but still…And now Tsukikage-Sensei left. She felt like she was left behind. Again.

What wouldn't she give to be able to finally meet Mr Purple Rose! To talk to him, tell him everything she think, or feel! She knew that he would understand her. He would help her find her next part. His advice would definitely be the greatest.

Well, she should see the bright side. Rei and Sayaka were right beside her, so she would be wrong to think she was all alone. Rei was much more grown up than her; she would help her to make the good choice.

It's Sayaka who pull her out of her reverie:

"I bet it's your famous fan!" She exclaimed. "The one who's always sending you those roses"

"But there was no rose with the card." Rei pointed out. "So it can't be him, right Maya?"

"Y-Yes! Of course it can't be him!"

The fact that Hayami-san's behaviour was alike to Mr Purple Rose's was even more disturbing.

"Of course it can't be him…" she repeated to herself.

She turned away to stare out the window. Rei and Sayaka exchanged a glance.

*****

"Please, stop. It's already decided. Yes. It's the only way. Well, so it's the **best** way, if you prefer. Listen, stop, okay! Don't you think I know that? Just do it. Please, you're the only one I can entrust that. Eight o'clock, _of course_. Yes, absolutely. Thank you."

Masumi hanged up the phone and sighed. He took a look at his watch. 17h30. He leaned back to the wall and closed his eyes. It was done. Things wouldn't ever be the same. Many things were about to happen, but only one mattered to him: _**How would Maya react?**_

The secretary came into the waiting room, interrupting his thoughts.

"Hayami-san? The meeting is over now; you may talk to your father"

She opened the office door and let him in. In the armchair, his father looked at him right in the eyes, waiting.

"I thought you put me at the head of this company, and still there are meetings I'm not invited in?"

"No, that wasn't about the company, Masumi" Eisuke answered. "But, speaking of meeting…"

"Actually, father," Masumi interrupted him. "That's why I came. I made a decision. I will attend the arranged marriage meeting."

*****

"Hey, Maya! Guess what you've just been given!"

Maya tore herself away from the reading of Hamlet – one of the many scripts she had to read to decide which part she would choose – and ran toward the front door.

"Purple roses!" She exclaimed, delighted.

"And," Rei went on, as glad as Maya, "there is a letter!"

She took the envelop, opened it and began to read out loud.

_Maya-sama,_

_I would be honoured to share a diner with you tonight. What to you think of the BURM restaurant? Is eight o'clock alright to you?_

_From your fan._

For a second, Maya's heart stopped beating, then restart at a gallop.

*****

In the subdued ambience of his living room at twilight; sat in his favourite armchair; Masumi looked up to the old clock with roman numerals. Seven hours and fifty minutes.

*****

The table was well too large for just one person, and the empty seat in front of her scared eyes seemed to have a life of its own. Soon, really soon, there would be Mr Purple Rose, sat right there. He would smile to her. What would be his smile like? What about the sound of his voice?

_Would he like me? _

Maya already felt that sensation. The last time Mr Purple Rose invited her to diner, it was exactly the same. It was exactly the same restaurant, the same atmosphere, the same table – the best in the whole restaurant – and even the same seat. She could clearly remember, wearing the very same dress, anxiously waiting for Mr Purple Rose.

As well as she could remember how he didn't show up then.

So, this time, another kind of fear blended with the simple nervousness.

_What if he didn't come? _

She hadn't ended that thought that she already heard someone walking toward her table.

Her heart's beatings were so loud that she wouldn't be surprised if someone around her heard it. She focused on her hands pulled into fists on her knees. She remember how she jumped out of her seat to greet who she thought was Mr Purple Rose the other time. She had been so surprise when she saw Hayami Masumi before her! For a moment she thought that Hayami-san could even be…

The back of her left hand started to tingle again.

What was she doing? This wasn't the moment to think about Masumi Hayami! Mr Purple Rose, her greatest fan ever, the man she have always been so anxious to meet, was maybe right beside her, only she wasn't brave enough to look up at him!

_Come on, Maya Kitajima, you know you can do it!_

Slowly, carefully, she raised her head and looked up at the person that was reaching his seat.

Her eyes widened with shock.

*****

Hino, one of the maids, was bringing a glass of red vine to Masumi, as often at eight o'clock. But when she opened the door of the living room, the silver tray slipped out of her hands.

Masumi Hayami, his back leaned against his armchair's back, his hand covering his eyes. His face was half-hidden, yet you could see something glisten, like a liquid crystal running along his cheek.

The old woman was there long enough to know one thing for sure: since his mother died, Hayami Masumi had never cried.

*****

"Are you surprised to see me here?" Mr Purple Rose asked.

"Hijiri-san!" Maya gasped.

Hijiri Karato grinned widely at her and sat before her.

"Yes. I am Mr Purple Rose."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Are you planning to blindfold her, like the other time?**

_Two days ago _

It was past midnight in the huge sitting room of the Hayami's manor, and yet Masumi was still up, gazing at the flames that were licking the hearth's wall, blackening its stones. Maybe he would buy a new fireplace, a one made in glass, more modern…

As soon as he had got back in his house, he had called Hijiri. He had asked him to come as soon as possible. Hijiri had agreed. Since then, Masumi has been waiting, gazing at the fire.

He would regret it. But his feelings didn't matter. Maya deserved happiness.

_Happiness…_Did he even know what this was? Would he, someday?

He sighed.

Of course, without Maya in his life, there was no point considering happiness.

"Masumi-sama, Hijiri-san is here."

"Let him come in."

*

"I have to admit, I was a bit worried when I've got your phone call." Hijiri said, "What on earth is so urgent that it can't even wait until dawn?"

"I've made a decision, Hijiri." Masumi answered under his breath, his eyes still focused on the fire. He put an arm on the mantelpiece. "And I wanted to spell it out before I could change my mind"

His tone wasn't comforting at all. Something wasn't going well. Hijiri remained silent, waiting for Masumi to go on. A minute went by. Finally, Masumi went on, without looking at his friend.

"There is a file on my desk. It's a picture, open it."

It wasn't a file, actually. More like a large white card relieved with golden lace. Intrigued, Hijiri took it.

"She sure is pretty," Hijiri admit while raising an eyebrow. "Who is she?"

"Takamiya Shiori. She is also the granddaughter of the Chairman of Takamiya Group. I'm going to marry her. After all she is…"

"Is that your idea of humour?" Hijiri interrupted him.

"It's not a joke Hijiri," Masumi sighed, "believe me."

"How could I? You just told me you were going to marry a rich heiress. _Come on_, with all my respect it's just not like you!"

Masumi didn't respond. Another minute passed silently. Karato's eyes widened.

"May I ask what Mr Purple Rose think of this…"he glanced at the photo "…project?"

"He agree" Masumi reply coldly.

"He ag…" Hijiri interrupted himself, dismayed. This was _utterly_ absurd. He took a deep breath and tried to pull himself together. "What about Maya-sama?" He _must_ have taken her feelings into account. "Don't tell me you're going to keep on sending her roses while being married!"

"OF COURSE I'M NOT!!!" Masumi yelled suddenly. "Of course I'm not."

He sighed and finally looked his friend in the eyes. The pain in his features was so intense that Hijiri lost all severity. They gazed back at him, bewildered.

"So…what are you planning to do, Masumi-sama?"

Masumi sighed. He turned round; his wide green eyes back to the fire. He couldn't say it out loud in front of him, see his reaction. There would be anger, disgust, or maybe sadness and pity. He would be easier not to directly look at him. He leaned his forehead against his wrist, on the mantelpiece, and took a deep breath.

"This girl hates me. She _truly_ hates me. She will never forgive me for the things I've done in the past. I'm the man who killed her mother!" Masumi felt an ache in his chest, but he didn't pay any attention to it. He knew that this crime would haunt him for the rest of his life. He already accepted it. It was the less he could do. "But she wants to meet Mr Purple Rose. It's been years that she is patiently waiting for him. She…kind of _misses_ him. I thought that after some time those…feelings toward me – well, toward Mr Purple Rose – would weaken. But it seems to be quite the contrary! Sooner or later she is going to suffer because of my, of _his_ absence. I don't want this to happen. Ever. I've made her suffer way too much, so I don't want Mr Purple Rose to become a cause of pain too." Well, now he had to tell it. He had to. "So, I decided it was time for her to meet him."

Masumi heard a gasp. What did that mean? Surprise? Horror?

"That's…a great news, Masumi-sama…"

"_It can't be me, Hijiri!!!_" Masumi exclaimed.

It was almost a groan.

"I can't be...I can't be him, Hijiri! Mr Purple Rose. I can't, it would kill her!"

Hijiri studied carefully his friend's last sentences, tried to discover their hidden meanings, but he ended up completely lost and puzzled. He decided to marry someone he barely knew, and in the mean time he wanted Maya to know the truth. Nevertheless, he didn't want Maya to know it was him. This didn't make any sense. Unless…

"Are you panning to blindfold her, like the other time?"

"No, and I told you, the other time she blindfold HERSELF!"

"Right" Hijiri said with a slight smile. But his question remained unanswered "So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going…to let her go." He signed.

"Beg your pardon?"

"I decided to…" Masumi went on, choosing carefully his words. "...to entrust the role of Mr Purple Rose to someone else. Someone who could be with her. By her side…" He added to himself.

Those words pierced Masumi like a white-hot made blade.

Hijiri held back a gasp.

"Are you serious?"

Masumi nodded.

"B-But, you can't do something like that! Maya is not a toy, she is a person, and she trusts you!"

"You're wrong, she hates me. The one she trusts…it's not me."

"It IS you!" Hijiri exclaimed, loosing his temper. "Mr Purple Rose is a part of who you are, you just can't ask anyone to….anyway who on earth is this person you trust _so_ much that you can even entrust him the one you're in love with ?"

Masumi turned round, facing him. Hijiri recoiled.

"No…"

"Hijiri, it's…" Masumi groaned

"You cannot ask me that!" Hijiri cried out loud.

"Hijiri!"

"NO!"

"You're the one who wanted to be the bridge between me and her!"

"Yes," He admitted. "I wanted to be a bridge, so she could communicate with you! Not to be YOU!"

"Hijiri," Masumi pleaded "I'm begging you…"

But Hijiri was already heading for the front door. He was grabbing the door handle when he suddenly turned his head toward Masumi.

"It's a 'no', Hayami-sama. I'm sorry, I can't do that."

And then he left, slapping the door behind him.

*

It was about noon when knocks gave on his front door woke him up. The sun was heating his face, a feeling he would have normally welcomed with pleasure. After his fight with his friend, he had trouble to fall asleep and ended up oversleeping until twelve o'clock. Even awake, he kept his eyes closed and covered his face with his forearm. That way he could keep the last vanishing picture of his dream a little longer.

Maya, with her genuine smile lightening her face, her eyes full of thanks. No wonder, no question, just…happiness.

Only that that wasn't Masumi-sama she was looking that way, as she should. She was looking at him: Hijiri Karato. The feeling of betrayal almost made him sick.

More knocks. He opened his eyes.

His living room was flooded by the warm sunlight. Oh, that was right; he ended up on his sofa. The best way ever of having a stiff neck, by the way.

Knocks. Again. He got reach the door.

Two guy suited up were facing him. One of them, the smallest, held a sheet – witch looked coldly official – out to him. No greeting.

Hijiri took it, intrigued, and take a glance at it. The title told him the colour of the whole thing. "Eviction order." Still, he asked.

"What does that mean?"

"You hadn't been warned?"

Hijiri nodded.

"Well, you have the afternoon to vacate the premises."

"You mean, getting out of my apartment?" This wasn't making any sense.

"This place is not yours anymore."

"Wh...! Since when?"

He didn't get his answer. The man in black went on. "The owner will come check the place out at eight o'clock this afternoon. You should hurry."

"What? But this is insane!"

"Sign here please." The tallest pointed out a blank at the foot of the page.

"What? No ! There is no way I would sign that; I told you it's insane!"

"Look, it's just being polite."

"Being po…"

"Everything is settled already, so it won't stop or lower anything if you don't sign."

"But, wait, you can not make me leave just like that, it's…"

"Sorry, we are just messengers…"

"But I always paid my bills, I don't have any…anyway you just can't do that!"

"Well, with my entire respect sir, it seems like we actually do. You have until this evening. Have a good day."

Then they left.

"Have a good day…" he repeated to himself, flabbergasted.

_What just happened? Some kind of storm?_

*****

"What do you mean, "You did that""? Hijiri yelled.

In his armchair, behind the desk of his office, Masumi stared at his friend with an incredible calm. It was almost cold.

"Could you _please_ stop panicking?" he asked.

"You expelled me from my own apartment! How am I supposed to react?"

"At least, don't panic, it's annoying."

Cold. Really cold.

"And by the way," Masumi went on "you already have a new one. Apartment."

He slid a piece of paper over the desk. There was an address on it. Apparently, his new apartment was the middle of Tokyo, in an area where the most tiny place was really, really expensive. This must have been a joke.

"Don't worry about your things, I sent several people to take care of it."

"You did WHAT?" Hijiri exclaimed. It seemed like he may snap at any minute. Masumi better have a worthy explanation.

"And my vacation house is also yours from now."

Hijiri was about to say some biting line when he suddenly understood how everything was making sense. He recoiled and glared at his friend.

"Hayami-sama…you know I can't do that."

"You have to. It's an order."

"You can't order me to seduce Maya-sama."

Because that would be seduction. There was no other word to describe that. And he couldn't betray his friend that way. It would make him sick. Masumi deserved better. So was Maya. He couldn't.

As expected, his words broke the cold mask wore by Masumi. Pain was obvious in his eyes now. To hide his expression, he turned his back at him and stared out the window. Hijiri heard a sigh.

"Please take care of her."

Hijiri's eyes widened with shock. He knew. He was aware that giving him the part of Mr Purple Rose put him in Maya's life almost as a boyfriend. Someday, Maya would fall for him. His best friend was actually giving him his first and only love. He entrust her to him. Not only the part of Mr Purple Rose, but also _her_.

"Do you think it's okay if she ends up falling in love with me?" Hijiri yelled.

No answer. But he wasn't going to give up that easily. He had to make him say it out loud.

"Do you?!" He insisted.

Masumi turned his head, facing him.

"Yes, I do."

The two men glared at each other during a minute. With horror, Hijiri understood that his friend was honest.

"I haven't said yes, yet."

"Yet."

Hijiri didn't respond. Masumi looked through the window again and after a moment, he put his fingertips on the thick glass. On the street, Maya and one of her friends – Sayaka? – were wandering with an ice-cream in the hands. She looked so cheerful.

"Think about it, ok?" he whispered. "And go see your new apartment. Everything you have to know about your new identity is there."

"My new id…" Hijiri didn't get the time to react.

"New name, new past, new job – you do have a great level in English, Korean and Chinese, right? – New passport, new bank account, etc. Maya would be curious about you, so I made things easier by getting you things to tell her."

His voice broke when he pronounced her name.

*

What Masumi forgot to tell him, was that the very apartment was on the top of a huge tower, with a wide picture window, taking the full floor, with a flight of glass steps heading to the terrace roof that was a true garden with purple roses everywhere and the most beautiful view of Tokyo ever.

When Hijiri turned the key in the lock, his eyes were first be dazzled by the sunlight flooding the room. He saw an incredibly modern loft. The place was wide open, with practically no doors, but rather some folding screen or some piece of walls here and there separating the different rooms. The entire floor was covered with parquet, even in the bathroom. Still, the loft was somehow warm and cosy, thanks to may little things like warm coloured rugs and beside lamps. There were also many flowers in vases, mostly purple roses but not only, and a piano near the sofa and armchairs. For a moment, he felt uneasy. Clearly, this place was meant to welcome Maya someday.

Hijiri saw his stuff gathered in a corner, but he didn't pay attention to it. He saw a set of shelves full of CD, with even some vinyl records. He reached the library. There were many books, mostly about theatre like plays or history of theatre all over word. He noticed that every plays Maya played were gathered on one specific shelf. He also saw the album of her from high school. A gift Maya gave to Masumi. On one of the few walls, he saw her graduation diploma framed and his heart ached. The feeling of betrayal was barely bearable.

So, Masumi was able to go this far…Maybe he had no other choice…

On a table, there was a list of instructions.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three: Every little detail mattered**

When he entered into the restaurant, he realized that he still had the choice. He could sit before the girl and tell her Mr Purple Rose wasn't coming. And after that he would tell her that Hayami Masumi was actually the real Purple Rose. He started picturing her face, when he would tell her so.

Then he realised that he had no idea which news would break her heart the most. In that moment he finally understood why his friend had gone so far: in order not to have to choose the way of breaking his love's heart, but rather to make her happy. He wasn't ready to take that risk.

It was going to be tough. And painful, like _really_ painful. But if he managed to keep playing his part, Maya would never be unhappy anymore. He just had to sit down there, tell her the so-called truth, take care of her for a few months, and then she would be able to open her heart to someone else. And he would become her best friend, then a very good friend, then just a good friend, then an old friend, and eventually, a endeared part of her past. He could endure it. That was why he sat on the chair, facing her, smiling, agonizing, and named himself Purple Rose. Now he had no other choice but to stick to the plan. Every little detail mattered.

She couldn't believe it! Hijiri Karato, that person she met for the first time a year and a half ago, that person to whom she spoke so freely about her affection toward her fan, was actually Mr Purple Rose. It was him, how weird, how incredible, and how unbelievable. It was him. From the beginning, and all the time.

When he came to support her at the audition for the part of Aldis, pretending to be a journalist, it was him. When she was blinded, in that house and then when Mr Purple Rose held her so tight in his arms, it was him. When she wanted to go to high school but couldn't afford it, it was him, who paid her tuition. Hijiri Karato was the first person, apart of Tsukikage Sensei, who ever believed in her.

And here he was, just in front of her, for the hundredth time. Only this time, everything was different. Tonight he was Mr Purple Rose. And when she realised that, she felt herself overwhelmed by the most terrific feeling she ever felt. She busted out laughing.

"What a relief!" She exclaimed.

"What?" Hijiri asked, half-panicked. "What do you mean?"

Fearless, Maya, while keeping laughing, grabbed Hijiri's hands and looked straight in his eyes. Frozen and seriously worried, the young man waited for her answer.

"For a second," Maya explained, "I though you were here to tell me my dear fan wasn't coming after all, like…you know…the other time." She became a bit less cheerful when she said that, but then she went on, laughing again. "But I was wrong! You're here because it's you! Mr Purple Rose. It is YOU!"

Hijiri couldn't move at all. Her eyes, sparkling like diamonds, were breaking through his being as if they wanted him to fully understand something. In that special case, it was how amazing, entertaining and incredible the so-called fact that he was her biggest fan was. That hypnotic and awed gaze made him see what was so special about his girl. She couldn't possibly know it, but those eyes had a huge power to people. It even made him want to laugh with her.

Suddenly, she became aware of were her hands were, and quickly pulled them back. When he realised she was blushing, he coughed on purpose, trying to be casual, and looked away.

Awkward.

"But, there is something I don't understand at all. " Maya went on, "Why now? Why didn't you tell me before?"

There we are; Hijiri thought. Showtime. Of course, he remembered all his lines.

"I didn't want to break the bond between us by doing this. I was afraid."

His closed his eyes to hide his expression. She had not to see how disgusted of himself he was, it would ruin everything. He pulled himself together and put the mask on his face again. He looked up and saw her gaze. Her wide brown eyes were bewildered.

"Afraid?" She repeated, puzzled. "Of what? Me?"

If he hadn't been agonizing, he would definitely have laughed. Her expression was just too funny.

_Am I frightening?_ Maya asked to herself. It sure would be an explanation, but, it would also be really surprising. How could _she_ ever scare anyone? Had she done something or said something wrong? She was still thinking about it when Hijiri interrupted her.

"I know you hate Hayami Masumi" He said. Somehow, hearing his name made her shudder. "And since I'm working for him I thought you might…"

"Oh."

It was the best answer she found. She had been distracted by the warm feeling of her hand, tickling again.

"Is there a problem?"

Maya jumped, suddenly coming back to reality. Hijiri looked at her in a funny way. Embarrassed, she shook her head and said "No, nothing."

_What was that look?_ Hijiri thought. _There, in her eyes, when I spoke about Masumi-sama_? A shiver of horror ran along his back. What if all this trick, all this play, was based on a mistake? What if Maya didn't hate his friend anymore? What if…

But it was already too late, wasn't it?

"So, "Maya said, "Hijiri-san…"

"Actually," He interrupted her "my name is not Hijiri Karato."

Maya, taken aback, widen her eyes.

"My real name is Kirino Takumi." He lied, looking straight in her eyes.

She seemed even more stunned, her lips repeating his pseudonym silently.

"Like I said," He went on with a trustful smile, "I was afraid. It made me do stupid things. I'm sorry."

But she shook her head and said very nicely with a great grin lightning her face "There is no need to apologize, it okay…Kirino-san!" She added after a hesitation.

_Are you happy right now? _

That question took hold of his mind. During all the months he was delivering messages to her from his best and only friend, he had all the time to know her personality. Every single thing he was saying or giving to her from Mr Puple Rose was taken as heaven gifts. There was nothing easier to make Kitajima Maya happy. And then, seeing her happy was certainly one of the few truly amazing things he had ever seen. Unless right now, he didn't deserve that view. Masumi-sama should be the one who could enjoy that diner, and see those eyes, wide open, delighted and still full of questions.

"I'm so glad I can finally meet you, Mr Purple Rose, Kirino-san!" She said cheerfully.

Hijiri answered by a painful smile.

For a minute, they kept staring at each other. In order not to let the silence become awkward, Hijiri restarted the conversation.

"So, Maya-sama did you…"

"Call me just 'Maya', please." She said quickly.

Hijiri smile gratefully and nodded. But Maya didn't let finish his question.

"And it's unfair!' She said. "You know me since I'm thirteen, you know everything about me!" He wasn't sure of that. "But me, I know nothing about you! "

Well, he wasn't surprised. Masumi warned him she was going to be curious about him. So he was going to ask her what she would like to know and she would say…

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything!"

He guessed right! Hijiri chuckled.

So, again, it was time to spell his lines. He held back a sigh.

During the rest of the diner, Hijiri told her all about his fake life. How his parents died when he was only fourteen years old: car crash. How he lived with his grandmother until her death when he was about twenty, leaving to him the huge fortune from of the whole family. How he used it to pay his apartment and his study in a great College in Tokyo. He told her everything about his travels in France, in USA and China, telling her some fake anecdotes about those places. He also told her how, during his youth, he wanted to be an actor, but wasn't really gifted so gave up after a couple of years. And he told her how at twenty-three years old he get hired as a translator for the Daito Company; working a lot for Hayami Masumi himself for everything concerning the international business. Sometime he also had to come to see some movies and play to write commentaries and critics for the company. He was working for the company for about a year when he came to see Little Women. By telling all that details he was letting Maya understand that he was twelve years older than her, which was the only thing in the whole story that was true.

At first, it wasn't easy for Hijiri to stick to this part, because Maya was always asking for more details, and sometimes Masumi's instructions weren't enough, so he had to create some part of his role. But, hours passing, he realized that he actually was growing pretty good at this game. He also understood that he could go on like that for weeks or month if he wanted. After all, Maya trusted him; she would never question his word.

He was disgusting.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Phone calls.**

"_Here. Take that, it's for you."_

"_That? Oh no, I can't accept it's too much, I don't need it!"_

"_Humor__ me." He insisted with a dreadfully awesome smile that made her forget to breathe for a moment. "And that way you can talk to me whenever you want."_

Maya was still staring pensively at the sparkly cell phone. At the end of the dinner, to test it, she took a picture of Kirino-san with it. She realised that her feet drove her to her home only when she ended up before the front door.

Rei and Sayaka were still up, waiting for her. When they heard her entrance, they immediately reacted.

"So, who was he?" Sayaka exclaimed.

"I'm so sorry, Maya; I hope you're not too shocked?" Rei said.

That last sentence intrigued Maya. She looked up at her friend.

"What do you mean, "shocked"?"

The two girls stared at each other in silence. Rei seemed at least as puzzled as Maya. Sayaka gasped.

"You knew who he was?" Sayaka said, scandalised.

"No, but I guessed, it was just too obvious…"

Maya widen her eyes with shock.

"You knew Kirino Takumi?" She said, stunned.

"Kirino Ta…" Rei interrupted herself and bit her lips. "No…no, I suppose I was wrong…I guessed wrong."

Now Rei looked truly embarrassed. Maya still didn't fully understand what she meant. Did she imagine Mr Purple Rose was someone she knew? And someone she wouldn't like? The first thing she said when she came back was that she felt sorry for her, but why? Maya thought about this sentence over and over, searching its true meaning, but Sayaka interrupted her.

"Anyway, Maya, who was he?"

Apparently, her friend could bear the suspense any longer.

"His name is Kirino Takumi…"

"Is he handsome?"

"Sayaka!" Rei rolled her eyes.

Fortunately, Sayaka was too busy rolling her eyes back to Rei to notice the deep flush that colored Maya's cheeks. Actually, handsome, yes he was. And…

"Oh yes that's right! He is way much younger than I thought." Sayaka didn't even try to hide her grin, and Maya blushed again. "He is about thirty, more or less. Maybe thirty one. I think he is only twelve years older than me."

"So that means the question remains: Is he handsome, or not?"

To hide her expression, Maya buried her head in her hand bag to find the cell phone. Rei and Sayaka tried to cover their bewildered expression when they saw the beautiful and way too expensive iPhone she showed to them. Actually, "Would she even be able to use it?_"_ was the principal thought in Rei's mind, while envy was obvious in Sayaka's eyes. And they definitely failed the dissimulation of their astonishment when they saw Kirino Takumi. Rei frowned.

"But…Isn't it that guy is saw once giving you a message from Mr. Purple Rose?"

"Yes it's him! He was supposed to be some kind of bridge between Mr Purple Rose and me." Maya exclaimed. "But it was all a lie, the truth is, he IS Mr. Purple Rose!"

But Rei wasn't relieved at all. It was quite the contrary actually. What if the fist lie, wasn't a lie…what it this truth, was the true lie…

She lost herself in the depth of her assumptions. But in her mind, it was clear that something wasn't right. Why would Mr Purple Rose refuse to meet her as himself, but agree to do it as a middleman? It wasn't making any sense, if there was no problem in facing her, she should have al well be honest with her from the beginning, why making all those mystery?

Rei frowned even harder. But neither Maya nor Sayaka noticed it. The two of them was too excited, Maya was almost crying of joy. She seemed to be the only one to be circumspect toward this new situation.

If she first guessed right, then why on earth would this person ask Kirino-san to do something like that?

Suddenly, the three girls startled when the picture twinkled with a little tune. Kirino-san was calling. Maya's heart failed a beat. She immediately blushed, turned her back to her friends and picked up the phone.

"M-Maya speaking!" She exclaimed with a high-pitched voice.

She heard him chuckle softly.

"Good evening, Maya, it is Takumi" he said.

Sayaka, who was trying to listen to the whole conversation, grinned.

"Wow, what a voice!" she said out loud, giggling. "And he used his first name to greet her. Do you think he want her to call him 'Takumi'?"

"Sayaka, hush!" Rei said.

Takumi chuckled again. Maya gasped.

"Did you get that?" She was really embarrassed now.

"Yes," he laughed. "But it's okay. And yes, you can call me by my first name, if you want."

Sayaka stifled a squeak, took a glance to Rei and saw she was frowning again. Maya blushed even more.

"N-No way!" she stammered, making Takumi laugh again.

"I just wanted to make sure the phone was working." He said calmly.

"Y-yes it does. T-thank you very, very much!" She said overexcited.

"I spent a marvelous night. I hope we will see each other again soon."

Maya's legs were becoming weak.

"Of course you can call me whenever you want." He went on, still calm and soft in his way of talking. "You would never bother me. I always want to know how you are, it's very important for me."

Sayaka acted as if she was fainting. It was rather funny, but nothing could make Rei smile right now. Disgust was readable on her face. She had made up her mind; this guy wasn't the real admirer. Of course she had no way to prove it, and it was only a premonition, but still, somehow she couldn't buy this whole fake middleman story. When Maya finally hanged up the phone and turned her head toward Rei, her eyes were full of tears. Her friend tried to hide her expression, but before she could do anything, Maya threw herself in her arms, sobbing loudly.

Sayaka was beside herself.

***

Hijiri was still in the elevator upping toward his floor - sorry, apartment – when he hanged up the phone. He wasn't imagining things: Maya was crying. Telling her how important her life was to him made her cry. This girl was incredible. He couldn't understand why, but he was somehow moved by this excessive reaction. He could picture her face. She was so naïve.

The elevator stopped. He entered into his new home and, as usual, fell down on a sofa.

Maya, her face wetted by tears, but yet smiling, with her eyes glistered by emotion, was eclipsing everything else in his mind. Like a shiny picture of true and perfect innocence. Innocence he was playing with.

His phone rang.

"Hello? Hayami-sama…yes…yes she enjoyed the diner…….Hayami-sama, I am so sorry…yes, I did. Good night sir."

His shame was worse than ever. Hayami-san sounded really bad on the phone…And here he was, thinking about Maya crying of joy because of him…

He sighed. He took a glance at the whole apartment and his look locked on the library. He went reach the album of Maya in High School and opened it, sat in an armchair. The pictures comforted him somehow, as if the young girl's tenderness and the purity were washing him from the inside. Some of them made him laugh, as this one with Maya trying to cook something that was apparently burning. This girl was really something.

He kept admiring the whole album over and over until dawn.

*

Masumi was pacing up and down across the long room. Maybe he should wait a little longer. Perhaps they still were in the restaurant. His heart hurt him at this thought.

Maybe they were having so much fun that they didn't see the time passing.

No, he shouldn't think about it. It was his decision. He had to get over it.

He had to.

But he couldn't wait any longer. He picked up his phone and called Hijiri.

"Hijiri!...So, you…you did it, right?...." He sighed. He had to clear his voice before answering. "Did she...did she enjoy the diner?..."He covered his eyes listening the answer, his breath began to shake. He try do hide it, but anybody could still notice it. «Did you give her the phone? Thank you, thank you Hijiri…Good night, yes."

Then he hanged up.

The room was perfectly quiet. Too quiet. He took the poker from the fireplace and hit violently the nearest vase with it. The china thing exploded, and many piece of shattered china spilled on the red carpet, flowers and water coming with them.

But he wasn't feeling any better.

*

It was late in the night; Sayaka was in a deep sleep now. Maya and Rei were also lied down on their futon, but the two of them could barely blink.

"Rei…can I ask you something?" Maya whispered.

"Sure."

"Okay, then…who did you think he would be? Mr Purple Rose. You thought he was someone else, right? You told us it seemed obvious to you. Who were you thinking at?"

Her friend didn't respond in the second. She was thinking. To tell her or not to tell her: that was the question. She could always come up with a lie. Maybe she would way she thought it was Sakurakoji Yuu. Well, she couldn't actually, because first of all, Yuu was a nice boy, but he couldn't afford this part, in a way of money and imagination. Also, she asked her if she wasn't too shocked, so it wouldn't work. She better tell her the truth.

"Rei?" Maya insisted.

Rei sighed. _Well…_

"I thought I was Hayami Masumi."

*

The bedroom was quieter than ever. Maya could even hear the wind shake the shutters. Sayaka's breath was deep and loud, she was still dreaming. She could almost hear her own heart, beating so fast and hard that she was feeing like it was going to explode.

"Hayami-san?" She repeated slowly.

"Yes."

"Now I understand what you meant when you thought I would be shocked."

Rei nodded.

"But…Hayami-san…Rei how could you think that?"

"Don't you see?"

Still looking at the ceiling in the dark, Rei explained:

"He is so gentle and thoughtful with you. Okay, 'gentle' may not be the right word: it is true that he has his temper, and sometimes he can be rough, but it's always for your sake. He makes you face the reality, and he's always giving you smart advices, like when he told you to be respectful and polite even toward people you hate. When he forced you to go see Ayumi's show, he was violent but, by playing the part of the villain, he made you see the path you still had to go through. He let you live in his home when you were depressed! He even obviously showed his interest in you by sending you flowers in front of many important people after your play! He didn't have to do that but thanks to him you received many offers! If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't have bothered. It's an important man, why would he do that for a girl who doesn't even want to be a part of his company? That's why I though he could be Mr. Purple Rose. But I guess I was wrong…"

_Yes, maybe I was wrong,_ she thought. _Maybe not._

Maya sat up and stared at Rei, shocked.

"But, do you forget what he did to my mother?"

"Of course I don't!" Rei said. "But how could he have known that Haru-san would escape from the hospital. She wouldn't have died if she had stayed in there!"

"Are you listening to yourself? Rei, he locked her up!"

"But it was for you to be successful! He wanted it to be a great publicity for you!"

"Anyway, my mom was not a tool! I can't believe you are defending him…"

"Maya…" she sighed." Just think about it, okay? Maya I can assure you that Masumi Hayami doesn't take care of any other actresses the way he takes care of you."

"Hayami-san…takes care…of me?" She repeated, puzzled.

For sure she never thought about it that way. Why would this man do something like that? She was nothing to him. Nothing at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 6: The album…**

_January, 1__st__. _

_It's been a month since I told Maya I was Mr. Purple Rose. Things are going well, I suppose. She trusts me. She always believes in what I say without questioning my word. It makes me feel bad. I could be the worse person in the world; she would never see it and would follow me anywhere. It's frightening me. If I wanted to, I could totally use her and she wouldn't mind. She would not even notice it. It is way too easy to fool her; she needs to be protected. _

_I don't have any news from Hayami-sama. He doesn't answer my phone calls. He hadn't asked how the plan worked since that day. I have to admit it, I am really worried. How is he really doing? _

_I got used to meet Maya at the Lonlon restaurant each and every Tuesday. She looks always so cheerful, with that grin on her face and that warm light in her eyes. I guess it work: She seems to be happy now. _

_How long is it going to last? _

Hijiri closed the little book on his desk. He decided to write his impression every month from the day he had to lie to Maya. This little text would probably suffice for that month. He sighed. Today was Tuesday. He would meet her tonight.

Without even noticing it, he smiled.

*

"Oh, Maya _come on!"_

"Huh?"

"You are doing it again!"

Maya looked down and saw that her cup of tea had actually turned into a fountain, the tea pool widening on the table and threatening the album she wanted to give to Kirino-san put there. The teapot was still in her hand.

This time too, her first reaction was to scream. Rei save the album and took advantage of the occasion by observing the object attentively.

"What is that thing, Maya?" She asked when her friend finished cleaning her mess.

"It's a gift for Mr. Purple Rose." She answered with a smile. "As a thanks for the make-up box."

Intrigued, Rei opened it. It was a pretty album full of photos from the girl's plays. Almost all her parts were represented. Rei bit her lips.

"You got to be right, trusting this man. Imagine if the real fan was actually…"

"Rei, I've told you: I don't want to talk about it."

"Just saying…"

And then she put the book down.

It's been a month since Maya finally met her fervent fan and she was over the moon. Kirino Takumi was truly an amazing person. He didn't mind meeting her all Tuesday nights whereas he had a job that must be keeping him busy. She was very grateful for that. She loved talking to him: everything she always wanted to tell him had been stuck into her heart, and now she could at last free them. It was so relieving to her!

She finally picked her new part. She met Kuronuma Ryuuzo, a genius of directing, who offered her the part of Jane, a wolf-girl. She had immediately been engrossed by the role as well as for the story. She started to desire becoming Jane at any cost. The rehearsals had already begun and Maya had been utterly stunned when she saw that her partner, the one who would play Stuart, was no one else but Sakurakoji Yuu. She hadn't seen him for a while and had been really surprise to see how mannish Yuu had become. He was taller, with strong shoulders and had grown really handsome. Maya also met his girlfriend, Mai, a cute young lady who was even smaller than her (a moment of pure relief when she had to fight the urge to yell "_Thanks god !"_ and go find Masumi Hayami to show him that she wasn't _this_ small, after all._)._ This encountering made her feel a little nostalgic and she surprised herself thinking about the nature of her relationship with Kirino-san.

She thought that, since time had passed, nothing weird could happen between her and Yuu, but she was wrong. Something did happen after all.

She was alone in a room with him, trying to play a scene between Stuart and Jane. Stuart was supposed to try making Jane talk by putting her mouth in the right position. Everything was going great when suddenly Stuart's and Jane's mask broke. They were Maya and Sakurakoji again, and their position became really awkward. His palms were cupping her chin, holding her face firmly. Then he whispered Maya's name and leaned down to kiss her. At the last second, Maya managed to push him back, rejecting him in a rather radical and obvious way. From what happened, and what she felt then, she leaned two things: First of all, Sakurakoji still had feeling for her. And secondly, something inside her was forbidding her to be too close to any boy, and that "thing" was somehow related to Kirino Takumi. She didn't know what this meant but whatever it was, it was upsetting her badly.

And this Monday, Mr. Purple Rose sent her flowers and a present: a pink make-up box. When she received it, she felt a pleasant warmth filling her being. It was so kind of him to keep sending her flowers as he used to!

So, as a "thanks", she decided to give him an album full of photos from her different plays. She really hoped he would like it.

Maya glanced at the clock. Seven hours and a half. She had to go. It was Tuesday and she didn't want to be late.

*

"I'm so sorry, Maya!" Hijiri said while feeling a bit worried. "I hope you didn't wait for me too long!"

"No, of course not, I just arrived!" She answered, panicked as well that he would feel bad having kept her waiting.

"You're sure? You are not saying this to humor me?"

Damn, this panic was infectious. Maya shook her head frenetically.

"No I assure you! You are not late at all!"

"How could I believe you, you are lying to make me feel at ease!"

"No, I swear!"

This would have certainly held the whole evening, Hijiri blaming himself, Maya trying to make up for nothing, if the barman hadn't interrupted them.

"Hey! Friendly Couple!" she shouted.

The two concerned turned their head to look at the middle-aged mustachioed man who was drying a glass while looking at them with an amused smile.

"Actually you are both early!" He said, fighting a laugh.

Hijiri and Maya glanced at their watch as one person. A few people in the restaurant chuckled.

"You are right: it's not eight o'clock yet!"

They looked at each other, and then burst out laughing. It took almost ten minutes for them to calm down.

At the _Lonlon_, everybody knew they were habitués of this café. The maiden had all a crush on Hijiri and the barman was always calling them the "Friendly Couple", even if it was only the fifth Tuesday they were meeting each other there. It all began when Hijiri offered a drink to a heartbroken maid. The young woman blushed and stammered: "Thank you, sir. You are really friendly". Then the barman said: "Don't try to seduce him, Sakura, they are a friendly **couple!"**

Strange thing, Hijiri didn't correct him by saying they weren't dating. He actually kind of liked that nickname "the Friendly Couple". He also always enjoyed seeing Maya blushing all of the sudden and began to stammer every time the barman says: "Here they come, our Friendly Couple! Coming right away! » It was always hilarious.

When they finally managed to calm down, Maya gave Hijiri an album. Surprised, he took it.

"It's not much, but I thought you would probably like it."

Even more intrigued, Hijiri opened it and discovered dozens of photographs, all showing Maya on stage. Every plays she ever played in were represented in that little green book. Gratitude took his breath away.

"It's a thanks for the box," she précised "I really liked it."

"The box?" He said, puzzled.

"Yes, the make-up box you gave me! It is really pretty, I love it!"

"But, wait, I didn't…"

Suddenly he interrupted himself and held a gasp. He bit his lower lip and looked away to hide his surprise. No. He had never give Maya any make-up box.

Masumi did.

Hiding his emotions seemed to be harder than before. He fought the urge to standing up and going out to call his friend in order to get an explanation. Why did he do that? After all than plan to let her go, after refusing all his calls, he gave a present to Maya as Mr. Purple Rose! Hijiri didn't like that. That could expose him. Now, thanks to him, he had to straighten the situation.

"Oh, yes, of course! That box! I'm sorry I must be a little tired tonight…"

"Are you? Maybe we could leave earlier so you could rest!"

She sounded like she was really worried. Again, her concern touched him in a way he hadn't expected.

*

A few minutes later, Kirino-san and Maya left the restaurant. Maya was delighted. Kirino-san accepted her gift gladly and smiled to her, though he was tired due to his harassing work. She shouldn't ask for too much and should be more grateful.

The barman called them a couple again this night. And again Kirino-san didn't say a thing. What did that mean? Did he really think of her as his girlfriend?

She blushed. In a way, she liked the idea. She looked up at his smooth face and blushed even more. His long hair brushed by the wind, he looked thoughtful and serious all of the sudden. He was often looking like that, a mysterious sorrow in his unfocused eyes. It made a strange effect to her body. Like an urge to go nearer to him, to touch him and make him looking at her. But then she always repressed that embarrassing feeling and looked away.

Except this time she couldn't help it. She grabbed his arm and held it tight to make him turn his head and meet her gaze.

*

When she grabbed his forearm, Hijiri jumped lightly. He turned his head and saw her eyes, full of concern and tenderness. He might have made a face to worry her. Usually, he would just have smiled to comfort her, but when she met that gaze, he couldn't help but finding her endearing. Young and naïve, as always. She should be more aware of her doing. Someone with worse intentions could take advantage of that king of situation.

*

Masumi was in his car at the same moment, looking through the window when she saw them. He immediately demanded Mizuki to stop the car.

Maya; firmly caught held on Hijiri's arm, an intense gaze toward him widening her eyes. Mizuki gasped but he didn't pay any attention to it. The truth was he couldn't tear himself from that terrible view and simply look away. He was torn, indeed, but also hypnotized.

He never thought Maya could have that sort of look in the real life. Those mesmerizing expressions belonged to her acting and couldn't appear on his Chibi-chan's eyes; at least, that was what he always believed. How could she be looking at him this way? She barely knew him! How could she trust this stranger that much in only one month? Why did she believe him when he said he was Mr. Purple Rose? Deep down, Masumi always wanted her not to buy this lie, even if he said he wanted her to be happy, deep down…

How could she abandon him that easily?

Jealousy was burning his self, but this wasn't the worst part of his agony. There was anger too, fury.

What the _hell_ was that look in Hijiri's eyes?

Here they were, just in front of him, a perfect little couple! We had he cute, endearing girlfriend, and her kind, protective, handsome lover, looking at each other with passion. As if everything was great, trustworthy and full of love. Maya seemed to be happy, but Hijiri had crossed the betrayal line. He had no right to look at her this way. As if he was in love with her.

This was more than he could bear. He got out of the car.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6****: …and the make-up box.**

_**M**__asumi got out of the car, hesitated for a second, and got back in with a sigh…_

No, I'm kidding.

***

Masumi got out of the car, slamming the door behind him, and strode along toward the Friendly Couple. His palms had turned into fists. That was truly unbelievable: Hijiri seemed so outraged by the plan just one month ago and now what? All lovey-dovey in the street, like there was nothing more natural in the world. He truly couldn't stand it. He may have no idea of what he was going to do now, but he couldn't just keep silent like he wouldn't mind.

But when Maya saw him, she suddenly let go of Hijiri's arm and step away from him.

This move was so nervous, and so sharp, it made Masumi freeze. Actually, there was something strange in her attitude now. Her face was leaned down, even if her eyes were looking up right at him. Her shoulders were a bit bended, as if she was expecting to suffer a rebuff from him. The whole expression could be fully described by the word "shame", but this wasn't making any sense. How could she be ashamed of…of anything! This wasn't her fault! He wasn't going to blame her; did she think he was so? Was his expression that scary? This really wasn't making any sense.

"President Hayami!" Hijiri exclaimed, bowing.

As an answer, Masumi glared at him furiously. But then, his eyes met hers and he couldn't help but forcing himself to smile.

"Chibi-chan, I didn't know Kirino-san was an acquaintance of yours?"

"Y-yes! Yes he is…"

She was definitely blushing. Even in the darkness of the night, he could see it. But her shoulders bended themselves a little more, so it was a shame flush. And, again, it wasn't making any sense. Was she embarrassed he found out she had a boyfriend?

But he shouldn't be thinking about this. There was something much more important. He glared at his former friend.

"Kirino-san, I'm glad you're here. I actually had to speak with you about a really important matter."

And important, yes it was. He just had no right to behave like this. He knew this plan was his idea in the first place, and he knew that after a moment the two of them were going to date. It was seriously breaking his heart, but he accepted it. But, come on, one month?! Was he in such a hurry to seduce her?

Hijiri glared back at him. What the hell? Was he provoking him? Masumi thought. What could that bastard be furious about? Although he had in his hands the keys of Maya's heart, or maybe wasn't that running quick enough? Was Masumi bothering him in his sweet date?

"Of course, sir."Hijiri answered, and then he said to Maya "Maya, I'm calling you a taxi, okay?"

"There is no need," Masumi said quickly. "Chibi-chan, you are coming with us, I'm driving you home."

"Hayami-san…" Maya said, bewildered.

*

They got in the car, and then the situation got even more awkward. The three of them were in the back of the car, a little tightly packed and Maya was in the middle. She wasn't used to be that close to anyone, but there she was, dreadfully on contact with Hayami-san's leg and shoulder, and it was exactly the same with Kirino-san, and she couldn't escape! She was trying really hard making herself small, using the less space as possible, but it wasn't helping at all.

*

Hijiri pull out of his pocket something thin, green and rectangular. Looking at it with more attention, Masumi saw it was a little book. "Album" was written with thin, elegant black letters on the cover. An album? Could it be…

"It's a great present you gave me, Maya…" Hijiri said with a smile.

Masumi's hand turned into a fist. So he guessed right. Hijiri began to turn slowly the pages, so Masumi could enjoy the view. All the plays Maya played in were in there, even those he didn't know about them. The one on the first page, which really looked like a school play, was definitely Maya's first appearance on stage. Masumi widened his eyes with shock. She was only a little girl then, the twelve-years-old Chibi-chan he met on that theatre that day. Still, her energy looked great on the middle of the stage. But the thing that was truly unbelievable was how much she had changed from then. In comparison of the child on the picture, the Maya sat right beside him was much more adult. She was a young woman now. How come he never noticed it!

As Hijiri thanked her, Maya blushed.

"I'm so glad you liked it." She said. "I just wanted to thank you…"

"For the make-up box _**I **_gave you, right?" Hijiri said with a fierce voice and a fake smile.

Masumi swallowed loudly. So, he found out. Of course he did. That explained why he looked so furious against him.

But; wait a minute; that also meant she gave Hijiri a gift to thank him for the make-up HE gave her! That album should be his, not Hijiri's. That was so unfair. Again, anger and jealousy burned through his body like fire. He couldn't take his eyes off the little book. He wanted to touch it. To feel the texture of the cover (it looked like it was some kind of silk).

"Yes," Maya said "it was really kind of you to send me purple roses like you used to…"

Mizuki braked suddenly, throwing the three passengers forward. Maya almost suffocated behind her belt.

"Is there any problem, Mizuki-kun?" Masumi asked casually.

"That is…well…no sir. No problem."

"Please drive carefully."

"Yes sir, my apologize sir."

The car stopped in front of Maya's home. Maya and Hijiri got out. After they've shut the door, Mizuki faced Masumi, glaring at him, and then said:

"What have you done, sir?"

Masumi didn't answer.

Hijiri and Maya were having a few words. Too long to be a mere and casual goodnight, but with the door closed Masumi couldn't hear what they were saying. He didn't like that. He opened his window. At that moment, Hijiri paused to catch a stray lock of hair that was escaping the twist of her neck and wound it back into place, and Masumi tried really hard not to jump out the car to kill him.

Maya blushed. Masumi looked away.

"It could be you, Hayami-san" Mizuki said.

"Please, don't speak…"

*****

When she saw Maya getting out of Hayami-san's car with Kirino-san, Rei was convinced. It couldn't be a coincidence. She rushed out the apartment and went meet Maya.

"Rei!" She said. It sounded like she was really pleased that she appeared all of the sudden. Rei betted her cheek was in fire.

"Maya, it is pretty cold here, why don't you go inside, I have something to say to President Hayami about our current play."

"Y-yes!" Maya said with relief. Obviously she was saving her. The girl ran away as fast as she could.

When she was sure Maya wouldn't get any of what she was saying, Rei glared at Kirino Takumi.

"I don't know what is it you think you are doing, but I'm telling you: you won't fool me." She said with a fierce voice.

"What…" A woman he never saw, or maybe once, was talking to him. And obviously she didn't like him. What was going on?

"You perfectly know what I'm talking about!"

"I'm sorry, I…" He was sincere, he couldn't be more lost. Was she crazy or something?

"I know you are not Mr Purple Rose!"

Kirino-san grimaced and his jaws tightened. Rei tried not to look surprise. She had said that to see his reaction. To see how he would argument with her, to convince her. But this man – Kirino Takumi, wasn't saying a word. Instead, he had the guiltiest expression on her face she had ever seen.

She usually loved to be the one who was right, but this case was an exception. Because if it wasn't him, this meant it was…

She turned her head toward Hayami-san. His expression was unreadable, and Rei betted it was done on purpose. She felt her heart ache: it was so unfair.

*

The three of them kept silent during almost one minute, and then Masumi manage to say, with a half-broken voice.

"Don't say anything. Please, I would do whatever you want but don't ever tell her. It would kill her. Please."

Mizuki startled. Normally, her employer would have done something, said something to convince her she was paranoid. People were mostly very impressed by Masumi Hayami, his charisma was undeniable. People were scared of him, and yet this young woman was speaking to him as if he was nothing but a schoolmate. And he was giving up too easily ! This wasn't right, she shouldn't be able to speak to him this way. She glanced at Masumi in her mirror, and saw with a horrified awe how weak he seemed. The shock of witnessing Maya flirting with his friend must have been worst than she thought.

Rei recoiled out of surprise. She thought he would deny it, that he would use is icy charisma like he always does. She thought he would threaten her, finally. She didn't know exactly what she expected, but it was far from this: this broken voice, those suffering eyes, and this plead. But she could take it at her advantage. She could ask anything.

"Anything? You really would do anything?"

"Yes."

"Then stop harassing Sensei about the Crimson Goddess!"

His jaws locked. Mizuki observed his expression attentively. He had to say something about this matter; he couldn't just give up on _that_!

"You can't ask me that."

"Oh, actually, I think I do!" She replied with vehemence. _What with this girl? _Hijiri thought.

"I have my reasons for doing that!"

"Reasons, what reasons? Is it more important than Maya?"

Masumi glared at her. She didn't blink and wait. They dared each other during a full minute, and finally Masumi looked away.

"Fine. I won't try to get those rights."

"You better keep your promise."

Masumi sighed. Mizuki couldn't believe what she just heard. Something was just not right. She began to fear that the downcast mood of her employer might turn into a real depression. Ordinary only one glare from him would get his opponent pee on himself, but this little woman just get from him to give up what he had been fiercely fighting for those past ten years. This wasn't right.

"And I also have a question." Rei went on.

"Which is?"

"Was it you?" She said, with a softer voice. "The one who invited Maya to that play, was it you?"

For a moment, Masumi remained rigid, but he nodded after all. Rei sighed and looked down. She began to sake. When, after a minute, she finally looked up, Masumi saw that her eyes were red. She was trying not to cry in front of him, and that surprised him. What would she cry about? Hijiri was more and more sceptical about this woman's mental health. Just one minute ago she was almost picking a fight with her boss, and now there she was, almost crying in front of him. What was it all about?

*

"You made a huge mistake!" She exclaimed. She couldn't keep it inside anymore, this was too much. Hayami-san seemed puzzled. But she had to say it out loud.

"You don't know her, you don't see her, the way she speak to you, and about you! You didn't see the way she behaved starting from the moment she came back from that play you enjoyed together. You never noticed, you never noticed…"

She couldn't hold back her tears; they were heating her cheeks, clouding her gaze. Yet she could still see how bewildered Hayami-san looked like while she kept crying and speaking. The words weren't coming in the right order, but she didn't care, she had to tell him! How could he do something like that, while she believed in him all those years!

"So yes, yes it is true! Maya would have been shocked, at first, like anyone else would be! But, but eventually, eventually she would, she would have…"

She didn't know how to end her phrase. Masumi didn't show any reaction, but inside, he was starting to understand what this young woman meant. She was thinking that Maya would be able to accept him, but she was wrong. Surely she didn't know all the details, like about Maya's death for example.

*

Yet, those last words were still burning in Masumi's head a few minutes later. In the car, Hijiri, Mizuki and him remained silent. His heart was still thumping so loudly and painfully that is was hard for him to breathe quietly. That girl had yelled at him as if he had deceived her. Had she hoped he would tell Maya the truth and would try to seduce her? And more important: as Maya's best friend, had she really believed he stood a chance?

Hijiri interrupted his thought.

"Say it."

"What?"

"You wanted to tell me something, right? Then say it."

Masumi meet Hijiri's confident gaze. He picked his words carefully.

"Are you and Maya…getting along?"

"Yes."

The cold answer provoked an awkward silence. Masumi went on.

"I mean, are you two…"

"Dating?"

"Yes."

"Does it matter?"

"Hijiri!"

His friend laughed coldly. He didn't even try to hide he was making fun of him.

"You are so jealous!"

"Are you in love with her?"

"Are you kidding me?" He answered immediately, still casual while Masumi was having a hard time trying not to loose his control.

"Please answer my question." He said between his teeth.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I don't love her!"

Masumi frowned. This has to be a lie.

"But, just now you were so…close to her…"

"Shortly, you told me to act like you crave to, right?"

"So this is…all an act?"

"Of course it is, what else could it be?"

Hijiri glanced at his friend. He half smiled.

"You look surprised, Masumi-sama, but you know, it's not everyone tastes to fall for a girl you are ten years older…Some would even say it's criminal…"

"Hijiri !"

His smile laughed again. Then he regained his serious.

"Now, may I know why you did it for?"

His tone was clearly announcing a fight.

"What?"

"The make-up box!" he exclaimed. "Why did you send it to her?"

Oh. That.

"I don't have to explain myself."

"Yes you do, actually!"

"Well I just wanted to…to…anyway what is the problem with that?"

Hijiri laughed coldly.

"Are you kidding me? She almost found out that I wasn't Mr Purple Rose because of you! Well, at least, the same one who sent her that stupid box. By the way, she loved it."

They glared at each other. Hijiri went on.

" You are the one who wanted me to become Mr Purple Rose !"

"WHAT ?" Mizuki screamed, but they didn't pay any attention to her.

" But now you are acting really strange" Hijiri went on.

"You say I'm not allowed to send her anything anymore?"

"Yes! It's exactly what I'm saying. And it was YOUR IDEA ! You have no right to do anything who would make Maya discover the truth."

"But I AM Mr Purple Rose!" Masumi exclaimed.

"No you're not !" They glared at each other, both fully aware of the importance of the talk they were having. "I'm sorry but you are not. Not anymore."

The car stopped. Hijiri got ready to got out when Masumi called him. He turned his head, glaring at him again, and then, just before he left, he said with a fierce that surprised Masumi:

"Stay away from Maya."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter**** 7: A place to go**

This Tuesday in the evening, nearly by eight o'clock, Maya was wandering in the street, a sandwich in one hand, the Forgotten Wildness's script in the other hand, when her phone suddenly rang. She jumped and hasted to pick it up; still a little nervous due to her lack of habitude to use the high-tech phone Kirino-san gave her a month ago. She was always afraid to push the wrong key. By chance, this time she pressed the little green phone, and Kuronuma didn't have to try calling her again with an exasperated sigh. She raised the phone at her ear and screamed "MAYA SPEAKING!" Some passers-by turned round to stare at her with amusement, and Maya felt blood rushing trough her cheeks. She heard Kuronuma sigh.

"Maya, how many times would I have to tell you? IT'S A PHONE! Like any other phone, you can speak normally; there is absolutely no need to scream!"

"I'm sorry…"

"Yeah, whatever…Listen, Maya. We've got a problem."

His voice became suddenly low and grave. Maya listen carefully. When he finally told her what was going on, she froze.

*

At the same moment, at Musical Hours, the little record and score store dedicated to classical music, comfortably sat in an armchair, a headset covering his ears, Hijiri was fully aware that if he allowed himself to close his eyes for one second, the record dealer would definitely have to wake him up at the shop closing. But it wasn't like he cared, so he was about to completely relax when he saw a thin figure in the dark street coming closer to the shop window: a familiar, thin figure. He tried to look better. When the neon lighting revealed her face, Hijiri recognized Maya. He stood up, jumping on his feet and observed her an entire minute during. She looked so distressed, staring at the records just behind the store window, her red, wet eyes unfocused. What happened to her?

Then, as if she suddenly became aware that someone was staring at her, she looked up. Surprise made her eyes widen, but that didn't erase her heartbreaking expression. She tried to smile and waved toward him, but a tear suddenly fell on her cheek and she turned her head to hide it.

Hijiri rushed toward her.

"Maya, are you okay?" He said with a worried voice. And the strange thing was he was truly worried, he didn't have to pretend. "What happened?"

"They…they took our place." She said, and then began to sob. "Our place, where we were practicing: they took it from us!"

She explained that some other team got the room to do their rehearsals. Her director was being censured by the producer, so they were putting them in a bad situation on purpose. Hijiri couldn't say anything that would make her stop crying. He knew how important that play was. In a few months, that would be the deadline of the ultimatum: it would be two years since Tsukikage Chigusa told her she had to win the Best Actress Award to be able to compete for the Crimson Goddess role with Himekawa Ayumi. This play was her last chance.

"Can't you guys go somewhere else?" Hijiri dared to ask.

"And where could we?" She exclaimed, her tears bursting with rage. "Beside, we can't afford wasting more days looking for a place to go! We need to practice right now!"

"Hold on, hold on!" Hijiri said, grabbing her shoulders. He tried to tease her a little. "Hey! Where on earth did your optimism go?"

It didn't work. Instead of laughing, she cried even more loudly. Helpless, Hijiri looked away, searching a solution in the thin air. It made him notice that passers-by had started to take quick and accusing looks at him before walking away, muttering pretty things like "What a jerk!" or "Shameless young man" for the politer ones. Embarrassed, Hijiri avoided their glares and focused on Maya, still looking for a solution. Maybe he should ask Masumi to lend a room to them. He smiled joylessly. Even in this dramatic situation, Maya's pride would never accept Masumi's help. Then, he had a flash of inspiration. A triumphant smile lightened his face and he felt the sudden urge of looking up to the sky to thank God or whoever just gave him such a brilliant idea.

Without going to the trouble of explaining everything to her right away, Hijiri grabbed Maya's wrist and dragged her across the streets. When, after a gasp of surprise, she asked what he was doing, Hijiri simply said "Just follow me, you'll see."

At least, she was so stunned that she forgot her despair. That fact itself was worth the move.

*

Kirino-san took her to a huge building, whose doors opened automatically after he entered a pass on the entrance keypad and got his keys scanned. In the hallway, Maya saw a hostess bowing before Kirino-san and greeting him respectfully using his last name. Then they got into an elevator and Kirino-san pressed the button shaped as a '67': this building's highest floor. The elevator slowly rose up and Maya could hear a little piano music played. Neither she nor he was saying anything, yet Maya was on edge: this was way too mysterious for her to be bore! At last, the elevator stopped with a slight jolt and they arrived in a large corridor that was completely empty except for a beautiful and expensive-looking double door standing right in front of them. Maya swallowed loudly with a surge of stress provoked by the amount of luxury that was surrounding her. Kirino-san conducted her toward the very door as Maya advanced shyly. When they stopped before it, Maya gathered all her courage and asked:

"Where are we?"

Kirino-san smiled casually and pointed his finger at an unobtrusive sign under the bell. "KIRINO Takumi" was written on it. She had to read it several times to finally understand. No freaking way…

"Is this," she stammered, utterly stunned, "is this your place?"

"Yes, it's my apartment." He answered casually while unlocking the door. Hijiri laughed at her astonished gaze. This expression was priceless.

*

They came inside. Hijiri observed carefully Maya's reaction. After all, this place had been designed for her. He felt a sudden pang of bitter. Yes, he shouldn't forget it: all of him, from his job to his apartment, was a complete fabrication made by Masumi especially for Maya. His friend had foreseen this moment. Nothing was real.

But he could make it real. It was up to him to stop acting and truly become his character.

Before Hijiri's eyes, Maya was discovering the place, bewildered and somehow charmed. He could see her eyes looking at every little thing in the loft. At a moment, she saw on a wall her diploma framed beautifully and froze. She became so still that for a moment, Hijiri feared to have offended her in some way. But then, he saw a tear falling on her cheek as she smiled widely, tear she quickly wiped, certainly hoping he wouldn't notice it. Well, if it could make her at ease, so would he pretend.

"Tanks to you, I had been able to graduate in this wonderful high school." She faced him. Thankfulness was printed on all her features. "How could I ever show you my gratitude?"

Hijiri felt his heat race. He could demand anything. She would say yes. Why was he so pleased by that situation?

"You could accept my offer." He said. Yes, he shouldn't ask anything. Just help her with her issue; that was all. He had no right to do anything else.

Her expression became bewildered. "Your…offer?" she repeated.

"Please do me a favour and use this place as a rehearsal room." Hijiri said.

Maya blinked once. Hijiri smiled, satisfied. If he turned his offer as a way to repay him, she wouldn't be able to refuse. He was a genius.

"You…you want me to…"

"This place is too large for just one person: I don't like it." He explained, overacting his despair a bit. "So I will _really_ appreciate it if you could practice here with all the team. _Of course _you could come at the same days and hours you are used to; I don't want to make things harder to you…" He was truly overacting now. But it seemed to be working. A large grin stretched her lips and she exclaimed.

"Is it for real?"

He tried to look casual, although what he really wanted to do was more like screaming _"OF COURSE IT IS, YOU SILLY GIRL, and PLEASE SAY YES!"_ But he managed to look nonchalant and said "Yes, I told you it's boring to live in a huge place like this all alone…"

"Oh my, that's so great!" She exclaimed, delighted. She turned around and scanned the whole place with amazement. Then she rushed toward him and grabbed his hands. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness.

"Thank you, Kirino-san, thank you so much!"

Although this sudden contact with her warm hands was taking him aback in a weird and surprising way, Hijiri focused on his goal, which was not to make her feel like _he_ was the one who's doing _her_ a favour.

"Does that mean you're accepting?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Oh thank you Maya! You are really saving me!"

"Well…anytime…I guess…" She said, puzzled.

"Tank you so much!" He insisted.

It didn't matter if he sounded weird to her, as long as she kept smiling. She forgot she was holding his hands tightly how she was happy, and Hijiri's heart began to race even faster. Suddenly embarrassed, he freed them and hid them in his pockets. It was time to change the subject.

"So," he said, "why don't we start moving all theses furniture to make some space?"

"Yes!" She said happily.

That's how they started a shambles-style rearranging of his interior design. The main thing was to free space as much as possible, so the company could practice correctly. They weren't doing any art deco. So, they first removed all the lamps and vases with flowers and put them all in a wall broom cupboard. After that they pushed all the furniture, as all the tables, large or small, the chairs, and the armchairs, all against the walls. It was the hardest part. But it was also rather fun.

The atmosphere was really relaxed and our Friendly Couple were laughing freely at simple things as the hardness of pushing a really heavy piece of furniture. Maya was always finding a way to make a fool of herself and to show her extreme clumsiness by tripping in a lamp wire or some other things like that. As an example, Maya and Hijiri were both pushing a large and heavy couch decorated with cushions to drag it against the bay window. When they realized that both of them were pushing instead of letting one push while the one on the other edge is pulling, Hijiri said:

"Maya, you pull it, I will push it, okay?"

"No way," She said immediately "I'm pushing."

Without asking her reason, he insisted. "Pull it; it would be easier to you!" he said while keeping pushing his way. Maya frowned and pushed even harder.

"In your dream, I'm stronger than you think!"

"Stronger than me?" He asked cheerfully, teasing her.

"Maybe." She dared to answer after a second of hesitation, and pushed the couch using all her strength. Then, beaming, Hijiri pushed the piece of furniture once but really hard, and Maya toppled over the armrest and fell on the couch that Hijiri was still dragging quickly against the bay window, tearing the girl a scream of surprise. When he stopped it, they glanced at each other and remained silent during a minute to wind back, and then Hijiri said.

"You see…you can't win against me!" He grinned widely.

As an answer, Maya threw a cushion in his face, and they both burst out laughing.

Then they rolled up the carpets together and put them in the same broom cupboard. Both kneeled down, Maya was smoothing them, so there could not be any bump, and in front of her Hijiri was rolling them up. Here again, to tease her, Hijiri tried to roll the carpets before she could smooth them to make her hands been swallowed by the rugs. Maya tried to defend herself by suddenly pushing him aside but she lost more than once.

Once they cleared the entire place, they dropped into the sofa, happily exhausted, and admired the fruits of their labor with satisfaction. The main part of the apartment had turned into large and empty room; from the boundary of the glass stairs, behind which were the kitchen spot and the little corridor that leaded to the bathrooms, to the screen that hid Hijiri's bed and office with the library; where light was reflected by the waxed parquet floor, with only a black a bright grand piano and a piece of furniture with a Hi-fi system for the physical practices. The hundreds of CD had been stocked in the cupboard too. One would believe they were in an Ondine's Company practice room. This was even better than the place the producers had taken from Maya's team. Maya seemed over the moon. Hijiri sighed with pleasure. He glanced at the girl.

"Do you want to drink something?"

"I love you!" She exclaimed of relief. Nothing else could have made her happier.

Hijiri laughed to hide his awkwardness. Even if it took him just one second to realize it was just a way of putting it, this instant had had the effect of an electrocution on him and he hurried to make them both a hot chocolate. When he came back, this little moment of embarrassment had completely vanished. She didn't even seemed of having noticed anything, smiled at him really naturally as he handed her a purple mug and sat comfortably beside her.

"This place is just beautiful!" she said merrily. "Thank you so much Kirino-san!"

"Don't thank me; I'm the one who is being made a favor." He insisted cheerily.

*

They smiled at each other. At that moment, Maya felt like slightly putting her head on his shoulder, but she stopped her from thinking about it and focused on her mug. She smiled tenderly when she noticed its color. Purple, as always. She glanced at him and saw he was staring at her. She smiled even wider.

"I'm so anxious to tell Kuronuma Sensei and Sakurakoji-kun we still have a place to go!"

"You want to call them?" Kirino-san asked.

She shook her head. "Tomorrow." She implicitly meant that it was already too late to call anyone. Kirino-san checked his watch. It was almost midnight. She took a sip of her chocolate. The warm liquid was heating her whole body, giving her way in the sofa, a really relaxing feeling.

"Your apartment is…." She searched the right word "really vast." She said, impressed.

"Yes, it is. It takes almost the whole floor." Too vast, Hijiri corrected for himself. This place was ridiculous. But he was supposed to have bough it himself, so…

"And the view is really beautiful."

"And yet, you didn't see the roof." He said.

"May I?" She asked, curious.

"Not tonight." He said "It's prettier during daytime." Hijiri added not to hurt her with this negative response.

"You must be really rich." She said with a low voice.

"Not so much" he admitted casually. "Well, I'm not poor, but to say I'm rich…"

"You liar!" She cried out. "Nobody can afford such a place unless he is a prince or something!"

Was she thinking he was some kind of prince? Well, he liked the idea.

"Well, as you can see, I hadn't to pay for the doors or the insulating partition walls…" He laughed.

"That's very true!" She said, laughing too. "How come there is NO door in this place? And I think I can count the walls on my hands!"

"It's a mystery to me too." He said. "I don't know, maybe there wasn't enough of cement, so they said: "Let's make a floor apartment with less than ten walls and let's the renter deal with it!""

"And," Maya added "maybe they lost the doors and the owner said: "It's no big deal, they won't use them!""

Hijiri roared with laughter. Maya shuddered, put nonchalant expression on her face and said: "Doors? What for? I don't understand: why are people so into doors nowadays? Like it was important or something…Honestly!"

Both of them got the giggles. This place was so ridiculous they couldn't help but making fun of it. Maya even wiped a tear and Hijiri got some trouble getting his breath back. When, after a while, they finally calmed down, they two were giving the impression of just having run the two hundreds meters sprint.

*

Maya finished her chocolate with two long gulps and put the mug beside her, on one of the tables pressed against the same window. She turned her gaze on the piano.

"Are you a musician?" She asked. Kirino-san smiled kindly.

"I…guess so."

"I love the piano. I rather like violin, but it's harder to find someone who owe one and can play it. But anyway, I love all the instruments!"

She turned her head and saw Kirino-san gazing at her in a really weird way. She blushed.

"What? What did I say?" she stammered.

But Kirino-san didn't respond and jumped on his feet and walk in his "bedroom". For a moment, the screen hid him and she feared for a moment that she had said something wrong, but when he came back, Maya was surprised to see him carrying a long and black leather case that he put on the floor and opened.

*

Hijiri opened the case, and in the molding protection covered with red velvet, the bright and waxed violin was almost smiling at him with all the streaking of its maple wood. Hijiri felt shameful for having abandoning it for so long. He gently took it by the fingerboard with his left hand and the bow with his right, and straightened up. When the violin appeared, Hijiri heard Maya gasp. He glanced at her as she was making herself comfortable on the couch, smiled and placed the edge of the belly on his shoulder to put his chin on the chin rest. He raised the bow and tenderly made it get in contact with the strings on the bridge. His eyes focused on them, he began to play. He had chosen the Ave Maria by Schubert. It was a beautiful and calm song he always liked to play. One of the firsts he learnt too.

Violin was truly the only thing that remained from his childhood, his past, and in a general way, of himself. Among all the lies he had to tell Maya, violin was certainly the only little thing that would always be pure truth. That may suffice to explain the emotion that made him quiver while he played. Too scared that the girl may notice his sentiment, he kept looking at the strings, even though he knew the song by heart.

The tune reverberated in the apartment more clearly than before, certainly due to the place's new layout; it bettered the acoustic in a way. It was an agreeable feeling, to be there, on the top of a high building, to feel like the entire town, the entire world was sleeping and that the only sound we could hear was that sweet melody. He should try to play on the roof sometime.

When the very last note finally died on the bridge, Hijiri held his breath for a second, to preserve the silence, and without looking at her, he waited for the girl reaction.

But he just heard a deep sigh, so he turned his gaze at her.

Maya was laid down, her back on the sofa, her head resting on the armrest's cushion turned on her left side. Her eyes closed and her breathing deep, she was asleep.

Hijiri put the violin away, took a blanket from the cupboard and covered Maya from toes to shoulders with it. He took his time to fit it properly, to wrap her well around it so she wouldn't get cold. Then he turned off the main lights and only let one little lamp in his "bedroom" on. The place suddenly became all dark, except for Maya, who happened to be lighted by a cold moonbeam. Hijiri slowly came back to her, his attention suddenly snatched by this silhouette laid on the couch, and squatted down, his face on the same level than hers, to observe her thoughtfully.

From the moment they knew about her, everyone agreed to say she was exceptionally talented, but plain. Even Masumi, his friend who always loved her, was teasing her about that as a fact. She wasn't beautiful as one would say Ayumi was, but Masumi had several other reasons to love her. Things happened, and Masumi ended up falling for that girl. Never, at any moment, Hijiri heard anyone talking about her as a beauty. That was why most people were convinced that she wouldn't stand a chance against Ayumi Himekawa to get the part of the Crimson Goddess.

Yet, as she was right now; her features completely relaxed, one palm on her chest, the other one half closed on the armrest, near her forehead like a baby, the darkness of her long and silky hair that curled around her face contrasting with her fair skin on the moonlight, her soft lips half opened; he had to admit it, she was breathtaking. There was indeed something in her air that was lovely and endearing, that needed to be protected. He felt the sudden urge of touching her, to brush his fingertip against the curve of her nose, but he fought this desire, too scared that he may break the soft perfection of this picture.

He wished the night would never end; that way he could keep gazing at her like this forever.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter**** 8: Vibrato **

The Ave Maria was still resounding in her head like the remains of a sweet dream. While awoken, she didn't open her eyes, to maintain this little moment of pure pleasure. The sun was heating her face, and it was really agreeable. It must been around eight o'clock…maybe nine o'clock…

She slowly opened her eyes. She blanket fell on the floor when the sat up. She took a look around her. Oh, right, she was in Kirino-san apartment. At this period of the day, the sunlight was flooding the entire place, ricocheting off the glass stair, making it sparkle like crystal.

Did she sleep there the whole night?

Panicked, and really embarrassed, she jumped on her feet. How could have she fallen asleep? She couldn't believe it! She almost ran toward the door and grabbed her handbag to leave, but then something retained her. Somewhere, upstairs, a violin was playing an air.

She looked up. Maybe Kirino-san was on the roof? It reminded her something he said about the roof. It was prettier during daytime. Curious, she reached the stairs, put a hand on the glass banister and walked up.

*

She came out onto the roof and the music resounded more clearly. A light breeze ruffled her hair, caressing her face with the soft smell of roses. Maya felt her heart skip one beat as she stared at the mesmerizing place standing before her eyes.

The roof had been converted into an enormous and luxurious rose garden. All purple roses, gathered into bushes, copses and paths. Some old-time shaped street lamps were standing here and there, as well as metallic benches and white garden sets. And he said he wasn't a prince! Like she would believe it after seeing where he lived. This place was beautiful. All those purple roses, it was like a dream. It was as if Mr. Purple Rose's very soul was here, in this amazing garden.

Looking for the provenance of the melody, she finally saw Kirino-san. Standing near the terrace, overhanging Tokyo, his back turned toward her, he played so peacefully that Maya thought he hadn't notice her being there yet. She couldn't move, too scared to disturb him.

She closed her eyes and listened attentively the sweet tune that actually seemed be in the garden, physically. She could imagine the roses, listening, awaking, their petals still a little wet with the refreshing morning dew that hadn't completely vanished yet. It was a strange thing, really, how music could make nature so real and alive just by existing. It was the first time that Maya had ever felt something like this. As is she could almost feel the roses' soul. Could it be that the Crimson Goddess was always feeling like this?

"Did you sleep well?"

Maya startled and opened her eyes. The tune was over, and Takumi was facing her, a warm smile greeting her. She was so much moved that she couldn't say a word, so the just nodded. Takumi went on with a welcoming voice.

"I'd told you that the roof was even better…during daytime."

The girl nodded once again, her wide eyes on the verge of tears. That view made strange things to his body, some kind of urge of stopping what was going to happen. But in the same time, he wanted it to happen. He felt like just one tear on that fair cheek of hers would be an intolerable, but also endearing thing to see. Before he could even thinking of what he was doing, he was already walking toward her. He came as close as he could, then, slowly, put his free hand behind her head and caressed her hair several time. Finally, before she could even think about recoiling, he leaned down and kissed her forehead. But the most disturbing part of this was that he would never have imagined his own body would respond to such a simple touch like this.

Almost immediately after his lips touched her soft skin, a rush of heat flooded his whole body, his hands began to shake and his heart to pound so hard that it wouldn't take long for Maya to notice it. Taken aback by this sudden emotion, he tore himself from her contact – which really shouldn't be that hard, what was wrong with him? - and stepped backward. It was hard no to notice the deep flush that had painted her cheeks and ears. And he liked that way too much. But, to make her feel at ease again, he managed to say casually:

"Breakfast?"

*

They sat on a white garden set. On the table, she found coffee, croissants, bread and butter, orange juice, and a single purple rose in a long vase. So Parislike. In front of her, Takumi took a sip of his coffee and looked at her in the eyes.

"I took the liberty to call your friend, Yuu Sakurakoji, I hope you don't mind."

*

Half an hour ago, Yuu had effectively been called. Since it was Maya's number, he had been pretty glad to hear the tune…and pretty upset to ear a man answer the phone.

"I am Kirino Takumi. I'm a friend of Maya."

"Yes, I've heard of you."

"You did?"

"Yes, of course, you are the legendary Mr. Purple Rose."

He didn't know why, but his tone was getting more and more aggressive. He tried to calm down. But actually he kind of disliked that voice, that way-too-young-and-deep-and-confident-and-handsome-ish voice that chuckled softly at the hearing of its nickname.

"Yes, I guess it's me."

"Why are you using Maya's phone? Are you with her?"

"Yes, she is at my place."

"Oh." Now he _really_ disliked that voice. "Can I speak to her?"

"Huh, actually, it might be a problem, since she is still asleep."

"Oh."

He didn't try to know more. So she spent the night there, with him. Yuu tried not to let his voice broke. Without really listening, he answered yes to Takumi's questions, which unfortunately made him accept to go to his place with Kuronuma. He noted the address and said he would be there within two hours.

*

"So, that mean you still have one full hour to finish your breakfast" Takumi concluded with a smile.

She nodded gratefully and tried really hard not to blush. In vain, of course.

*

Yuu knew this day would come eventually. Maya was nineteen; she was considered by the society as a woman and could even get married if she wanted. She had waited for this great admirer for so long, and even if he hadn't met him yet, just by listening his voice he could tell he was young. The worst part of it: part of him acknowledged the fact that it was great. Two persons who wait for each other for a really long time – six years, who finally meet and who end up dating: These love stories were really beautiful, and seemed not to happen often in the real life. But, even if it was selfish, even if it was hopeless, in his heart Yuu always hoped that when this day would come – the day that would show Maya in love – he would be the one she would choose. But he was wrong. She probably slept with this Takumi Kirino this previous night.

And it wasn't wrong. It wasn't something he should be angry about. So, when this person would open this door he was standing before with Kuronuma-sensei, he would have to greet him properly, smile, and whatever the reason of this sudden invitation, remain polite. Kuronuma rang the bell.

Maya was the one who opened the door. She was breathless, as if she ran the way to the door. She welcomed Yuu and her teacher with a wide grin and let them come inside. Yuu was immediately shocked by the hugeness of the place. He wouldn't have imagined that Mr. Purple Rose would live in such an apartment. But, again, something was wrong. There was too much of empty space and too many pieces of furniture against the walls. It almost looked like…

"What do you think of your new rehearsal room?"

Yuu startled and looked up. Leaning on the banister of a beautiful glass stair, a tall, scandalously handsome young man was smiling to him. He recognized the self-confident voice in less than one second and locked his jaws. He guessed right, but he had forgotten the wealth when he had profiled him up in his head. This was official now: he hated the guy.

"Are you serious?" Kuronuma exclaimed.

Kirino Takumi nodded.

"You can come whenever you want: from now and for all the time you need, please consider this place like yours."

"This is surprisingly generous" Kuronuma said, amazed. "But, why are you doing this? Who are you?"

"He is Maya's Daddy Long Legs." Yuu said between his teeth.

Kirino Takumi looked at him with an expression both curious and amused. Yuu walked toward him as he was coming downstairs to greet him.

"I'm Sakurakoji Yuu."

"Oh, you are the one I spoke to on the phone!" He remembered.

"It's nice to finally meet the famous Mr. Purple Rose!" Yuu lied with a painful smile.

"Huh…don't let me outside this conversation, please." Kuronuma said.

Then Maya hurried to explain the whole Generous and Devoted but Anonymous Fan story. Yuu notice that Takumi seemed pretty embarrassed then, his ears were all red. Maybe he was just shy and selfless, but Sakurakoji would rather like to discover something weird and discrediting about him behind this expression.


	9. Chapter 9

**Shiori's Entrance**

At the luxurious hotel, the party was going perfectly. Everyone was dressed up to the nines, a glass of champagne in the hand. An eccentric rich chairman was celebrating his son's birthday. It was just another pretext to get rich people to come and discuss business, and of course, the great Hayami Masumi had been invited. Lately this young vice-president was being the man everyone wanted to invite, hoping that they would be the first to get to see the beautiful Shiori Tamayama, his fiancée-to-be, holding his arm officially.

Here came the man that everyone was waiting for, and again, all the hopes ended up disappointed: beside his secretary, Hayami Masumi entered in the room all alone. The eccentric businessman himself was nearing toward him, grabbing a new cup of champagne from a snobbish waiter across the lot to express his frustration when someone whispered the name of Kuromuma Ryuuzo and get Hayami Masumi's attention. This famous director was planning to perform a new play and he wanted to know which. He listened carefully.

"…loose their rehearsal room because of the producer. They wanted to advantage another team, for the play Isadora. Such a shame, I was so anxious to see the Forgotten Wildness. You know that Kitajima Maya is doing the leading part."

"The possibly candidate of the Crimson Goddess?"

"In the flesh, yes."

The Vice-president could hardly believe it. Maya, his Maya was working with the famous genius, Kuronuma Ryuuzo! That was surprising, but wonderful. With a privilege like that, Maya stood a chance to win the Best Actress Award this year and fight with Himekawa Ayumi for the part of the Crimson Goddess. He definitely had to speak with this director.

*

"It must be hard," Masumi said "putting on The Forgotten Wildness."

"I feel that directing a show is much like conducting an orchestra, you see." Kuronuma answered. "The actors are the instruments, and to put on a great performance, you need great instruments. I've searched long and hard for the perfect instrument to play the wolf girl."

"I don't doubt that." _And you finally found it, your perfect instrument._ Masumi wanted to add.

Kuronuma Ryuuzo lighted on a cigarette and after a short reflexion he said: "Wasn't she acting with Daito until recently?"

Masumi had a joyless smile and nodded. Yes, she was, but it didn't do any good to her. She suffered a lot, being his employee during that time. Being bullied, loosing her mother, falling in love and breaking up a month later because of the amount of pressure. It was a dark time for Maya, and it was his fault. Always.

And now she was in trouble again. He sighed.

"I've heard about your…issue with your rehearsal room."

Beyond any expectation, Kuronuma busted laughing. Intrigued, Masumi waited for his answer.

"It's no longer an issue. All thanks to Maya Kitajima, and to a certain Kirino Takumi! You know him, I believe."

"Yes, actually, he is working for me. As a translator." He managed to said, even if his rage melted with surprise was making him quiver. "But why do you say he solved your problem?"

Kuronuma looked at him straight in the eyes before beginning his explanation.

"I've just started rehearsing but this girl has already firmly understood her character. My rehearsals are famous for being rough and there are many actors that do not last long…but her, she goes on like it's nothing. She is amazing: Kitajima Maya." He said, laughing again. Then he went on with an amazed face, like he could still hardly believe it: "And then, we heard that we couldn't use our room anymore. The whole building has been booked by the company that is going to put on _Isadora_. I immediately told her, and believe me or not, within one night she found us a new place to go. Her boyfriend, a certain Kirino Takumi, whose place she spent the night at, arranged his enormous apartment to make a rehearsal room out of it. It's even bigger than our former place!" He added, laughing again.

"Wait a minute" Masumi asked, trying to take a hold of the dreadful feeling that just crossed him. ", what do you mean 'whose place she spent the night out'?"

Kuronuma Ryuuzo looked up at him with an amused face. He finished his cigarette and said: "What do you think?"

*

A few days passed, yet Masumi Hayami couldn't get over it. Not only Hijiri, his only friend, managed to make Maya rehearse in his own apartment, so they would meet almost everyday; but also he made her spend a night with him! This director, Kuronuma, seemed so convinced that he was her boyfriend, why? What did he saw? What happened between those two during this night? Did they…

No, he couldn't imagine this. Just picturing them kissing each other was truly unbearable. It was too harsh, too sudden. Three weeks ago, when he saw them walking together, Maya holding his arm, he was thinking that things were going too far and too fast. But he wouldn't, not even in nightmare; he wouldn't have imagined that this kind of thing would happen this soon! This was just one month and a half that they met, and she actually spent a night in his apartment!

When Shiori walked out of his office, after having told him about things that would have anyway been boring even if he had bothered to listen, he clearly said he didn't want to be disturbed. When the door finally closed, letting him being alone at last, he literally fell on his chair and took his head in his hands.

Now that he couldn't send Maya purple roses; now that she hated him more than anyone else; now that his only friend left him, taking his only love away with him; now that the Crimson Goddess's part was maybe going to be given to Ayumi Himekawa, a young lady, indeed talented, but that he definitely didn't care about: what was it he was living for? What remained his own? What could he still care about without being hated, rejected, and loathed?

Did she sleep with him or not?

"Are you still thinking about Maya?" Mizuki asked, making him startle. He didn't hear her come inside the office.

"I believe I made myself clear about disturbance."

"Effectively, you wanted to torture yourself all alone, I understood that."

"Miss Mizuki…"

"Could you please take a hold of yourself?" She said, a bit upset. He raised his head, shocked by the authority in her voice. "Frankly, the only time I've seen you like that was just after you killed Maya's mother, when the poor child disappeared."

Like he needed any reminding of this dreadful night. What was she thinking? Didn't she see how unwell he was going? Why rub salt on this old wound? He looked away and tried to calm down. His breath was still a bit uneven but he managed to cover it. Mizuki sighed.

"Hopefully, you are Mr Purple Rose…" she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you remember when Maya couldn't act?" Mizuki began.

Here we go again, Masumi thought. Why was she being so sadistic? Anyway, he nodded.

"You kept her in your home for a few days. She even slept in you own bed, the first night. Yes, your maid told me." She added when she saw the incredulous expression on Masumi's face. He thought he was the only one who was aware of this detail. Aside from Maya, of course. Mizuki went on. "Just imagine what Mr Purple Rose would have thought, imagined and feel if anyone would have told him that Maya Kitajima spent the night in Masumi Hayami's home."

"It was different!" He protested.

"How different?" she asked, provoking him. "How do you know it was different? How do you know she didn't have some circumstances this last night at your friend place?"

"Because…he is…"

"Not worthy to be trust?" Mizuki said. "But you did entrust him Maya, right?"

"I didn't know he was going to be like this!" he groaned. "I didn't know he was going to fall for her too!"

Mizuki stopped. She looked at him seriously for a moment, worried, then said.

"But Mr. Hayami…weren't you okay with that?"

He raised his head to look at her straight in the eyes. Mizuki recoiled. His expression was so heart wrenching: so much pain and sorrow in his wide green eyes. He looked so vulnerable, as if he was about to cry. Mizuki couldn't say a world anymore, overwhelmed by this awful expression. She stepped back and looked away.

Fortunately, a big noise in the corridor broke the tension. Mizuki took advantage of it by walking out the office, to check on whatever was happening outside. She came back almost immediately.

"Maya is here."

"What?" He said, standing up immediately.

"She seems to be pretty upset. She wants to speak to you."

"Okay then…"

"Oh certainly not, Hayami Masumi: you are not speaking to her in such a state." She said, without realizing she was actually giving him an order. "Only a disaster would come out of your discussion if you don't take five minutes in your office to calm down!"

_Yes mom. _He thought for a second. But he actually obeyed and nicely sat down when she walked out of his office again.

The minutes passed slowly. Maya was certainly in the guest room. What could she possibly want to speak to him about? Maybe she heard about his conversation with Kuronuma. Maybe she wanted to explain herself. Maybe she didn't want any misunderstood to be.

_Wake up, Masumi; she hate__s you, why would she explain anything to you?_

When he was sure he was calmed, he walked toward the guest room's door. He heard some pieces of a discussion between Mizuki and Maya. Apparently they were speaking about Shiori. How strange, why would they do that? Masumi became suddenly upset, and even a bit shameful. He didn't want her to know about Shiori-san, which was utterly absurd since this girl wouldn't care about his private life at all.

"There is nothing better for Daito Entertainment than if Masumi-sama and Shiori get married. That's why Chairman Hayami is eager for it." Mizuki explained coldly.

"How about Mr. Hayami?" Maya asked with a tiny voice.

In a way it was really surprising to hear her say such a thing. It seemed she actually cared about his feeling in this case. But, she hated him, right?

"He said **in the past** that he will choose a person who would become an asset to Daito Entertainment."

Such cold words. Masumi couldn't believe he once had been so cold-hearted that he had been actually able to say things like that. But it was true. He had said, once, that he would even use a computer to choose the perfect wife for the Daito. He couldn't believe it now. He finally understood why he had been so hateable, why she hated him so much. If she still had this old image of him, it was a fact she would never like him.

When Maya respond, she had such a weak voice he could hardly hear it from behind the door. And the trembling emotion in this voice was even more worrying.

"Right…of course….If it's for the sake of Daito he'd do anything, wouldn't he?"

Masumi startled. Was he reading too much into the sound that voice was making, or was she sad saying this? Why would she be sad? She had no reason, no reason at all to be sad! Was it about Shiori-san? About the engagement? Or maybe about his behaviour toward his work? She wasn't making any sense, this voice; this sadness in this voice wasn't making any sense.

Maya went on, even sadder: "If it's for his job…Hayami-san…"

He couldn't bear any more. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Sorry I've made you wait."

He had a hard time not to frown when he saw her sad expression. This wasn't making any sense. She looked at him and said calmly.

"You do know Tsukikage-Sensei whereabouts, don't you? Please tell me then."

"Who did you hear that from?"

"Does it matter?"

Masumi recoiled. This way of talking, this expression on her face just now! She looked just like Hijiri. It was dreadfully unbelievable. He tried to cover his emotion. Since he didn't respond immediately, Maya got impatient.

"Why are you hiding Tsukikage-Sensei whereabouts?" she said, really upset.

"Don't worry, she is going well." He tried to comfort her, guessing her worry behind her anger.

"Did you meet Sensei?" She said, without hiding her worry anymore. Good: he didn't like when she was purposely hiding things or emotions from him.

"No, but my subordinate did. All I can say right now is that the place is The Crimson Goddess homeland. It's fairly deep in the mountain, but that means the air I fresh. It seems it's an ideal place to go to recuperate. There is nothing to cause her heart spasm and it seems she is living healthy everyday. It seems that an old man named Genzo is taking care of her."

"The Crimson Goddess's homeland!" Maya repeated to herself.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hide it from you. Tsukikage Sensei herself said she didn't want us to say where she was. Especially to you…until next spring, you weren't supposed to know her whereabouts."

Masumi saw a flash of fear crossing her gaze for a second. She got it. Next spring was the deadline. She had to win the Best Actress Award if she wanted to fight for the part of the Crimson Goddess. And she knew it.

"You understand, right. Until next spring…"

"Yes." She said gravely.

"In any case, it seems everything will be decided by your part as the wolf girl Jane in the Forgotten Wildness." He paused for a minute, and then asked the question he craved to since they went into the 'next spring' subject. "By the way, are you still hanging onto you 1% chance of getting the part?"

Maya looked at him fiercely and answered, really clearly "Yes."

That is how he suddenly understood something. There, coming out of nothing, like a revelation, a bright fire lightened his heart and made him understand something so obvious he wanted to call himself a fool for not having realized it before. He had nothing left to him. She hated him. Either he'd do something or nothing; the result would be the same. He wasn't Mr Purple Rose anymore. She wouldn't be disappointed; she wouldn't be hurt, now that in her heart, Mr Purple Rose was Kirino Takumi. That also meant he wasn't in danger anymore. She would never find out the truth. So, if he kept doing nothing, he would end up married to a woman he truly didn't care about. But if tried to be honest with her, with his feeling, with himself, if he made a move, what worse could happen? What was worse than being hated and ignored by the woman you are in love with, and married to a stranger?

He had nothing. But it also meant that he had nothing to loose. Now he could be totally honest with her without restrictions.

"Then, I'll also be expectant of that 1%" He dared to say, smiling at her. "I believe in you."

He didn't see Mizuki smile behind him. But what he did saw was the deep flush that painted Maya's cheeks as she hears him praise her. He also saw how she shyly looked away when she stammered a little "Thank you" with a tiny voice.

But she hated him, right?

*

They both had to go, so they more or less decided to leave together. Since Maya met this beautiful young woman, she couldn't seem to calm herself. Her body was trembling and she was feeling really nervous without any reason. She also urged to ask Hayami-san something. She waited until they were alone in the elevator.

"Hayami-san?"

"Yes?"

"I've met your…I mean Shiori-san." She said. She didn't know why, but both "girlfriend" and "fiancée" were refusing to cross her lips, so she rather said her name. Hayami-san didn't respond, and she couldn't look at him, so she went on. "I heard you were going to…to marry her."

"We are not even engaged yet." Hayami-san corrected.

"Yet." Maya pointed out.

"No. It's not like that. We might not engage ourselves at all if it's not going well." He précised.

Somehow, hearing that was relieving.

"But…are you two…going well?" she asked.

She finally looked at him, and blushed when she saw he was staring at her too. For a moment, she didn't manage to tear her eyes off his gaze and blushed even deeper. It was embarrassing to ask something like that, and somehow even more embarrassing to ask it to him, especially.

"Why are you asking me that?" He said with a bewildered expression on his face.

Why, indeed. She didn't know_. Don't_ _ask me something I can't answer you about! _She wanted to yell. Shameful, she looked down and said nothing.

"Maya, do you…"

But Hayami Masumi didn't get the chance to ask Maya whether she hated him or not, because the door of the elevator suddenly opened, making them stop talking as if they were both aware that they were talking about something no one else could be allowed to hear. Beside, sat on a bench in the wide hall, Shiori was still there, waiting for him.

Her eyes widened with surprise when she saw her boyfriend looking at this actress with such warmness and quickly stop when he realized he was being stared at.

Maya heard the beautiful woman calling Hayami-san by his first name, and that one little thing froze her. Shiori stood up, but suddenly faint. Maya saw Hayami-san quickly ran toward her to hold her before she could get hurt and then gently asked her if she was okay. It was the first time Maya witnessed such a kindness coming from Hayami-san to another woman. A big and icy hand tore her guts away and her heart, that was racing just a minute ago when he stared intensely at her, seemed to be vacant now. She felt like no energy remained in her body anymore. If she fainted here, in front of the elevator, would anyone notice it? Would he?

What on earth was this tear doing on her cheek?

*

Maya practically ran out the hall of the building. Masumi didn't have the time to hold her back, she was already gone. Why? Why this sudden change in her attitude? He helped Shiori to get up and they left together.

He didn't have the chance to ask the question. Frustration wasn't hard enough to describe is feeling right now. All those years, he never doubted of her hatred toward him. And he was always giving her new reasons to hate him as well. This whole plot, to entrust her to his best friend, was based on the fact that she loathed his from her soul, and that it would always be like this. But now, for the first time, he doubted. What if…

What if that night, Rei gave him the answer?

"_You don't know __her; you don't see her, the way she speaks to you, and about you! You didn't see the way she behaved starting from the moment she came back from that play you enjoyed together. You never noticed, you never noticed…"_

What if this was what she meant then?

"_So yes, yes it is true! Maya would have been shocked, at first, like anyone else would be! But, but eventually, eventually she would, she would have…"_

"_But…are you…going well?"_

What if Maya didn't hate him, after all?


	10. Chapter 10

**Brilliant Ideas**

It was an ordinary rainy afternoon in Tokyo. Everything was soaked, and umbrellas were hiding all the people's head from the clouded sky. The growing tenebrous city was welcoming all the workers going back to home, some high school student running under their schoolbag or waiting under porches for the rain to stop. There was yet, among the lot, a young woman that didn't care of being soaked, but that was running for a whole other reason. This teenager's name was Kitajima Maya, and she was so grateful that she couldn't wait for the rain to have the cordiality to stop soaking the ground to run toward the man she owed almost everything she had. Hijiri Karato heard her knocking on his door and received, to his great surprise, a drenched, exhausted, barely breathing, yet smiling like the happiest girl in the world that she currently was, Maya.

"Good lord, Maya, did you run all the way here without carrying any umbrella?"

"I did." She said, satisfied. "I had to thank you! I had to thank you for—for everything yes indeed, but today, precisely, for having—renovated our old theatre. It was so—so generous of you! Of course you are always generous to me but still! When I saw the theatre, yesterday old and dirty, now beautiful and shinny, with all those red curtains and the black carpet on the floor! And the roses, as always, on the very stage, which had have its entire floor fixed and waxed! It was—it was magic, Takumi-san, it was magic!" She had to fight her tears and regain her breath, but she couldn't help but speak her mind gratefully. "You see, before today we all thought that none would have come to see us—our play, and even—even Hayami-san, when he came—he said so too! We were all so hopeless! But then, everything changed when your generous move had been done! Now we all work with so much—so much energy inside us! We owe you so much—I owe you so much!"

She stopped, getting aware of her friend's unreadable expression. There was something wrong in it, but she couldn't tell. Hijiri knew something that Maya didn't: he didn't do any of this great—of this so marvellous renovation: Masumi did. Again, he managed to be more aware of Mays's current situation than him, despite the fact that they were seeing each other almost four times every week, less now that they got a theatre to start rehearse in, but still. He did it again, using his former self, his former part of Mr Purple Rose, to please her and help her. And he didn't like that, because it wasn't the first time, and if he kept doing it, sooner or later, Maya would see that sometimes, she is thanking him for having done things he had never heard of. He had to find a way to make Masumi stop. He couldn't let him put him in danger by this reckless behaviour.

They took a cup of tea inside. Maya explained him how difficult her rehearsals were to her. Everything would be great if the character she played was a dog. But the thing is, it's a wolf. A wild wolf, which got fangs, and wild manners, and that has fear of human kind in its heart, which had been tore from its forest, and which is scared and wild. That is what she can't reach: wildness. If it keep going on like that, no one would believe Jane seriously think she is anything but a little puppy. Hijiri began more and more cheerful as Maya was talking, and when she ended her speech, he said, teasing her.

"So, you need to go to a forest, right?"

"That's exactly what I need to do." She said.

"Indeed. Do you know what would be great, in a situation like yours? It would be really wonderful—really marvellous, if you knew someone—anyone, a friend, for example, that owned a house, somewhere in the countryside of the area, with, let's say: a lake, and a forest near this lake."

"Yes it would be great, indeed…" She answered, searching in her mind who could possibly fit this description. After a moment, Hijiri, desperate, snapped his fingers near her eyes to get her attention and pointed himself out with his index with an incredulous expression on his face. How come she didn't immediately think about him? Her eyes widen with amazement as she cried: "Really?"

He nodded and, to his great surprise, she dissolved into tears. Puzzled, Hijiri feared for a moment that he upset her in any way, but when he asked what was wrong, she only said: "What would I do without you!" And he smile to let her calm herself down.

They took off this very evening, and were at Nagano by ten, so when they arrived to the mansion, the caretaker were already gone, and hadn't been warned that they were coming. Maya was so glad to see this place. Nothing had changed since the last time she came. She could vividly remember all the days she spent there to rehearse for the part of Helen Keller, with a fold on her eyes and earplugs keeping all the sounds away. She lived those days in the dark and silent, until one day…

"Do you remember, Kirino-san" She said with nostalgia "When you came to see me this day." She walked toward the stairs. "I was here, and I had my ankle twisted, so I fell and then you got me before I could hit the floor."

Hijiri hadn't any memories of this day, obviously, but he did remember what his friend told him. "You used your hand try to find out who I was, and I had a rose on my jacket. You touched it and found out and asked if it was me, and then I took your hand to say yes."

Maya felt so happy to be able to speak freely about this moment. It was the happiest moment of her life. She could remember vividly, how she hugged him then and how he held her tightly. She turned her look toward him.

"Then, you hugged me." Hijiri said painfully. He could only imagine, Maya, younger, hugging Masumi, the man she hated more than anything else in the world. Somehow, he felt danger, mentioning it. Maya smiled.

"Yes, you have to forgive me for that." She said with a laugh "I was so overwhelmed by my happiness that I didn't try to be civiler.

"Don't apologize for that." He said and lied "I was happy, this day. That made me understand your feeling toward me, and I was really glad to see how strong they were." He told her his lines, the lines Masumi had written for him in his letter. Lines he'd rather not to have to tell, because they reminded him that the one Maya had always been in love with, was M. Purple Rose, being Hayami Masumi. Not him.

"If I remember, you hugged me too, this day." She said, laughing to hide her deep flush. But Hijiri could still see it. "It was the first time you hugged me." She added softly, and Hijiri felt his heart pounding so hard in his chest he couldn't help but do as it demanded.

"I take that as an invitation." He said shamefully, and then he grabbed her arm and pulled her against him to hold her tight In a selfish; childish way, it was a way to get equal in his comparison of Masumi's deeds. He hugged her, then so would he. He buried his face in her hair, and breathed deeply, enjoying its soft sent with relief. He felt it had been waiting to this moment for weeks.

However, Maya was feeling something really, really different.

Indeed, she was moved. Mr. Purple Rose, her great admirer, her friend, was hugging her, something she had been dreaming for since the other time in this very same place. But there was the entire problem. Because when he had pulled her toward him, she immediately expected that would come the same feeling, she same presence, she same strength, the same sent, all those thing she felt before.

But to her, now, everything was different. A complete different presence was emitted by Kirino-san's body; his heart beating a total other way, the way he smelled had changed, and his arm wasn't using the same strength at all. Everything had changed, and if she closed her eyes, she would believe that the man that was hugging her was a different person from the one who did it four years ago. Was it because of those years? Did she grown that taller, that he couldn't hug her the same way? Was there a difference now that she knew his identity? She couldn't tell. But that fact was, even as moved as she was, she couldn't help but finding herself a bit disappointed.

*

It was almost midnight when Hijiri drummed against Masumi's door, knowing that his friend wouldn't be sleeping at this time of the night. A servant opened and let him come inside. When Masumi heard that his friend, Hijiri, was coming, he couldn't help but feeling a great anger toward his presence here, in his house. Didn't he have any shame? Didn't he think he had betrayed him enough to be no longer welcomed in his house? But he let him come in and clenched his teeth, looking at his glass of vine, waiting for his arrival in the room. When finally he showed up, Masumi didn't look up. He couldn't. He was trying to put in order a sentence that would make him admit what he did with Maya the other night, but somehow he didn't how to start. Hijiri spoke first.

"Don't you have any clue, about the reason for me visiting you at this time of the night?"

At first, Masumi didn't show any reaction. He tried to understand what he could possibly mean by that. That should concern Maya, of course. That was the only thing that…

"Are you referring to the renovation?" He guessed.

"Indeed. You did it again. You played your old part again, WHY ?"

"Because you were too busy seducing her to notice her real problems, that's why!" He cried, finally looking at him in the eyes.

Hijiri startled. Masumi was right. He was unable to guess her issues by himself, he always help her about things she actually tells him about. But, what did he mean by 'seducing her'? Although his behaviour in the mansion was a bit suspicious, but how could he know about it?

"Excuse me, but by 'seducing her' what exactly are you meaning?"

"Do I have to be even clearer?" He yelled. "I meant 'sleeping with her', that's was I was referring to!"

"You…lost me now." Hijiri answered sincerely.

Masumi looked away from him, to hide his expression, and put his fingertips on his closed eyes. He was trying to calm down, because it hurt too much. Finally, he sighed and whispered "It's useless to try hiding it from me, Hijiri. I know that Maya spent a whole night at the apartment, a little while ago. How could you, Hijiri? How could you do that, after so little time! You barely…"

"Before you could go on with the melodrama, I have to tell you one thing." Hijiri said with a grin on his face. Masumi startled; was he really making fun of him? Even at such a moment, didn't he regret his deed? Hijiri looked like he was about to bust into laughter. "It's true that Maya stayed at my apartment one night, but we didn't do anything. She just happened to fall asleep on a couch, and I just didn't wake her up. End of the story." His expression was so truthfully that Masumi couldn't help but believing what he said. He felt a huge amount of relief in this chest and felt like he could breathe again, after a long and painful apnoea. But then, Hijiri added: "But if, and I said 'if', if we did do something this night, then what? What, do you think Maya isn't old or smart enough to decide by herself if she can sleep with me or not?"

"Hijiri!" Masumi said, shocked.

"You are not fair Hayami-san! You told me to take care of her, but when I do so, you get angry! You told me you were quitting being Mr Purple Rose, yet you keep sending her flowers! You told me that you were going to marry that whatever her name rich girl, yet you can't accept the fact that Maya is having her own life, choosing someone else than you! You are the one who decided of all this!"

"Yes, and now I see how great that mistake was!" Masumi yelled, jumping out of his armchair.

The two of them were looking in each other eyes, both horrified by what Masumi just said. But Masumi, yelling that, finally understood that he should never have done this; giving away his Mr Purple Rose part.

"I—_deeply_ regret this decision, Hijiri." He said, trembling. "I do. I can't bear it anymore. I thought I would be strong enough, but I'm not. It hurt too much, Hijiri. Thinking that Maya—that she does not need me anymore, it's worse than being hated. I'm nothing, nothing to her…"

Hijiri, even angry, could not blame Masumi for what he just said. Because this feeling, he could understand it very well. Except that _he_ didn't lived five or six year loving Maya tenderly. He could only imagine. Maya was so, so gentle, so sweet, and so passionate, that he could not imagine living six years protecting her without falling in love with her too. To him she was already…

"But…a few days ago" Masumi went on with a weak voice, his red eyes blinking. "She came to see me, at my office…and there was something in her behaviour…some tiny details in her way of speaking that gave me hope."

"Hope?"

"I think that she—doesn't hate me anymore, Hijiri."

Masumi raised his gaze on his friend, and the expression he saw then widened his green eyes.

"You knew?" He asked.

"Since the very first day, I guessed that it might be possible. But I didn't give much credit to it. Since there wasn't anything to do about it."

"What do you mean?"

"I know that right now you want to stop everything, Hayami-san. But I can't let you do that. Because, right now, if we stop, if I tell her the truth, she will feel she had been deceived, tricked, again. And that would be true, and it would be _our_ fault! We are _playing_ with her feelings! We can fool each other telling ourselves that this was the best thing to do, for her sake and happiness, but the truth is: we are just manipulating her and there is no other way to say it." Why was it so painful to say it out loud? "And she would hate me! And she would hate you even more and no one would blame her for that!"

Masumi stepped back and fall in his armchair. Hijiri concluded with a hoarse voice :

"Her heart would be broken, maybe forever."


	11. Chapter 11

**Into the wild**

She had a hard time falling asleep that night, worried about that weird feeling that she had when Hijiri hugged her that evening. But when she woke up, she felt like a fresh start. She got up from the right foot, and walked down the stairs with enthusiasm. But then, an old lady and her husband welcomed her with a gorgeous breakfast, which was a great thing, only that Maya was really surprised to see they weren't Mr and Mrs Tsuda, who took care of her during her last visit. It questioned her somehow. Was anything wrong with them? Were them sick? She asked while starting her meal. "Not at all," the lady responded. "They just decided to leave after this house's got sold to Mr Kirino. "But, wasn't the house already his?" The caretakers exchanged a glance, then after a moment, the old man said. "A-actually, Mr Kirino was just renting this place, but he finally decided to buy it for good a couple of month ago." His wife nodded vivaciously. But Maya still didn't understand the sudden need for the Tsuda to leave, but she didn't ask for more details, fearing to be rude. She remained, still, highly curious about it.

The breakfast eaten, the caretaker, who introduced themselves as Mr and Mrs Sakura, went in the kitchen to do the dishes and Maya was strictly forbidden to help them. So, she wandered in the house, gazing at the pictures on the walls – all paintings or argentics black and white photographs. In a sitting room, she discovered an upright piano and smiled. Mr Kirino couldn't live anywhere without a piano it seemed. She remembered her lessons with Sakurakoji for the part of Beth, and wondered if she could still remember the tune. By this time, her friend told her about his desire of acting with her on the same stage. And his wish would be fulfilled at last. Right, she forgot, that was why she was spending this week in this house. She has to success portraying the wildness of the wolf girl. But how to become Jane, where should she begin? She looked out the window. The whether seemed calm and even. It was perfect to spend the day out. She put her jacket on and left.

Later that morning, Mizuki was informing her chief about little changes in the Festival setting, when she suddenly looked up to Masumi and noticed that he seemed more down than ever. She asked him if something bad happened and got no reaction of any kind. The deadline was closer everyday and Isadora was still the favourite of the judges. What would happen if Maya wasn't able to get the Award? Would Tsukikage Chigusa keep her word and forbid the young woman to compete with Ayumi? This whole story was annoying her. She didn't like the way everyone was playing with Maya's life as if they owned it. M. Hayami, his friend, Professor Tsukikage, the producers. It was a miracle that this girl hadn't snap into a serious breakdown. What happened when her mother died was nothing compared to what would happen to any other girl in the same situation. Maya was really a strong person, with an amazing willpower. She didn't exactly know when she began to admire her, but those days it was getting more and more intense. But she had to ask.

"Were you serious, Mr Hayami," she said carefully ", when you promised to Rei that you wouldn't try to get the Crimson's Goddess rights from Mrs Tsukikage?" Mr. Hayami raised his head, stared at her for a second before saying; coldly "Do you really think I would give up a fight I began ten years ago just before some teenager asked me to?" Mizuki stared back, amazed by the sudden return of his legendary coldness "But, that night, face to her, you looked…" but her superior interrupted her wryly "I told her what she wanted to hear. Obviously, I will keep fighting for those rights."

"But what if she actually tells Maya that…"

"— She won't. She is not stupid enough to tell her best friend something that would hurt her indefinitely just because I didn't keep my promise. Now," he added cruelly between his teeth "if you don't mind, I would like to _think_ without being disturbed each time a silly thought go through your mind."

His secretary nodded, and left. She remained doubtful. She remembered vividly that night, when he drove Maya home with his friend, and surely he wasn't in state to think strategically. But she felt that Mr Hayami wasn't in state to argue about his unhappy love life, so she made the wise choice to stay silent and leave the office without a remark.

The sun set two hours ago and the stars were pointing sparsely in the growing darker sky. Maya could easily spend the night out. She lied down on a large roc and admired the cloudless sky. Actually, she didn't feel like going back to Mr Kirino's house this soon. She had spent the whole day walking, sitting on the grass, walking, avoiding the tree's branches and walking. She hadn't found a single fruit, so she had to eat the only apple she took in her little bag. She was on her own now. No provision, no cell phone, nothing. And she had only six days left to find out how to portray Jane, but even with one full day in the forest, she still didn't have a clue. In the now black sky, the stars were getting more numerous and bright. It looked now a lot like the planetarium.

_Looking at the sky, all those stars far away, it always make me understand how little I am, and how insignificant my problem are, whatever they could be._

Mr. Hayami…what would you say if you would see me this way, not knowing what to do. Surely you would be disappointed.

_I'll also be expectant of that 1%__. I believe in you. _

No! She straightened up quickly, surprised by a betraying tear that ran away from her eye. Why was she thinking about Mr. Hayami right now? And why was she so sad all of the sudden? She had more important to think about. She fell asleep during the middle of the night, tired by this first useless, yet exhausting day.

The second day looked difficult at the second Maya opened her eyes. The apple had been burned long ago in her organism and she was now starving. She looked up. The sky was now clouded, and she couldn't see the sun to now in which time of the day she was then. Her inside clock was telling her it was about noon. Her first goal of the day: finding something to eat. She couldn't find anything on the grassy ground, so she tried to climb a tree to get another fruit but she couldn't find anything either. She spent several hours searching before finally finding a bush with some bitter berries on it that didn't fully filled her stomach but let her wait for later. She really hoped that she could find something else on her way later in the day. She just had to bear with it for now.

During noontime, alone in his big apartment, Hijiri was prey of doubt. He couldn't stop himself from remaking the argument he had with Masumi over and over again in his mind. He knew it was wrong, that he shouldn't think this way, but part of him – the biggest part, wanted Maya not to forgive Masumi. He didn't want them to make up. Because he couldn't ignore the bond that linked Maya to his friend the same way he couldn't deny the fact that the day those two would make up, it would be a matter of time until they start dating, and this idea was simply unbearable to him. But most of all, the worse, would certainly be if Maya would happen to discover the truth. Just imagining her horrified look toward his betrayal was a nightmare to him. What had got into him that he was so upset about this story?

A clap of thunder made him startle. He looked at the window. A few drops fell, then quickly, a cold, heavy rain poured down the street, soaking the surprised passer-by. Hijiri sighted. _Maya…_

Maya hadn't found anything else to eat but some more berries. She felt like even her bones were soaked and her wet hair were making her shivering. She didn't know if she was cold or hot, the only thing she was perfectly sure of was that she was terribly hungry, and weak. She had to find a shelter.

When she opened her eyes, the night was dark. She was completely soaked, lied down on the floor. All her body was shivering, yet her head was burning her. She must have fainted. Her stomach wasn't staying silent, claiming for something to burn, but she had nothing. Her legs were weak, and she was thirsty. She found some rain water gatherer in the hollow of a flat rock, and she sucked it up with big gulps. She was now feeling a bit better, but not much. She had completely forgotten her notion of time. The sky was still clouded. She found a little cavern in a meadow going a little underground where she went, wanting to rest during the night. There, strangely, she found some fruits and little bones strewing the cold ground. She threw herself on the fruits, and noticed that some had already been bitten by other kind of teeth, but she didn't mind, seeing how she was hungry. She at and then, completely exhausted, she felt dizzy again and lied down to rest a little. Feeling cold and hot again, she curled herself, her knees on her chest, and closed her eyes, a shiver shaking her back.

When she woke up again, the twilight was letting place to the beginning of the night. Did she sleep during a whole day? How long was it since she left the house? She raised her head, her mind clouded by a dark and heavy dream. The fever seemed to be gone now, even if she still was feeling a little weak. She was hungry again, and looked around her to see if they were no other fruit, but then she froze. A couple a wolves were in the cavern with her. She couldn't believe her eyes. It was the first time she was seeing real wolves. It didn't seem like a whole pack, there were just four of them - a mother with three little ones, so it seemed. She couldn't believe the mother didn't attack her. Maybe she looked too weak to be a potential threat for her children.

Maya tried not to move too much, constantly staring at the mother, but still amazed by the young ones that were truly cute, like puppy. Crouched on the floor, barely breathing, she felt fully awake and full of energy. One hour later, the little family went out, and Maya decided to follow them. Behind the last wolf-cup, still crouching on the level of the grass she moved as silently as she could not to be noticed by the mother. By a moment, the mother found a fox, not too far and crouched before attacking. Maya was amazed and scared to see the fastness and the cruel grace that the wolf had when she got her prey that didn't stand a single chance in front of the pitiless yet beautiful predator. The night was darker than ever, yet Maya could perceive every single move, guess them, and feel them in the change of the air. When the fox got down, the wolf-cups threw themselves on it remains while the mother was watching over them carefully. Maya sighed. A sigh that she wasn't the only one to hear: the mother startled and raised its head toward her. Maya's heart skipped a beat as she stared at the wolf with horror. Just one second, and its head was just a few inches from hers. She could feel its hot breath on her face, and try not to take any sip of air. She squealed without noticing it, her back and her head were cold as ice and shivers shook her again, she couldn't help but trembling. The wolf was just in front of her, its yellow eyes penetrating hers. To protect herself, Maya tried to crouch as flat as possible on the floor. Too scared to bear it longer, she closed her eyes, waiting for the mother to attack her. But nothing happened.

Her eyes closed, froze, she waited one long minute during, but then, astonished to realise that nothing was happening to her, she opened her eyes. The little family was gone, and so was the dead fox. The mother spared her. She was at its mercy, and yet it spared her. How unbelievable! Someone really wanted to see her show upstairs! But then the rush of adrenaline that was keeping her awake those three hours disappeared as fast as it appeared, and she fainted again.

Her eyes opened suddenly and she felt completely, vivaciously awake. It was daytime, and she hadn't the slightest idea of the exact hour of the day it was. But she didn't care. It was a brand, new day, and despises everything that happened the day before, she was calm and relaxed. She was thirsty, and knew that she had to get up eventually to find some water and something she could use as a breakfast, but for now she just admired the cloudless, bright, fair blue sky. She could let her mind wander. The experience with the wolf, the day before, was the most vivid thought she had in mind. Everything else was blurring. After a moment, she decided to get up to start searching for her meal. It was, actually, the only thing she could do there. In this wild, thick and green forest, where she came a half week ago, she had the feeling that, alone, besides trying to stay alive and sleeping, there wasn't much to do. After an hour walking patiently she started to hear a lapping far away. Indeed, she found a river after adding half an hour walking. She threw herself on the water and drank until she could feel that her entire body was about to explode. Then, and only then, she raised her head, and paid attention to the incredible picture right in front of her.

On the river, slightly deformed by the undulating water, a visage was staring back at her. Barely human, the face was owned by a girl, which hair was in a terrible mess and dreadfully dirty, with the edge of her hair soaked, and several locks stuck together with dirt. Her face was showing an expression of high surprise, yet her eyes were blanks. The whole picture was exactly what one could imagine, trying to picture wildness. It took a full minute to Maya to realize that she was staring to her own reflection. Then her surprise got even bigger. This was her face, yet it didn't look like her at all. She could barely recognize herself, and it was frightening, in a way. She sat on the riverside, her mind completely blurred. Slowly, she remembered why she came here in the first place. She had decided to go out to the forest to be able to portray Jane, the wolf girl. Maya took another deep look to her face, amazed. She had succeeded. As she was right now, she was Jane. She had completely forgotten who she was. She didn't know when it started. Maybe when she woke up in the cavern and saw the wolves. Or maybe it started just two hours ago, when she woke up. She didn't know. But now, an incredibly great feeling of triumph was overwhelming her. She succeeded! She could go back to the mansion, now! She burst into laughing.

In his office, Masumi would have done anything to be able to concentrate during one full minute. He couldn't keep his mind from tormenting him about the dangerous imminence of the two rival plays. Isadora's premier was five day from then, while the Forgotten Wilderness's was in one week, yet, as far as he knew, Maya was still not ready to play her part well enough to surpass Isadora's super production. She might not be able to win the prize. She might have to give up her dream of becoming the new Crimson Goddess. And then, what would she do? Play other parts, while Ayumi's performance is on every lips? After been going through a failure like that, any other role would seem pitiful and worthless to her.

But he shouldn't loose his faith. After all, Maya ended up succeeding her parts. She had only a preparation period longer than any usual actress would have. And the fact that everyone was according to was that Maya wasn't any usual actress. Yes, eventually, she will succeed. She had too.

It took her the end of the day to make it to the mansion. Strange thing, she knew exactly how to come back. Four hours of stroll and she was there. Mr and Mrs couldn't restrain their gasp of surprise and horror when she walked trough the doorway, completely covered of mud, her blue jeans tattered and some leafs tangled in her hair. Her face, while dirty and soaked with sweat, was lightened by a beyond satisfied grin. "I'm home!" she scanned happily. The couple exchanger an awed glance, and finally the old woman stammered "W-welcome home…" Maya had a short breath, but she couldn't help but asking "What day is it?"

The caretakers shared another worried look, and the husband said "err…Friday, why?"

Maya widen her eyes with surprise. She spent only four days in the wild and thick forest, while she thought it was more than that. But her astonishment didn't last long, because all her attention got swallowed by the delicate aroma that was escaping from the kitchen. The sent awoken a pain in her stomach that reminded her that during those four days, aside from a couple of fruit and some water, she hadn't eaten much. And to know that soon, she would feel full, heavy and warm, was making her even happier. She sighted of pleasure.

"When do we eat? I warn you: I could eat an entire horse!"

The old lady put her hand on her hips and raised an eyebrow "And _I_ warn you, that there is absolutely no way that I would let you grab a pair of chopsticks in such a state. In the bathroom immediately, young lady!"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Träumerei by Schumann

When she woke up, it was around eleven in the morning, but she didn't open her eyes right away. She could hear the bird chirping, the wind caressing her face and the sun heating her cheeks. It was a marvellous feeling, and she wanted it to last a little longer before she would open her eyes and start seeking for food in the wild, thick forest. It took her a moment before she realized that she was laid down neither on grass nor on rock. She opened her eyes and saw the sky…through the wide open fanlight. With the also opened window, there was a draft in her room, which explained the feeling of wind on her face. "Right, I came back, yesterday…" she said to herself while sitting on the bed.

It might be almost noon to the rest of Japan; it still was morning to her. So, after a shower and a light breakfast, she went out for her daily jogging. She had decided to run all around the beautiful villa's lake, to take advantage of this bright, fair day. She stopped by the middle of her course to do her usual fifty abdominals exercises, and to shout her favourite tongue-twisters at the shiny lake before running again the other half of the lake around. She needed another shower when she came back to the mansion, by one o'clock. The lunch was ready; she was the only one missing. Mrs Sakura and her husband were really impressed, and let her wash and change herself before eating.

"Why do you have to do so much of exercises?" She asked while serving her some rice. Maya laughed and thanked her. "I need this strength to be able to act well." Mr Sakura was very surprised to hear that. He didn't know that actresses had to be that sportive to act well. Maya smiled and at with a lot of appetite. By the end of the lunch, Mr Sakura talked again: "So, what are you planning to do this afternoon?" Maya put her chopsticks down, and pondered that question a minute during. "I don't know, actually. I don't feel like practicing my character inside the house, but I'm a little scared to go back in the wood, so, I think I will just relax a little." When the old woman asked Maya what she was afraid of, she eluded. The glare of the wolf was still in her mind, she couldn't get it off. Those intelligent, bright, protruding yellow eyes that were piercing her very soul mercilessly: yes, she could remember them very well. She definitely didn't want to go back in those woods. After all, she got what she needed. Now she should just relax. Soon this night would be nothing but a dark, frightening, but blurred memory.

And she quickly found the object of her occupation for the afternoon. The upright piano was still there, and this time she had no objection against spending a little time trying to remember the tune she learned with Sakurakoji for the role of Beth. She laid her fingertips on the keyboard and began to play. The lyrics came naturally as she played. _"I see the grass blooming with pretty colours. So many varieties, what a fragrance! _Ah, I don't remember what's coming next._"_

She stopped. So many good memories were coming back. She could remember the lessons with Sakurakoji very well. By this time she had a crush on him. She laughed freely. This time seemed so far away now. Now Sakurakoji had a girlfriend, the cute Mai, and was a well known actor. And _she_ was a pretty recognized actress too, _dating_ a man who started to take care of her since this very play. "_Little Women"_ She smiled with nostalgia.

One would say that the Crimson Goddess would be her ultimate goal as an actress, but this play, Little Women, was definitely the one that decided of her future. It made her overcome herself. It made her get closer to Sakurakoji. It made her play in front of a real public for the first time. It made Tsukikage Sensei entrust her bigger parts. It made her earn her place in the Tsukikage Company and most of all; it made her meet Mr. Purple Rose. This play would always have a particular place in her heart.

"Wait a minute. Did I just think I was _dating_ Mr. Kirino?" She said out loud to herself, interrupting her daydreaming suddenly. She grabbed her hair. That was the big question. "Am I dating him? Li-like a b-bo-_boyfriend_ dating?" She never thought of it this way. Yes, no, _maybe_ she did, once. But she wasn't taking it seriously then. She tried to go over all that happened between them in her mind.

First, he was just a fan: her first, beloved fan. Then things changed. He hugged her when she was blindfolded, and carried her in his arm to lie her down on a couch. That wasn't something you do just because you like someone's work. To her, he had always been more than just a fan. Someone watching over her, rewarding her, taking care of her, giving her hope: she was more thinking about him as a god then.

Then, their relationship completely changed when he revealed himself to her. Then, who was she to him? How was he considering her? They got the habitude of seeing each other at the Lonlon, then at his own place. God, she even slept one night in his apartment! She couldn't count how many times she had eaten dinner or lunch – or breakfast! – With him. She took showers in _his_ bathroom after the rehearsals! He kissed her on the head, and hugged her just last week! Was she…was he…And anyway how was she feeling about him?

She pondered this question a moment during, and couldn't end up with a satisfying answer. All she knew was that she was finding him handsome and sweet…and caring and…that he was probably the person that knew her the best in the world, and that he was the only one who never abandoned her. She was grateful to him, and she was feeling at ease around him.

But, he was also from a good and rich family, his wealth was ridiculous and…she felt that being _with_ him wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be equal, because no matter what she would do, she would always be the one being given gifts, and him the one giving them. There was nothing she could do for him in exchange. Now she might be agreeable to him, but it wouldn't last. Sooner or later he would see what a parasite she is to him. No, it wouldn't be right to date him. She felt her throat go dry and her heart sank. She could be his protégée, but not his girlfriend.

She blinked to erase the tears that blurred her sight. She shouldn't be sad. It was the best thing to do, if she wanted her relationship with Kirino Takumi to last long. Yes, she should see it that way. She took a deep breath and reported her attention back to the piano.

On the piano was a thing red book that grabbed her attention. She took it. On the cover, the name "_Schumann_" was written with golden letters. She absolutely didn't know who that person was, so she opened the book and saw that it was only made of sheet music for piano. Schumann must be a musician, she thought. She noticed a bookmark in the middle of it. It leaded to a song named Träumerei. She was surprised to see that the bookmark looked a lot like the one she made herself, white with petals of purple rose on it. A bittersweet tenderness made her smile. The only thing she didn't know was how he found out that she made a bookmark almost exactly the same. Maybe it was just coincidence... Anyway, this song, Träumerei, had now all her attention. It might be his favourite, if he bookmarked it. She put it on the board and tried to play it. It took her almost one hour to be able to play the first phrase without failing. It was slow and awkward, but after a little of practice it looked like…

Maya suddenly stopped to play. She knew this song. She heard it before, but when? She couldn't tell. But she was sure; she had this feeling, this déjà-vu: she has heard this tune before. She tried to play it, again and again and each time the feeling was there. But she couldn't see when and where she heard it. It troubled her. She tried to remember when Takumi played it to her, but she ended up even more lost. Because she couldn't remember Takumi playing it : she went through all the days she spent near to him, and not once, she was positive on it, not once she heard him play that song. Yet, she knew she heard it before, somewhere. She spent the rest of the day on the piano, trying to remember. In vain. She decided to give up: she would ask Mr. Kirino to play it for her some day. Played by someone else, someone that perfectly knew the song, it would certainly be easier to remember. She went to bed early, to escape from her frustration.

She slept well and a lot, which was a good sign. She woke up at six at the morning, and after a shower and a light breakfast, she did all her exercises with a great energy inside of her. She did twice more of abdominals exercises and ran around the lake twice instead of once. She also repeated in her head all the scenes of the play, practicing her facial expressions and body poses. She also made a third tour of the lake, as Jane. She came home by eleven and needed a second shower. She was sure that her Jane was perfect. Nothing was wrong, she had the right way of howling, the right way of sleeping, of walking, of running, of jumping; the right expressions on her face, and the wildness. She was ready, completely ready to fight for the Award. Now she had to adjust her acting with the others, but this, she couldn't practice it alone.

*

When she walked down the stairs for lunch, she was surprised to see that someone was waiting for her: someone other than Mr. and Mrs Sakura. A large grin lightened her face as she shouted "Takumi-san!" She hurtled down the flight of steps, her heart trying to fly out of her chest. "Welcome home!" She was so glad to see him at last! She hadn't expected him to come this soon; it was a so agreeable surprise. She was only six feet far from him when she suddenly remembered what happened the last time they were that close – the last time they saw each other actually – and froze.

She didn't immediately realize that a scared expression was printed on her face, so Hijiri got more than enough of time to see it. This reaction provoked a cold shower to both of them. To Maya, it was more the reminding of all the bad feelings she had when he hugged her, and the long questioning about their relationship that was embarrassing her, but Hijiri simply didn't understand why she suddenly stopped herself from getting closer to him. Was she scared of him, or what? This was ridiculous. Anyway, he had to bring some consistent subject of discussion to make this awkwardness disappear.

"I came here because I wanted to be sure you was now out of the woods." He said with a smile. "And if you were still in there, it might have been difficult and long to me to find you, and I didn't want you to be late, so…here I am." Hijiri was pretty proud of his lie. The fact was he just couldn't tell her that he was so eager and desperate to see her that he couldn't wait any longer. First of all, it would have sounded utterly pathetic, and secondly he himself wasn't ready to fully admit it.

"Thank you, Takumi-san." She answered, blushing with absolutely no reason.

"So, did you achieve what she came here for?" He asked, truly worried about her success. Maya's eyes lightened and she smiled shyly, nodding. Hijiri smiled softly to her "I'm glad you did." He said. _Now you have a chance to win the Award. Well done, Maya._ "Now that I see that you are ready, do you want to come home?"

"That is not a good idea." Mrs. Sakura interrupted, her wood spoon on her hand. "You are not going to set off with an empty stomach, young lady. Neither do you, Mister Kirino." Whereupon, headed she to the dinning room with energy. Maya glanced at Hijiri, who looked as confuse as she was, wondering if they should just obey like docile children, when they heard the old women shouting "Hurry up! It's getting cold every minute."

*

Maya and Hijiri were sat beside each other, eating silently. For a moment, the only thing one could hear in the dinning room was the jingling of the stainless steel chopsticks on the china bowls. "Do you like it?" Hijiri asked her to start talking about something, but Maya said yes with an awkward nod and things became silent again. Hijiri couldn't stop glancing at Maya between every sips of miso soup. Something was wrong. She wasn't relaxed, which she usually was when she was around him. And what's with this weird greeting?

To end the heavy silence, one of the caretakers asked "When is it that you have to play your part?" Relieved, Maya hurried to answer "Five days from now." The caretaker nodded and asked her is she was ready. "I _feel_ ready." She said with delight, happy to be finally able of sharing her wonderful feeling with other. Her gaze relied on the Sakura, to avoid Takumi's constant and intense look. "Actually I've never felt this way before. I'm extremely confident in my Jane. She is perfect. I don't see how this play could go wrong!"

Mr Sakura stammered that he was glad to hear that, taken aback by the sudden intensity in the young woman's stare. Hijiri chuckled softly. Yes, that could be pretty disturbing the first time, he knew it by experience. He clearly remembered the day he 'revealed' himself to Maya, the stare that she blessed him with was simply…mesmerizing. He looked at her and sighed, completely unaware of the little smile that slipped into his face.

After the meal, they went up to Maya's room to pack her suitcase. Hijiri, while taking down the clothes from the dryer, noticed a pair of blue jeans with holes on the knees and torn near the ankle. A blouse was also in quite the same kind of state. Looking at them, Hijiri imagined the troubles she got herself into when she was wandering in the wood, and his heart ached with worry. Was she even aware that she endangered her life? Didn't it matter to her that she might die practicing?

Seeking for details, he asked, trying to be casual: "Why didn't you throw those away instead of washing them?" Maya grabbed the clothed to put them in her suitcase with the others, still avoiding Takumi's gaze. She stammered, trying to be informal too "Are you crazy? This—those can be repaired." Hijiri looked at her, doubtful, an eyebrow rose "Can you sue?" Maya laughed nervously "Of course I can…what do you think…or at least I can ask Rei for help." Hijiri chuckled_ I see... _

_Oh, that's just not right!_Maya thought. She couldn't control herself. Her body and her voice were shaking, she was utterly nervous. She shouldn't have questioned herself about the nature of their relationship, now she was reading things where she shouldn't. Why couldn't she just be relaxed like she used to be? If only she could make her heart stop beating this hard and fast, because right now this stupid race wasn't helping at all. She took a deep breath. Then Takumi chuckled, and she felt she was being mocked, and it was _really_ not the right time, so she faced him and barked "What is it that's so funny?!"

Taken aback by her sudden aggressiveness, Hijiri hurried to say is was nothing; you would do better to just trash those used clothes and buy new ones, that's all. He became even more shocked to see that this sentence caused a rush of angry tears in her eyes. "Well, you might afford to do such things, but _I_ don't!"

Almost immediately after that a horrified expression printed on her face as she put her hand on her mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scream." Ashamed, she looked down.

Something was definitely wrong with her. Hijiri couldn't wait any longer for her to explain her behaviour by herself, he had to ask. He took a long, supposedly relaxing deep breath and said: "Maya, we need to talk."

_No. Not already_. Maya felt she was about to burst into tears. Did he realize that she would be nothing but a burden to him? Was he regretting having took care of her for so long? Was he going to put an end to this? Shaking, she heard herself asking cowardly: "Couldn't it wait until we go in the car? The caretakers can come at any minute to check on us." Takumi looked deeply in her eyes for a minute, and then nodded slowly.

They finished packing up Maya's things, and then they went downstairs, Maya carrying the suitcase. Hijiri had offered to do it but she seemed to want no help. They thanked Mr. and Mrs Sakura with a fake joy on their face, both their minds worried about the soon coming discussion in the car. Maya took all her time to put the luggage in the trunk and it's breathless that she sat on the seat, near to Hijiri. This last one, once inside, turned his look at her.

"So, here we are: in the car." He simply said

.

Maya started to twist her hands, looking more nervous every minute, and seeing that made Hijiri even more worried. Something was seriously wrong, but what could it be? Fear began to take hold of his stomach. Could it be that the caretakers told her the truth? He swallowed with some difficulty and waited for Maya to say something. Which she did, and what she said tortured him even more.

"Maybe you should...start driving."

She wanted him not to look at her when she would talk. Definitely not a good sign. Hijiri started to prepare his future speech. While pondering about which part of his scandalous betrayal he should apologise first, he switched on the ignition and stepped on the accelerator. He let one full minute pass. Then he glanced at Maya – still focused on her hands and said: "Maya are you okay?"

"I'm not sure," Was her only answer.

Hijiri felt that his heart was about to explode. "Why?"

"Because," she said with a sad, husky voice that made his stomach's node even tighter, "You are going to tell me you don't to see me again."

She actually said it as if it was a question, and the node went loose at last. Even if what she just said didn't have the slightest sense, he was still relieved that she wasn't angry against him. But then he finally had to deal with this absurdity. He was almost laughing when he said: "You think I'm going to break up with you?" She was so illogical sometimes.

Maya blushed. "I didn't say 'break up', and it's not funny."

_Yes it is_. "Why, on _earth_ would you think that?" He was really about to burst into laughing now, this was bad.

"You said 'we need to talk', and stop mocking me!" She said angrily.

"I'm not mocking you! But...but Maya!" he laughed. "I—I don't want to stop seeing you! Actually I would rather like to see you oftener. I can't even _imagine_ spending just one week without seeing you at least twice! Why do you think I came back this early?"

He glanced at Maya, and saw two wide open brown eyes staring at his with shock. "Wha—" He break off, turning pale while realising with horror that he didn't just think those last sentences, but actually said them out loud. And obviously Maya didn't lose a word of it. He focused his attention on the road as he cleared his throat.

"What I'm trying to say is...you were wrong to think that." Maya just nodded, still stunned by the sudden and unexpected confession. "But you know" Hijiri went on, concentrating very hard not to park the car and run away screaming, "You were already...strange, toward me. I mean: before I said that we needed to talk. Like the way you greeted me."

"Well," she said after a hesitation "I was a little confuse...due to what happened five days ago. You...you hugged me, and I didn't know what to think about it." She waited for his response, which didn't come, so she went on "I was...glad" she admitted, eluding the doubt part on purpose. "But...I think we shouldn't...I mean it looked more than friendly."

She stopped talking, and expected a long and awkward silence before getting an answer, but Takumi went frankly: "I agree. I hugged you, and it was more than friendly." He admitted, still looking at the road straight in front of him, and Maya felt her heart beat wildly, but remained sad, in the mean time. Takumi went on "But what do you mean by 'we shouldn't'?"

Tears rushed in her eyes, but she had to say it. "I don't want to become your girlfriend."

Hijiri thought he just had been daggered in the heart. That was straight. Painfully, dreadfully straight. He clenched his teeth "Why?" he asked, while certain that the respond would torture him more.

"I...I have nothing to offer in exchange."

"Excuse me?"

Maya fought her tears, but after everything he did for her, he deserved the truth. So, she forced herself saying it. She looked at her hands again "You are so, rich. And I have nothing. It wouldn't be fair, and I don't want to be a parasite." She had say that really fast, to be unable to stop herself. Then she took a deep breath and went on "But...I'm grateful to you, after all you've done, all those years, ant I—I like you, very much, and I don't want to lose you."

"I'm...not sure I'm following you," Hijiri answered after a silence, his mind blurred by the addition of the pain of the first refusal and the pleasure he got when the last sentence came out of her mouth, "You don't want to be with me...because you are poor?"

"Yes."

"This is ridiculous. Maya you can't think that. There must be another reason."

"There isn't."

"Really?" He asked with hope, glancing at her. She was staring at him. He reported his gaze on the road, overwhelmed by a sudden wave of hope and joy that filled his chest like a deep and incredibly refreshing breath. He grinned widely "Then I officially declare that I don't care. You have talent, I have wealth: we are equal."

"You have musical ear." She disagreed.

"You have friends." He pointed out.

"You have a real full-time job." She said.

"You have curtain calls." he observed

"You have strength." She replied, stubborn

"You have agility." He noticed.

"You have beauty." She admitted.

"You have that too." He said to her astonishment. But Maya wasn't going to give up like that.

"You have patience!" She exclaimed. Takumi turned his gaze toward her.

"I love you."

She had nothing to say against that. This last sentence was reverberating in their head with echoes. Hijiri had to tear his look away from her widened eyes to look at the road. To Hijiri, it was the first time that he was actually formulating the sentence. Not once, even in thought, he admitted his feelings for Maya. Because of Masumi, and because of all those lies around this relationship, even if deep inside, he always knew. Finally, he smiled. "Give up." He said. "You can't beat this one."


	13. Chapter 13

**Mademoiselle**

The least one could say was that now, things wouldn't be the same. Between Maya and Hijiri, a line had just been crossed: the confession line. Before, he could try to fool himself, she could try to close her eyes, and just remain friends without trying to become more. They could have been tensed and suspicious, nervous while trying to cover their feelings, too scared to be found out by one another. Not anymore. He admitted out loud, in front of her, that he was in love with her, and there was no coming back. No cancelling, no memory erasing. They just had to deal with it. He loved her.

Maya couldn't say a thing. What should she say? What should she do? She was scared to give him the wrong answer. Beside, he was the first person who told her "I love you". The other times, when Sakurakoji or Shigeru confessed to her, it was always "I like you" or ever "I like her" said to someone else as an indirect confession. This time, Hijiri had looked in her eyes, during what seemed a very, very long time, and said "I love you." And this was a first. But, when she was getting really embarrassed, seeking for inspiration in a matter of good answer in case your benefactor and best friend happen to confess he fell for you, Hijiri sighed with satisfaction.

"Ah! It sure feels good to say it! I hope I didn't startle you too much, right?" Maya shook her head as an answer. He laughed. "Why don't we eat at my place, it's almost noon." He added.

Maya was certain that her heart just stopped for a second when he said that. Hijiri must have noticed it, because he cleared his throat and hurried to add: "I rearranged my apartment the way it was before, so I wanted to invite you to...to celebrate. Now it looks like an apartment again."

Maya smiled. She could clearly remember the evening they spent rearranging the flat to make a rehearsal room out if it. Especially when after that, they drank a cup of hot chocolate in purple mugs. She laughed. "You mean an almost wall-free, doorless apartment, right?" Hijiri laughed too. "Yeah, right, but at least it's not an empty floor anymore."

She agreed and he drove them to his place. He placed his phone earpiece and dialled a number. "Kirino speaking. Yes. I will be there within two or three hours, make sure there is something good to eat by the time I get home. Hum. Perfect. And I will have a guest. Yes. Of course. Thanks." He said and hanged up. Maya glanced at him inquiringly, so he said "I notified my domestics of our arrival."

"Y-you have domestics?" She exclaimed "I never noticed it..."

_That's a strange thing that he rearranged his apartment himself if he had workers to do it for him_, she thought. Takumi smiled.

"They aren't mine, actually, but Daito's." he said cheerfully. "Since I'm quite important in the company, Daito provide me with housekeepers. I just have to call, and they come."

_And after telling me that, you still think I will believe you saying you're not some kind of prince?_ Maya thought, pouting. "I didn't know that any translator could have all this..." she said sheepishly.

He glared at the road. "Let's say I not just any translator..."

Maya looked at him, quite surprised. He was so serious suddenly. Both his hands were clutched on the wheel as he accelerated.

When they stopped in front of the building, he got out first quickly. Maya feared that she said something wrong and didn't know what to do. She struggled with her seat belt and when she tried to reach the handle, the door suddenly opened and a big hand appeared where the handle was before. She raised her head and saw Takumi, smiling at her, slightly bowed with elegance.

"Mademoiselle." He said classily.

Maya didn't even try to hold back the deep flush that was heating her cheeks and ears, due to her temporally blank, inefficient mind. She just couldn't concentrate on anything in front of this bright white smile. He was doing this a bit too often. Dazzling people wasn't fair, he shouldn't do that. She awkwardly put her hand on his and let him help her out the car. They walked the few stairs to the entrance, and then Hijiri threw his car keys to a doorman with energy and demanded: "Park it carefully and bring us up the suitcases." The man bowed at almost ninety degrees and obeyed. Maya hesitated for a minute, seeing the man leaving with the car. "Is it really okay?" Takumi laughed and answered that the man was only doing what he was paid for and they took the elevator.

As expected, the lunch was on a well decorated table, and under metallic covers to keep the heat. Maya smiled. I was exactly like the first time they went there.

*

"And then, I was sure I would die, but when I opened my eyes...the mother wolf, and the young ones...there were all gone."

Hijiri couldn't bear any more details. He knew it; he knew she would act carelessly during this training in the wood. He shouldn't have asked about the daily adventures, now he was simply horrified. Hearing about her fainting in the wood, falling sick, eating food bitten by wild animals, sleeping with wolves and following them, and facing an adult one, endangering her life in every possible way she could, he was feeling that it was pure miracle to see her sat in front of him, healthy, alive, in his apartment. It was making him wanting to grab her arm, to feel her flesh, making sure she is not a ghost telling him happily how she died. This girl needed protection. She definitely needed to be protected, to be wrapped under cotton wool. They were safe in his apartment, yet he was still scared. While he was trying not to jump from his seat and grab her by the shoulder to shake her, she was cheerfully telling him the moment she had her marvellous revelation.

"That's...really interesting, Maya." Hijiri cleared his throat. "I'm proud of you."

"Really?" She said, beaming happily as he nodded. "Thank you!"

"But...next time...just be a bit more careful. Please."

She nodded and sipped her tea. Hijiri sighed and smiled. When she caught his gaze she suddenly chuckled and nearly died from drowning with a sip of tea. Dismayed, Hijiri sighed again. Endangering her life again. How did she manage to stay alive the past nineteen years? She put her cup away, a wise decision, and changed the subject.

"What about you...what did you do this week?"

"Me? I worked. I'm in charge of the translation of the Crimson Goddess text in Chinese, Korean, French and English."

Maya's eyes widened. "Seriously?" Hijiri smiled: he got her full attention. "It's great! This way everyone could be able of reading this play!"

"Actually, we might not be able of publishing any translation at all." Hijiri said.

"Why?"

"Beside Tsukikage Chigusa, no one has the right to use this play for any kind of business."

Maya dropped her chopsticks. She always heard about the fight for the rights of the play, but she never thought about what Hayami Masumi wanted to do with them if he would get them. "You mean that, if Tsukikage-sensei doesn't agree to give he rights to the Daito, you can't publish the text around the world?"

"Yes. Beside Tsukikage, I'm the only one in the world that has a copy of the original text." Hijiri saw her amazed and inquiring gaze and said. "It's just that it happened to be in my family. It's a long story, I don't know the details. " He lied. He just couldn't tell her the story behind this copy; it was too painful to him, and he had no idea of how she would react if she knew. But he also had the impression of hiding something important from her. Anyway, he couldn't tell her. Even Masumi didn't know about it.

"So, like I said: I'm not just _any_ translator."

Maya nodded and finished her lunch silently. She wasn't feeling really easy now. She always sided with her teacher without trying to understand anything. Mr. Hayami was so rude, and even cruel sometimes to get those rights, not taking Tsukikage's health in account, that she immediately made him stand in her mind as the villain. She understood the need of her teacher to protect her precious play, and she didn't want the Crimson Goddess to be considered as a mere product for billion of people to use, in a way it would be degrading and the marvellous play would loose its worth. But still, Maya was sure that if only the text could be published, and that people could read it all over the world, dreaming about it, like she does, this certainly wouldn't be a bad thing. She didn't know what to think anymore.

Once the lunch eaten, Hijiri fastened his hair in a short high ponytail, rolled up his sleeves, and started to clean up. The sink filled of hot water lathered as they bustled about the dishes together. Maya was very careful and tried to avoid the touch of his hand, but Takumi was not willing to easier the task. She glanced at him and saw that he was staring at her, waiting for her reaction to his frequent brushing. She blushed deeply and took another plate when she suddenly felt in the hot water a big hand grabbing hers tightly, imprisoning hers in its fist. She startled and accidently met Takumi's intense gaze. She froze and felt her pulse increase in her wrist. Too nervous to bear it any longer, she looked down and freed her hand. A deep silence settled in the apartment. The more the silence was lasting, the more she feared to have hurt him, so she started to stammer: "Look...Takumi-san..."

But she didn't have the opportunity to finish her sentence, because a thousand of bubbles flew to her face when she was lifting it. The bitter taste of the soap foam came into her mouth and she chuckled, surprised, while clearing her face frenetically. When she could finally open her eyes again, she immediately saw Takumi's bright smile as if he was trying not to burst into laughing and her heart skipped a beat. Then she realised she was being mocked, she pouted: "You...!"

She didn't know if the face she just made was that fun, but apparently her friend couldn't fight it any longer and burst into laughing: "Maya, you are so..."

"Don't laugh!" She screamed, vexed.

But Takumi laughed even louder, just before receiving a big splash of hot foaming water. Surprised, ha stared at Maya, who was obviously making fun of him too. "You silly little..." But instead of ending his sentence he splashed her back, Maya laughed and tried to protect her face with her arms, but fruitlessly. Beaming, her eyes closed, she suddenly felt two strong hands grabbing her writs gently and heard Takumi whisper:

"Don't you...protect yourself from me."

This sentence sounded like a begging as he lowered her arms. She opened her eyes and met his, surprisingly close to hers. They were glistening with sorrow in a disarming way and Maya couldn't help but worry. His hand brushed along her arm, caressed her neck, and stopped on her cheek.

Could he? Hijiri didn't know. His heart was racing; a warm, delightful pain was electrifying his whole body, clouding his mind: he couldn't think. She was so close, so close to him right now. He could clearly feel her breath heating his lips. A little bit, just a little bit closer and they would touch, and then maybe, maybe she would accept it. Maybe she would let him hold her, like she did in the villa. Maybe she would hold him too. His hand, still on her cheek, could feel her blood flow increase, rushing to her face. How was she feeling right now? Was she seeking for the same thing that he was? More important: if she wasn't, could he stop himself from doing it? Somehow, he was certain that it didn't matter, that it was too late already. He learned down a little more...

But then Maya recoiled and looked away. Now that he could see something else than her eyes, he noticed her glowing red ear. Overwhelmed by a dreadful feeling of rejection, Hijiri stepped back and lowered his arm.

"Sorry—"

But Maya wasn't listening to him. She was rushing toward the piano. She glanced at him and smiled mischievously as she sat down on the stool. Curious, he went closer to have a better look. The first notes of a tune came out, and to his greatest surprise it actually sounded like music. When did she learn to play? It didn't fit the idea Hijiri had of her life. He searched for a moment, in her life, when she could have learned how to play the piano.

"_I see the grass blooming..."_She began to sing. Hijiri was even more surprised to hear the sound of her singing voice. It wasn't exquisitely awesome, but it sounded natural, effortless._ "...with pretty colours_." She glanced at him, seemingly expecting something from him. But he didn't have anything to say, he didn't even know this song. He just smiled at her while she was going on singing. "_So many varieties...what a fragrance!" _She stopped singing and looked at him again, more intensely though. "I don't remember what's coming next. Do you?" She asked with hope. Hijiri shrugged: "I can't help you: I've never heard this song before." He was about to ask her its name, when he saw Maya go pale, her lips parting a little and her eyes widening with shock. This expression took him aback. Then, as if she was getting aware of it, she blinked twice and looked away, a deep flush rushing to her cheeks. She sighed, more to relax than to express her upsetting, Hijiri believed, and restarted to play. The notes were more awkward than the previous, but after the end of the first measure he could already recognize it. This time, she wouldn't be disappointed.

"I know this song!"

She immediately raised her head toward him, seeming oddly relieve to hear that, and grinned. "I can not play it well, for myself." She said modestly. "Please teach me!"

Hijiri was more than pleased to hear that. This meant they would be able to spend more time together, and this, this was priceless. He sat beside her.

"I would be delighted to do so, Maya. Though I only know how to play it with violin, and I don't have any piano music sheet of this song in my possession I believe. But don't worry, I would easily find one. This song is really famous, so I think I would find it at Musical Hours, then I would learn it myself, which shouldn't be so hard since I already know how to play it with...."

But while he was telling her that, he had seen Maya's face turning paler and paler, her feature going stiff and frozen, in an almost horrified expression, until, finally, she stood up and run away from the apartment as if her life was depending on it.

"...violin." He concluded for himself as, stunned, he stared at the door that the shut up violently when she left. "What the...What did I say? Maya?"


	14. Chapter 14

Isadora

Two days had passed since Maya ran away from Takumi's apartment, and now Maya knew exactly what to do. She was determined, in control. It was now or never. The deadline was nearer than even, and she was ready. Completely, definitely ready, free of any kind of doubt in her mind.

Though that two days ago, she was not even close of being calm and confident.

Scared, Maya was running as fast as her legs could in the crowded street. She was breathing too fast and to deeply, yet she couldn't feel any air coming into her lungs. Instead, her chest was painfully ice cold. She looked over her shoulder, no he wasn't following her. She sighed and stopped running to lean her back on the wall of a shop. Trying to get her breath back, she looked up and saw the name of the shop, painted on a little piano shaped sign: Musical Hours.

_I don't have any piano music sheet of this song in my possession I believe. But don't worry, I would easily find one. This song is really famous, so I think I would find it at Musical Hours... _

The clouded sky threatened the passers-by with its dark colours. She should shelter somewhere: a passing rain was coming. Indeed, the first drop fell on her palm, and it was getting colder, windier. She entered in the shop. Without paying attention, she let her feet drive her from department to department, from the vinyl records to the sheets music.

"Miss?" She turned her head and looked at the politely worried seller. "Do you need any help? Are you searching something?" Maya hesitated, and glanced at the compartment, as if she was searching for something. But she couldn't even think properly, it was as if even her mind was shaking. Her heart was beating so hard it was painful when she finally decided to say: "Do you—do you have Träumerei?"

"Schumann's Träumerei? Yes of course, what it is that you need, specifically? We have the whole of Schumann's work in CDs if you want. We also have all the sheets for..." The seller didn't finish his sentence, seeing Maya's expression, and his eyes reflected a sincere concern. She was dreadfully pale.

"Can I just have the...piano sheet music? And a CD of Träumerei, if it's possible..."

"Of course. Have a seat; I'm getting you that immediately."

The vendor went away, looking over his shoulder, perhaps wondering if letting the young woman alone would be a wise decision. Maya dropped into the first seat she found: a padded pouf into what she sank.

Four month. It's been four month since Takumi Kirino revealed himself as Mr Purple Rose. During those months, they took the habit to meet several times a week. All her plays were in his apartment, as well as her graduation diploma and her school memory album that she gave him. However, why was it that in the other hand there were so many things that were not fitting the pattern? She tried to think properly, to analyse those four months, but she couldn't. She was shaking, feeling completely lost. Only one thing was in her mind right now. A frightening thought based on nothing but speculations. The most terrible hunch she ever had...

But how dared she even think that way? After everything that he's done for her, how could she think that way? She must be the most ungrateful, selfish girl of the world. He had done so much, he gave her so much; how could she doubt him now?

But she couldn't help it, it was beyond her control. This...intuition, this feeling, was stronger than her, and it was terrifying her.

"Here, Miss."

Maya startled and stared at the seller. She realized after a second of confusion that he was told to give her the piano music sheet and she CD. The seller smiled at her and said.

"If you want, you can listen to the song right here." He handed her a headphone that she put on, and the song started immediately as the seller was walking away.

When Träumerei started, her heartbeat increased spontaneously. She definitely knew this song. But it was much more than that. Inside of her, a feeling started to trouble her. The song played so well, like that, the feeling was a hundred times stronger than how it was in the house. Her hands and writs began to tickle with anxiety. Her stomach grew tightened with sadness, but also with some kind of nervousness. Not exactly like fear. But it was strong. Her heart was aching, as if it was craving for something. As if the air in her lungs wasn't enough to breathe. Before she could stop them, tears were rushing out her eyes. This song was making her feeling like she was lacking something. But she didn't want to stop listening to it.

Was she right? To feel this way, toward this song, this song someone, one day played in her presence, this song bookmarked by a purple rose, this song Takumi didn't know? Was she right to doubt? Sobs joined her tears, and she cried loudly in the music store, holding the music sheet tightly on her chest, until her heart was drained of all its tears.

When Maya came back home this evening, Rei was first relieved to see her after her long week of absence in the woods. But then, after getting her share of hugs and warm greetings, the young woman noticed the pale and tired face of her friend. She took her visage in her hands.

"Maya!" She gasped. "You're shaking" She checked her forehead. "You're don't seem sick, are you cold? What is it? Tell me!"

"Rei...I have this...this dreadful feeling!" The poor thing wasn't crying, but her eyes were red, proving that she cried before coming home, and Rei was getting even more worried. "I think that Kirino Takumi is not Mr Purple Rose!"

Rei's heart skipped a beat. Here they were. She knew. No, wait, she was _suspecting _something, but how far she knew, Rei didn't know. Then Maya began to tell her everything: the Tsuda who left the house for some reason, the feeling when Takumi hugged her, the sheet music book, the moment at the apartment, the piano. She eluded the whole part when he told her he loved her and when he tried to kiss her, of course.

Rei tried to hide her horror. She was not stupid, and this kind of enormous lie doesn't last long, mostly. But if there was a time when she could absolutely not discover the truth, this time was right now. Because she knew Maya: she knew that this girl didn't have much control on her own feeling, and that it shows in her work. Upset, she might not be able of becoming Jane on stage, which meant no Award, which meant no Crimson Goddess. She couldn't afford to be overwhelmed by harmful feelings.

"And, I don't know," Maya was telling her with tears "Am I thinking the wrong way? Or is he _really _acting strangely? I don't know, it's like he is not the same person I used to know, that's why I thought that maybe..."

It was more than Rei could bear. She had to come up with something, now. She put a gentle mask on her face, grabbed her friends hands, and looking straight into her eyes, she lied:

"Maya: It's perfectly normal. That kind of things happens a lot in a relationship! During seven long years you were wondering who that marvellous Mr Purple Rose of yours could be, so you started dreaming about him. Imagining him this way, looking that way, talking this way...and now you suddenly meet him, and of course he is not like you imagined it! You have yet to know him. Try to see him as a simple man, not as Mr Purple Rose, and you'll see that it would be all better. So what if he forgot your song? It was _seven years_ ago Maya! People forget things! To be honest, I'm not even sure I remember it! And yes, he forgot that he had a sheet music in his villa, but what's so important with that? And when he hugs you it feels different? That's because you _are_ different! It was four years ago and anyway back then you couldn't completely trust you senses because they were altered by your blindness and deafness. And he...anyway: what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't worry about that, all this, it's just mere details. And again, it is completely normal to feel that way. But now you should concentrate about Jane and _only_ Jane. Remember that this is the only thing that matters now. Focus on Jane, Maya!"

And so Maya decided to. She smiled at Rei, and went to bed, assuring her friend that her speech had calmed her and that she was grateful for that. What Rei told her wasn't completely wrong, after all. There was sense in those words. And she _had_ to focus on Jane, no matter what.

However, the feelings remained there.

Rei's explanation had at least calmed her, which made her able to think properly this time, unlike three hours ago in the shop. In the bedroom, in the dark, Maya could hear her friend loud sleep. She stared at the dark ceiling, and started to analyse the situation

She had the hunch, that Takumi Kirino was not Mr Purple Rose. Why? Because he doesn't know how to play Träumerei, she responded to herself. At this thought, she remembered the song and her heart hurt for a second. It was mysterious, the effect this song had on her, by the way: a mixing of desire, emptiness and pain.

She also had this hunch, because this same song is bookmarked in the Villa, with a purple rose. So, it was logical to think that Mr Purple Rose would know it. Or at least would remember that he has the sheet. She also found strange that he didn't remember Beth's song. It was the first time he sent her roses, so she thought this play would have been as special for him that it was for her. Also, the Tsuda were not there in the Villa, and the new housekeepers told her that it was due to a change of owner. So, it should mean that the current owner isn't the same person who hugged her when she was practicing Helen. And, as if it wasn't troubling enough, it happened that she actually felt the hug he gave her different from Mr Purple Rose's!

Wait...It wasn't the first time something was strange in his behaviour! Maya held a gasp of horror. Now that she was thinking of it this way...didn't he look surprised when she came to thank him for getting renovated the old Theatre? And also...she put her hand on her mouth, keeping herself from screaming her anguish out.

_"It's not much, but I thought you would probably like it."…"It's a thanks for the box,"… "I really liked it." _

_"The box?" _

_"Yes, the make-up box you gave me! It is really pretty, I love it!" _

_"But, wait, I didn't…" _

Tears of fear were falling on her pillows, and she hardened her efforts to make her sobs as quiet as she could. Was it possible, could it be that the person who gave her the make up box, and who renovated the Theatre, that this person was not Kirino Takumi? That it was Mr Purple Rose, being someone else, out there?

All this time, she thought she had finally found him! Was it possible that during all those four month, Mr Purple Rose...

But the first time they met, he seemed to know so many about her, and Mr Purple Rose...

No, she was wrong; the first time they met...it was at the end of her last High School year. He introduced himself as Hijiri Karato. He also told her this day that Mr Purple Rose was a wonderful person. Was he speaking about himself?

But, the very next time they met, it was at the High School headmaster office, and this day she made the mistake to speak out his name, which he had forbidden her to. She could remember it because remembering this incident was always making her wanting to slap herself for being so spontaneous: never thinking before speaking. Anyway, she could clearly remember that Hijiri reassured her by telling her the Headmaster already knew about him. So, was actually his real name Hijiri Karato?

It was getting even more difficult to cry quietly now. Where was the truth, where was the lie? She didn't know. If he wasn't Mr Purple Rose, then what about this apartment? What about the rose garden? What about the Villa? What about everything that he told her, everything that he...

_I love you... _

He even tried to kiss her, for God's sake! Why, why! Did he love her or not? Was Mr Purple Rose or not? What was his name? She knew nothing! Nothing about him! What should she think about all those evening at the apartment, about the night she spent there, about the breakfast she at there, about the purple mugs! She liked him! Even now, she still...

The worst part of this was that she was not sure. It was a hunch, a feeling. She had no prove. She didn't even know if she wanted to get some. She liked him, he was nice to her, and they were going along great. But she couldn't stop crying.

If he wasn't Mr Purple Rose, then who was?

Maya realized then that she was back to the same state than four month ago. She had no clue about who Mr Purple Rose really was. She only knew about Hijiri Karato, if so was his real name. She also knew that he was somehow related to Träumerei. She might even have met him, the moment she heard the song for the first time. She had to discover who that person was.

But another question troubled her. If Kirino Takumi was in fact Hijiri Karato, if he wasn't Mr Purple Rose, and if Mr Purple Rose and Hijiri knew each other, then why ? Why would her greatest fan, her dearest friend, her beloved benefactor allow Hijiri Karato to make himself out to be Mr Purple Rose? Why would he let that happen?

All those questions remained unanswered. Maya was tired. She was tired to cry and to try answering questions which answers couldn't possibly make her happy. Rei was right. She should focus on Jane. If her hunch was heading her in the right direction, then it meant that Mr Purple Rose actually never revealed himself to her. He never trusted her enough for that. She was back to the same situation as four month ago. For now, she had to focus on what was most important: Jane.

Jane was running thought the dark forest. Outside, it was raining. A storm was howling, the trees' branches were shaking, and the vegetation was answering with anger. She couldn't stop running, even thought the bramble branches were whipping and grazing her cruelly. She had to find a shelter. The other members of the pack were already in the cavern, she had to find her way back. Alone, she was vulnerable. Somewhere, one of her sisters howled to show her the pack position. It wasn't too far, but she had to run, a danger was following her. It was getting closer. She had to run faster!

Far behind her, a piano started to play Träumerei...

Maya stopped. She looked back, but she couldn't see any piano. Instead, was standing Hayami Masumi in the woods. He addressed her a soft and friendly smile as he held out his hand.

_"Do you know this melody?" _

_"Well" _Maya said, puzzled_ "To tell the truth, it rings a bell, but..." _

_"It's Schumann's Träumerei." _

The storm was howling even louder now and Hayami-san turned round and walked away. She tried to hold him back, but she couldn't move. She couldn't scream. _Don't leave me! _Buthe was already gone_. _

The storm suddenly stopped. The forest was completely silent now. Only one sound remained. It was behind her. A loud and warm breathe; brushing her neck...she turned round and froze.

The mother wolf was just in front of her, her yellow eyes crashing her. She crouched on the ground. It seemed that the ground was moving. She was on billion of ants. But she couldn't move; she couldn't take her eyes off the mother's. Her legs and arms were numbs, she was trapped.

When Maya woke up with a start, dripping with sweat, her dream quickly vanished off her memory. Only the feeling remained in her heart.

She was alone in the bedroom, and she could hear the noise of china and chopsticks handled coming from in the main room. Rei was already up. But she wasn't late. She came eating breakfast with her friend.

"So" She asked while serving her miso soup. "What did you decided?"

"I decided to focus on Jane, as you said." Maya reassured her.

"Good." Nevertheless, Rei glanced at Maya to be sure she was alright. But Maya smiled at her innocently, so she calmed herself and at peacefully. That's when she remembered she had something to tell her.

"By the way, you, Yuu and Kuronuma had been invited to the opening show of Isadora."

"That's wonderful!" She exclaimed, delighted. "To be able to see Isadora, on the opening show! Is that an idea of Kuronuma-sensei?"

"Actually, it's from Hayami Masumi."

Maya almost dropped her chopstick. Hearing Masumi Hayami's name had made her startle, and she blushed without reason while finishing her rice bowl. Right, Masumi Hayami will certainly be there, too. She dried her sweaty hands with a tissue and rushed to the bathroom to prepare herself for today's rehearsal, followed by Rei's suspicious gaze.

She practiced, again, and again. Kuronuma Sensei and Yuu, as well as the other members of the team, everyone was astonished to see how she had improved herself. The director declared that she was now completely awardable, and no one could disagree. Not even Maya. Actually, among everyone in the team, Maya was certainly the most confident in her Jane. She knew she was perfect. It was an awesome, thrilling feeling of strength and victory, a first to her. For all her other parts, she always had doubt until the end, but this time was different. This time, she could feel it, she was sure she was capable of playing Jane in front of anyone, at anytime, in anyplace. It was as easy as breathing now. She thinks "Jane" and immediately, the wolf girl take control of her body. She was ready.

So, this day, when she came to the opening show of Isadora, played by the famous actress Madoka Enjoji, she was completely relaxed. She just had to forget the presence of Hayami Masumi.

"There she is, finally, the lady that won oven a guy as austere as yourself!"

"Onodera-san" Masumi said calmly, his date hanged to his arm "Let me introduce you. This is..."

"...Shiori Takamiya, yes I know. And she is even more beautiful that it is rumoured!" The complimented young woman tried very hard to blush, but she always had a great pain in faking modesty. The fat director went on cheerfully "And I always thought that Masumi would never be sensitive to womanly charm. Some were even wondering if..."

"Onodera-san." Masumi interrupted him with a smile demanding silence before the joke could go any further. His co-worker cleared his throat and searched another subject of conversation.

But actually, this very subject was everyone's lips in the big hall of the Daito Theatre. Most people were seeing Shiori Takamiya in the flesh for the first time, and everyone was agreeing to say that if those two celebrities could show together at such an official occasion as the opening show of Isadora, that could only mean that the engagement wasn't too far away. The reporters couldn't hope greater scoop and the flashes were surrounding them. Suddenly, Masumi saw, among the crowd, the two only people he wanted to see there. The two people he invited to this show: Maya and Kuronuma.

Maya was wearing a simple but cute dress with flowers on it, but what he saw first was the adhesive dressings she had on her knees, ankle, arms and neck. As always, she must have risked her body for her role's sake. He sighed

.

They were coming with Sakurakoji, which, for being the male lead, he had had to invite too. This boy was obviously too close to her. He was really making a habit of it, wasn't he? A warm, handsome young actor who knew Maya for as long a he did. A threat that was going to hug Maya freely on stage, once, twice...He really hated the guy. Speaking of threat, Masumi looked everywhere; there was no trace of Hijiri. Oh, right, he forgot, he had assigned him on another project tonight. Masumi smirked. But his evil little joy died when he heard the mutter in the hall speaking ill of Kuronuma, since his play had been thrown up by the production to advantage Isadora. He had to do something. As always, things would certainly come naturally. He just has to make a few steps and says with a bright smile:

"Welcome, Chibi-chan."

Maya swallowed loudly, and repeated to herself: _Be calm, and confident, answer to him the most politely you can. _But she was feeling so nervous. She couldn't even look at him. She had to. He invited her. Why? She raised her head and met his bright green eyes. She was feeling even more anxious, all of the sudden. He stared back at her, free of any sarcasm or bad intentions, so it seemed. Before she could fight it, she smiled widely, nervously.

Masumi was surprised to see that Maya wouldn't even react anymore, hearing her nickname. Did she get used to it? Instead of what she even smiled at him.

"Hayami-san, thank you for the invitation. I'm really grateful to you." She seemed oddly sincere and Masumi could hear or see neither hate nor hostility toward him, which was comforting and alarming at the same time. He shouldn't have left her to Hijiri. He should never have done that.

Hayami-san'eyes melted, to a warm, soft expression that made her mind go blank for a second as he said "After the show, there will be a reception to celebrate the opening. You are also invited."

This time she blushed. Why? There was no reason to be embarrassed. Masumi didn't know, but he heard the crowd mutter their surprise to see him invite her publicly like that. He smile and enter in the theatre take his seat.

Maya was first of all impressed by the luxurious set design and lights, then, by the popularity of the lead actress. When she made her entrance on stage, the applause was incredible. The show was amazing, Maya loved it. The story was wonderful and moved her to tears. But yet, Maya never felt scared, not even once, to be unequal to the task. Her Jane could compete with Madoka's Isadora; there was nothing to be afraid of. She watched the show until the end, amazed as always during a stage play, and applauded like everyone.

After the show, everyone came to congratulate Madoka Enjoji, which was already covered with roses. Maya would have loved to add her own congratulation, but she didn't dare approach too much. Instead of what she caught herself scanning the crowd, looking for a certain gentleman. She wanted to talk to him. She had nothing particular to say to him, but she wanted to talk to him. It was ridiculous. But somehow, this feeling was familiar. It wasn't the first time she was feeling this way. But she was too busy trying to find him in the crowded room to realize it. Suddenly their eyes met, and Maya was oddly relieved: He wasn't with his beautiful fiancée this time. Masumi came closer to her and smiled friendlily to her, a smile he she gave him back, to his greatest surprise.

"You shouldn't be so silent. It's not a good time to be shy; you have to sell yourself a little."

"I see." She said with a humorous smile "Should you invite me to dance, like the other time? I'm sure it would be fitting."

"Oh, was that irony?" He said with astonishment. "And when was that I danced with you?" He faked not to remember.

"It was after my Award for the part of Helen Keller." She was a little upset. Why was everyone forgetting her important memories?

"Oh, right! It was forever!" He laughed. This day he almost got found out, how could he ever forget that?

"Yes, absolutely, you're right, things are different now: today you _have_ a date." She said bitterly.

He stared at her, frozen, as his heart sank in his chest painfully. Maya took advantage of his lack of good answer to escape. Evoking Shiori-san had left a bitter pain in her chest that surprised her.

Among all the flatterers, Kuronuma was the only person who judged the acting of Madoka too shallow. Upset, Madoka asked his protégé, Maya, who just came next to him, to tell her impression too, hoping for more praise, which she got: "I was thoroughly impressed by the dancing and singing, but must of all; I loved Isadora's passion for dance. I had the impression to hear myself speaking of my passion for acting; I was completely on her side!!"

There were some surprised whispers in the listening crowd. Masumi, as well, was taken aback. He didn't expect her to make such a comparison. Madoka tried to make fun of her and said: "You must really like acting, to compare yourself to Isadora Duncan!" But Maya didn't see the sarcasm and said with force "Yes, I love it! And every line was like an echo in my heart, it was amazing!" And Madoka, attacking again: "_Every line_, she said! You cannot remember all the line of this play, can you?" But everyone was shocked to see Maya nodding happily to that mockery. The whispering got louder around them. She did remember the whole thing. Masumi choose this perfect moment to come and ask. "Then...which part did you prefer?"

Maya pondered the question during a moment, and then she said she would choose the final scene. That's how Masumi ended up asking her to act the scene out in front of everyone in the room. First, Maya wasn't sure; it was not a good time, everyone was watching, it wouldn't be polite, but then Masumi Hayami said.

"So, you lied when you said you memorized all the lines!"

"No!" she exclaimed, shocked.

"Then why don't you show us?"

The entire room was silent; nobody dared to breath, and watched Maya's reaction. She closed her eyes, and concentrated. At this moment, on stage, Madoka was acting like...this.

Maya straightened up and raised her heard with elegance. _"I danced for the first time in a cradle! I was waving my little hands and feet on the sound coming from the music! Now as then...dance is all I have...nothing else!"_ She took off her shoes with grace and held them tightly on her chest. _"Now as then...I am bare-footed. And everything has gone away. Happiness and sadness, pleasure and pain...love and hate...they've gone away, dancing from my heart. Even now, I'm dancing. Why? For what purpose? Because it's my life! I'm sure I'll go on dancing until the moment I die!" _She fell gracefully on the floor, still holding her shoes. Doubt was obvious on her face, but she wasn't Maya now. _"What shall I feel on the verge of death? Sadness? Fear? Pain? Or a happiness that will ease me? Near the end..."_ A flash of fear lightened her eyes as she raised her head, despite the fact that at this exact moment Madoka had leaned it down with sadness during the play. "_How should I dance then?" _Then, her scene ended, and Maya came out to reality and put her shoes on, thanking the stunned audience for its attention.

Then the Chairman of the Hoshika productions came to her and asked: "Why did you interpret differently from Enjoji-san at the end?" When Maya said that it was just because she felt like it, the old man seemed impressed and satisfied at once. The crowd started to mutter again, mostly to compare Maya's performance to Madoka's, and many were who preferred Maya's.

"She didn't have a single mistake in the lines, she really remembered them all!" exclaimed someone.

"As expected of the former winner of the Best Supporting Actress Award in the Academy Festival, don't you think?" Masumi said out loud with a bright smile. "Good Job, Maya Kitajima!"

Maya startled. She just remembered something. "You!" She couldn't believe she fell in such a trap this easily! She got closer to him and said with a low voice "You did this to make me sell myself, as you whished to!" Masumi laughed happily, which made her heart stop for a moment. "Yes, and let me insist: you made a great job!" She blushed with anger. Yet, she felt in her stomach something moving frenetically. She was strangely excited and wasn't sure whether she was angry or about to burst into laughing. "I would let you know that I don't think I absolutely need to do that to get an Award!"

This time, Masumi was the one who startled. He didn't expect such a confidence from her. Maya was normally shy and lacked of confidence. It was, according to Tsukikage, her biggest weakness. And yet, here she was, outrageously confident of winning an Award, before everyone else. If this wasn't an invitation, then nothing would be. He smiled.

"Does that mean that you succeeded in portraying your character?"

Maya glanced at the crowded room, which was lapping up everything they were saying again, smiled and looked at Masumi straight in the eyes, saying:

"I did. She is _perfect_."

The whole room commented her confidence, seeking for more show. Masumi, astonished, felt that he admired her even more than before. Not only was she confident, but she was obviously inviting him to make her prove her ability in front of everyone.

She was crazy. But she couldn't help it. She could hear the audience muttering about the Forgotten Wilderness. Oddly, she was feeling secure here, speaking to Masumi Hayami. As if nothing could happen to her in his presence. He wants to play; let's play! She wanted to do it with him, to do as he would say. She wanted to dance with him. All her former worries, her doubts, her fears, everything was long gone. She was certain of what she was doing. Better: she was enjoying it. To her greatest pleasure, Masumi went along with her.

"Then, if your character is so perfect, why don't you give us a demonstration, Chibi-chan? Come on; show us your wolf girl, Jane!"

Yes! Well done, Hayami-san! It was just what she needed. She was about to go on he knees when Sakurakoji tried to interfere, and again, Hayami-san did the exact right thing by pushing him away firmly. Then Maya went down on her knees and closed her eyes.

"Jane!" Masumi called her, and when she opened her eyes, they were wild.

The audience couldn't believe it. Maya Kitajima, the same girl who just played the beautiful and elegant Isadora Duncan, was now a wolf-girl.

Masumi smiled coldly:

"You look just like a wolf, now...then let's give you something to eat!" He politely took a chicken wing that a waiter had in a plate and show it to the wolf girl. He had now all her attention. Jane was about to grab it when Masumi smirked and threw the wing away.

"You are more suited to be a wolf girl than Isadora." He said "Come on; go get it, wolf girl. That's your food! Oh but...maybe you don't like spiced chicken?"

The whole assistance laughed to his joke. Maya understood. He was trying to humiliate Jane, to upset her. She had to go along with him, to fit his acting. It was a play. They both were acting. _Okay, you want me to get upset...then let's get upset. _She clenched her fists and teeth, and a strange guttural growl came out of her throat, powered by her stomach. She was not even forcing herself into it. Jane was angry, and this sound was the first thing she felt like to do._ As a warning: don't mess with me. _

Now, nobody was laughing. Nobody was breathing too loudly. Everybody was watching, wondering if what's happening in front of them was really acting. Masumi smiled. She was completely following him, a feeling he enjoyed a lot too much: "Finally things are becoming interesting." He put off his jacket and wrapped it around his arm. He shook it before Jane, to provoke her.

"Come on! Jane!"

Sakurakoji wanted to interfere, but Kuronuma commended him to wait and see. The photographs were overjoyed. The Daito Vice-President fighting with Kuronuma's wolf girl at Isadora's opening show. That was definitely a headline! Flashes were surrounding them, while the audience was growing more interested by the incoming show.

Kuronuma couldn't believe his eyes. Could it be that Masumi Hayami was actually advantaging their show by making publicity on purpose, putting his own image in the risk? All those two had to do now, was to go along with each other, and to improvise this happening into a great show. If they could do that, then the Forgotten Wilderness would get audience. Maya would get an Award. Was it possible that Masumi Hayami calculated all this?

"Come on!" Masumi said to Jane "What's wrong, wolf girl? Your food is on the floor! If you want it, try to take it!" Then, Masumi swished his jacket toward Jane, but she dodged it, again, and again each time he was trying, making him almost loses his balance. Then, Mausmi swished the jacket at the same moment when Jane leaped to get it, and his thigh accidentally hit her belly quite hard. But she landed with agility like a real animal. Masumi was shocked. If she was in pain, she wasn't showing it. Instead, she seemed more upset than ever, and her growling became louder and angrier. Her eyes were reflecting a deep, absolute wildness. She was no longer human. Jane was truly looking at them.

"That's it!" Kuronuma exclaimed out of joy. "That's Jane's face! You did it, Kitajima!"

"Sensei..."

"Sakurakoji, I appreciate you, but if you stop them I swear to God I will punch your light out!"

Jane dashed herself toward the chicken wing, but at the last moment, Masumi kicked the meat out of the way. Jane tried to get it again, but with a swish of his jacket, Masumi got the food away again. Jane threw herself in the new direction, but this time, Masumi slapped her face violently, and Jane fell on her back. She didn't scream, or say anything, but her pain was obvious. Masumi feared for a second that he hit her too hard. But she finally sat up and glared at him, her growling showing her teeth.

"Maya-chan!" Sakurakoji screamed, and he came closer to check on her. Kuronuma grabbed an ashtray and held it up, threatening Yuu to throw it at his face. "I told you: do NOT interfere with her!"

Masumi smirked at him. "Exactly: People who are not involved should get out of the way, Sakurakoji Yuu!"

Shocked, Yuu backed away, still staring at Maya that could temporally not hear him.

Jane was making Maya into getting upset very badly. She got up on her four paws and roared furiously, glaring at Masumi who was mostly relieved to see she was alright, but also impressed. "Alright, that's the spirit. Come! Jane!"

But when she dashed herself to her food, Masumi quickly picked it up and threw it behind him. The wing dropped on the top of a flight of steps. The only way to get the food was now to pass through Masumi Hayami, who was purposely standing in the way. 'Go on, what's the matter? Your meal is at the top of the stairs!"

_Be careful, Hayami-san, I'm not a human being. Things could get very ugly if you go on like that. _

"Or will you run away with you tail between your legs? Oops, you don't have a tail, do you?" And then he burst into laughing. Which was more than Jane could bear. Shaking with anger, she decided to end this one and for all. She dashed toward Masumi, dodged the jacked, and reached the hand that was holding it, which she bit as hard as she could. She clearly heard Masumi trying to suppress a moan of pain, and she tasted something warm, salted and metallic in her mouth. Masumi dropped his jacked, which she grabbed with her teeth before dashing herself with agility toward her goal.

At this very moment, instead of a young actress, everyone could clearly see before their eyes, a true wild and agile wolf. This illusion made the audience gasp.

She turned round, facing an astonished Masumi Hayami, and let go of the jacket. She dared him with her eyes, doing to Masumi, without even realizing it, exactly as the mother wolf did to her. She dared him with her two wide opened wild eyes. Seeing that he wouldn't move, she got up the stairs with grace, in the respectfully silent room, and protecting the chicken wing between her four paws, she dared the audience, in a glare clearly saying: _It's mine._

Then her glare went to Masumi, who had his friendly smile back on his face. "Well done, Chibi-chan, you won."

Jane blinked, and Maya appeared back. She straightened herself on her own two feet. The show was done, and Kuronuma quickly had to deal with the numerous reporters that wanted to know more about the Forgotten Wilderness. Fortunately, no one was paying attention to Maya and Masumi anymore.

Time had stopped. A great euphoria was overwhelming her but she couldn't move for now. She feared that she would faint if she tried to walk down the stair by herself right now. Taking her breathe back, she couldn't stop staring at Masumi, mostly because he was staring back at her, his wide eyes absorbing her with their warm and joyful expression. A wide smile was painted on his face, and Maya was only half-aware of the fact that she was grinning like a silly too. She was feeling like her heart was light and filled with warmth and electricity, which at every beat was being delivered to her entire body. She was feeling dizzy, a really agreeable thing to feel. A sensation of triumph and joy she only remembered feeling while she was on stage, and after and play. But this time, this had nothing to do with acting. Not even with her performance of Jane right now. She was just feeling...happy. And for the first time, she wanted to share this feeling with someone else. But not just anyone: Hayami-san. It had to be him. She wanted to thank him, to express her great happiness to him right now.

The weirdest thing was she had the impression that he was feeling the same way. His eyes were glowering with the same level of pleasure and joy as hers. Was he feeling happy? Was he as happy as her right now? She had never seen such an expression on his face. Her heart was certainly about to explode, and her to burst into laughing. Was it the same for him? She wanted to know. As if they were thinking the same thing at the same time, they started to walk toward each other, but then, suddenly...

"Masumi-sama!" said a soft and worried voice. "You're bleeding!"

Shiori rushed toward her beloved one with an obvious concern. It's only then that the two ex-partners paid attention to the bleeding wound Masumi had on his hand. Maya was on a guilt trip. His blood was still on her tongue. Masumi glanced at Shiori and reassured her, but she wouldn't listen and insisted to bondage his hand with her handkerchief. "But..." Masumi glanced at Maya who looked away as soon as their eyes met, and his heartbeat increased with worry. What was this expression just now? She was so happy, but as soon as Shiori came up her face completely changed. It wasn't exactly the first time, thought. Last time, when they came out of the elevator and that Shiori was waiting for him, she cried and ran away.

"There, it's done. You should come with me, now, Masumi-sama. There are many reporters here..."

While taking Masumi away, she glared at Maya who startled with surprise and her gaze followed them. Sakurakoji came across the lot to nearer to her. A change in her look had alarmed him. "Maya, Are you okay?" But Maya didn't answer him "You're pale...and your hands are shaking. Did you hurt yourself?" But he got no answer but her gaze following the President Hayami.

She could hear Yuu's voice, but his words were meaningless. Her mind was blank. She couldn't move. This feeling... She had felt it before. Now she realized it. All those things she felt today, added to the sadness and pain she was suffering right now...all those emotions...Masumi just disappeared in the crowd but she didn't wanted him to leave the place. It was like she was left in an unfinished conversation, and completely left behind. She almost _missed_ him. A lack of something, added to a desire and a suffering. That was it! That was this feeling she felt before! That was the feeling she felt listening Träumerei! Not when she heard it on the CD, not even in the Villa, but when she listened to it for the first time. She found it! The person who played Träumerei, that person was Masumi Hayami!

It was during the time when she was living at Ayumi's place, in order to grasp the heart of Aldis, the beautiful princess living with happiness in a great castle. One day, she heard a piano in a living room, so she walked down the stairs to see who was home.

_"You can play the piano, Hayami-san?" _

_"I learned when I was a child. Do you know this melody?" _

_"Hum...well, to be honest it rings a bell but..." _

_"It's Schumann's Träumerei. Now I can only play this..." _

All this time, the song was reminding her Hayami Masumi! That was him: this person. Maya's heart stopped.

Mr Purple Rose.


	15. Chapter 15

**B****ewilderment**

Even at this late hour, the Tokyo's mid-town streets were crowded. Barely out of the Shibuya Theatre's main building, which belonged to the ISDC chain (International Stage of Daito Corporation), was Maya alone walking in the crown that was hurrying up in the large Shibuya's streets. From the 109 Tour was a great clamour rising, due to the hundreds of girls that, while squeezing themselves against the doors, were waiting for the latest fashion items to be put on the shelves at midnight. In other circumstances, this view of urban madness would have made her laugh, but her heart was full of a dreadful bitterness as she was heading to the nearest subway station, her arms holding her abdomen.

"Maya...Maya, are you crying?"

Yuu had put his strong hand on her arm, and she had pushed it with more vigour than she had wanted to.

"Leave me alone!"

The expression of his eyes then had been a mixture of concern and surprise, and she ran away.

Nothing was real. Everything she believed in, all those she was trusting never did but lying to her. Was it a single truth in all the things she heard those past four months? What about Takumi? Who was he really? Oh, how hard it was to think now! Masumi Hayami just offered her a wonderful publicity, she never felt so happy than since Takumi Kirino invited her to diner, and the simple thought of seeing them again, either of them, was making her heart go helplessly crazy. But nothing could justify, or legitimate such a betrayal: to actually make an impostor out to be the man she had always been so eager to meet! How much were they up to plot in order to deceive her? Were the feelings Takumi confessed to her sincere? And why, _why_ Masumi hid his identity?

It was in those kinds of moments that Masumi was glad to be taller than most of his follow countrymen. Nothing was so convenient to look for someone in a crowd as having a being a head taller than the people next to you. Only, no matter how hard he looked for it, he couldn't find the object of his thoughts. His worry became even worse when a young greenhorn – who he judged to be a little too handsome - announced to his drunkard genius of director that their muse just went away. Imagining Maya Kitajima, all alone, five feet tall for ninety-two pounds at such a late hour in the street – or worse! : In the subway – of Tokyo infuriated him, and he superbly ignored his beautiful fiancée-to-be, who apparently wanted to introduce him to some kind of diplomat, whose name he didn't even try to keep in mind, and strode out of the Shibuya's Theatre.

Her phone rang, but she didn't wish to speak to anyone for now. She kept walking slowly, wiping her tears as they flowed along her cheeks. Her cell mobile vibrated a full minute during before stopping and a text informed her that she had been send a vocal message. She listened to it. After a few seconds of parasites, a voice wounded her heart.

_"Maya it's me...Takumi...Listen, I'm at my office and I'm currently watching the local news. They are talking about you right now! Here, listen to that."_

An icy voice covered her friend's

_"...is currently the subject of all the drama's lovers' conversations. Indeed, just a few minute ago, the guests of the reception celebrating the premiere of the most awaited play, Isadora, got the chance to witness an impressing acting display, staging the Vice-president of the famous Daito Corporation, Hayami Masumi, and the young actress Kitajima Maya. This last one showed her new character, the wolf-girl Jane, to a captivated audience, as you can see on this photograph..." _

The program presenter faded away and Takumi spoke again.

_"And this is only the beginning. The photos are currently being posted on all the local and even national news websites, and we can forget Twitter that's spreading the links at light speed. You better not stay by yourself; I feel that the journalists are going to get interested in you. Anyway, call me back."_

Maya noticed the inch of worry that nuanced his voice and wondered whether she could trust it or not. Four month during he deceived her, how could she know if he was telling the truth now? Her heard was heavy in her chest. She didn't like that. Being forced to doubt, to be wary, not knowing who to believe and who to be careful with. Until now, everything had been so easy. She ever had but one rule in that matter: Trust everyone, except Hayami Masumi. And Onodera, but well, he never came to talk randomly to her, so she never had to worry. Now, she found herself wanting to believe in Masumi Hayami, and doubting Takumi Kirino, whom she felt so close to those last few months! Her life seemed to loose its balance. How bad she would have wanted to talk to her dear Tsukikage-Sensei right now!

But she wasn't here, and the only person who ever even slightly comforted her beside her professor was Mr Purple Rose. Well, it came up that he actually was Masumi Hayami, that man whom she sustained a so complicated relationship with, varying from hatred to friendship while going through those moments of strange complicity that moved her so much inside. Recalling this so successful improvisation, and remembering his so intense gaze when she got up on her feet, a burning electrical discharge made her shiver. An enjoyable feeling...only wasted by the bitterness she couldn't get rid of. Why did he lie to her, all those years? Even though he knew, he always knew how badly she wanted to meet him! What did he felt then when, overwhelmed by thankfulness she threw herself into his arms, four years ago? Even though, in over six year, nothing. Nothing but flowers and card, and after that a lie even bigger. Why?

"Maya?" Behind her, a suave voice called her name. A voice her heard recognized before her mind.

Surprised, she turned round almost immediately and saw Hayami Masumi, standing before her, and trying to cover his gasping breathe with a pleasant smile. His eyes, however, reflected the sincere worry that made him run to her.

Maya looked away. She hoped that the darkness would hide her face striated with tears, but it was never night in Tokyo, especially in Shibuya and the light coming from the shops' windows and the outsize advertising posters on the buildings offered to Masumi the distressing sight of her troubled face. Blushing with shame, Maya hadn't the strength to help herself from crying, and even if she spared no effort to fight her sobs, the spasms in her voice gave her away when she managed to articulate:

"Hayami-san...what are you doing here?"

Speaking his name was painful to her, more than any other word, she noticed it too late. She couldn't even look at him in the eyes. Her anonymous admirer, her first fan, the confident of her dream! She was feeling so stupid and weak for having dreamed so much now.

"Maya...are you okay? What's going on?

As he was getting no answer, he tried to guess. He smiled, and said with an inch of humour.

"Chibi-chan, is it your part that put you in a state like that? Too much emotion for you?

"Yes, that's it," she answered without looking at him. "The emotion."

Masumi was caught on the hop. He had hoped to provoke her to give her energy back, as always, but it hadn't worked this time. He tried again.

"This in not the kind of behaviour that would help you getting the Award, you know. And we can forget the part of the Crimson Goddess!"

He used his same cold laugh, which was received by a new tear on her cheek. The young woman was obviously trying not to cry in front of him, but apparently she couldn't contain everything in her. It was graver than he thought. Trying not to panic, he stammered:

"About later...you did a great job. And if I hurt you, I apologize..."

"No. No I'm fine"

She wanted him gone. Gone before she could burst into tears, or screams. His presence by her side was unbearable: shame was filling her self with tears and electricity was making her blood boil. He knew everything about her, from the beginning. All this time, like her friend Rei told her, he took care of her, gave her everything. Scholarship tuition, Tsukikage-sensei's hospital, the part of Helen Keller, and all those roses! Yet, four months ago, she decided to get rid of her, why? She would really like to know why he lied to her, but she was afraid of the answer she might get. Perhaps because she already knew it? That a man like him, so powerful, so wealthy, so influent, would never feel anything but pity for the poor orphan actress that she was. That was why he never told her who he was: there was simply no point.

"You should go back inside, and talk to the journalists."

"No!"

She didn't mean to shout. The memory of their performance had been too violent. She could clearly see, remember this moment when Shiori arrived and drag him away from her. His fiancée-to-be. She was beautiful, with slender features; any man would immediately fall in love with her. Her voice was smooth and the whiteness or her skin delicate. He certainly loved her. Wasn't it four months since they started dating?

She finally raised her eyes to him, and met an unreadable gaze. He had come closer to her, and she had to raise her chin to meet his gaze. Shiori wouldn't have to, she thought. Her pain of being betrayed switched to a complete other kind of sorrow. He introduced her to Kirino Takumi when he started dating Shiori. That's why you abandoned me, Mr Purple Rose? She thought. To marry her?

That changed everything. If he left her to be faithful to the woman he fell in love with, how could she ever blame him? It was rather what one could expect of a honest an respectful man. That was what reason was telling her.

But she was angry with him! She was blaming him! Why, why hadn't he ever told her anything? She was, neither pretty nor intelligent, she was aware of it, but she reckoned she had the right to know! To know who protected her during her entire adolescence, and helped her to become who she was now! To know who haunted her dreams and hopes!

Masumi was breathless. Something had awakened, inside Maya, and he hadn't provoked it, at least not intentionally. And it was not a good sign, because that thing she was seeing now was nothing like a childish anger or the internal struggle of a frustrated teenager. Her eyes were full of a deep sadness and anger, a sort of revulsion she had never addressed him before. The look itself was more wounding than all the insults she ever uttered to him. It cruelly pierced his self, reaching his very soul. Without reason, he was already feeling guilty. She was about to say something when the vibrations of her cell phone cut her surge. With an irritated move, she took the mobile in her hands and looked at the tactile screen with an unreadable look, without picking up.

"You are not taking it?" He managed to ask.

The strange look she gave him surprised him even more.

"Who is that?"

But Maya didn't answer. She was still taken aback and bit her lower lip. Out of impatience, he grabbed the phone and glanced at the name that was displayed on the screen. Takumi Kirino. He swallowed painfully. The vibrations in this hands didn't stop, Hijiri desperately wanted to speak to her. Sighing, he gave her the phone back and said.

"You should answer that."

Maya close her eyes a moment; her teeth still imprisoning her lower lip, an unconscious move that had the tendency to awaken some urges that made him step back. Finally, she pressed the key and raised the phone to her ear without opening her eyes.

"Kirino-san? Yes, I've got your message. I am between the Shibuya's Theatre and the subway station facing the 109 Tour. Thank you."

She had said all this with a remarkable calmness, and Masumi suspected her of having used her talent for acting in order to stabilize her. It so it was, this would mean she would have made a big step forward to play with the big boys, he thought. She faced him again, trying to keep her look unemotional, but Masumi could discern her fought sadness which he still couldn't tell the source. Her refusal to unburden your heart to him was alarming. He was feeling like she was escaping him, that was loosing her. And he had thought they were closer, because of their performance!

"Kirino-san said he was coming to pick me up."

This sentence was putting and end to their short conversation. Masumi was now feeling more frustrated than ever. He just saw her crying, in front of him, without knowing the reason, when ten minute sooner they were living an absolute symbiosis. And now here she was, closing herself like an oyster. He wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her until she spills her secret out, but he feared the sight of her crying. He cowardly ran away before Hijiri would come back and take her away from him.

Alone in the underground parking lot, Masumi lightened a cigarette, which would soon be siding the five other crashed on the ground. Maya's face was floating before his eyes like a dram, and he wanted to consume his cigarettes until the nicotine would calm his veins and the smoke would cloud over this distressing sight. Why was she crying? Did Hijiri know? Was it something he did, something he said? He sighed. He was tired of carrying this load. He carried it for so many years. Why had he to make her cry each and every time things between them were starting to get better? Only this time, it was worse, he didn't ever know if it was his fault! But what else could it be? Who else could make her mood go so radically wrong in just a minute?

"Where were you?" A weak voice behind him asked.

He sighed. That was the last person he wanted to speak with right now.

"Busy."

Well, that at least was not too vague. He smirked. However the delicate creature didn't let herself getting impressed and walker closer to him.

"You know, you shouldn't smoke..."

"Are you really going to tell me what to do?" He screamed.

This time, Shiori froze, shocked by the hard and angry tone. Tears came up to her fake eyelashes and Masumi almost immediately regretted his words: he already got his share of female tears for at least a week.

"Masumi-sama... "She whispered affectedly

He sighed. He was unfair to her; she had nothing to do with this.

"I'm sorry."

Having got what she wanted, she gathered herself and took advantage of this moment of weakness to tackle the subject of her concern.

"This child is always in your mind." She said almost accusatively.

Far from denial, he pulled on his cigarette once, and said: "Indeed she is. She is...very talented."

It was the only confession he could authorize himself to make. He sighed again, his too loud and heavy sigh coming to Shiori's ears. But he didn't pay attention to her, a faraway look in his eyes, gazing at the wet marks of rust on a pillar. Was she with him now?

Hijiri was feeling that something was wrong. Since the very moment she got into he knew: she was hiding something from him. Of course, after a merely four month and one letter, he couldn't possibly claim he knew all about her personality and attitudes, but some sign couldn't lie neither. She wasn't looking at him, she was speaking until she was spoken to, and she had this little way of knotting her fingers. That much clichés at once couldn't possibly be a good sign. And she even refused to go to his place – his condo was on the beautiful Shibuya's Koen Dori Street, meaning just five minutes away. So, during the fifteen minutes they were on the road, he racked his brain to find an explanation. The only believable conclusion he came up with was that Masumi Hayami found a way to upset her again. He thought of the pictures he saw of the Jane's performance. The pictures were impressive indeed, but they were also showing a fight opposing Maya to Masumi, and giving the build of the two different protagonists, it was easy to imagine which one ended up with most bruises.

"He's been brutal with you." He said. "I'm sincerely sorry he put you through this. Don't take it personally; he was just being boorish, as always."

That's when Maya's reaction caught him on the hop. She screamed "Boorish? He helped me!"

Intrigued by her reaction and her response as well, Hijiri allowed himself to tear his look away from the road one second to show her his interrogating eyes. "He did?" was all he got to make her speak again.

It wasn't that surprising that Masumi would want to promote her in such an occasion. But that Maya would recognize that, that was less common. And he didn't like that, in a way.

"It was all planed! And this, in order to make good publicity on me!"

"You mean...you knew that was going to happen?"

"I wanted it to happen! And anyway, it was...fun."

He saw the young woman's eyes go darker without understanding why. He focused on the road. Anger slowly started to fill him up until he was completely overwhelmed. Hearing her qualifying what happened with Masumi 'fun' was irritating him and he clenched more firmly the wheel.

"I thought you weren't feeling well because of what he did to you!"

"What do you imply by that?"

Didn't really had a clue? How could she find this scene entertaining? In what kind of world was she living?

"He hit you, he could have hurt you!" He cried. "Being lynched in front of a greedy audience: that is your idea of having fun?"

"If he did hurt me, he didn't mean to!"

"Really? How can you be so sure of that?' He screamed, aggravated to hear her defending him.

"He wouldn't do such things intentionally! He is not..."

"Come on Maya, wake up!" He yelled. "He killed your mother!"

He immediately regretted those words. The conversation had tuned into a fight, though it wasn't meant to be one. His anger vanished suddenly. He replayed the whole argument and got shocked by his own violence. No answers echoed his fury, and he couldn't help but glancing at her. His heart failed to stop.

Maya was frozen on her seat, her wide opened eyes flowing a stream of tears on her pale cheeks. This wasn't the fight; it was something else, something deeper. She wasn't sobbing, she wasn't moving, she wasn't even blinking, but her eyes staring at the road weren't going to stop crying. Worried, Hijiri pulled over and stop the car.

"Maya?"

No reaction. The young lady was still frozen, her lashes motionless. Hijiri was feeling even guiltier. He didn't like this sight. He had to do something.

"Maya...I am so sorry. I didn't mean it."

Without saying a word, Maya started breathing in short gasps, as if she was afraid of something. Tears were still running along her cheeks, and wetting her pretty dress. Panicking, Hijiri put his hand on her shoulder and felt she was incredibly stiff. Seeing how she wasn't reacting, he shook her a little.

"Maya? Maya, say something!"

Her breath came in shorter and louder gasps. Her hand reached her chest, as if something was hampering there, and she panicked. Hijiri finally got what was going on, and unfastening their car belt he said.

"Listen to me; that is what we are going to do: you are going to put your head between you knees. Come on, Maya, go ahead. I'll help you."

Slowly, he pushed her neck while she was doing it. As she was still suffocating, he caressed her back, whispering: "That's it Maya, you are doing great. Now breathe. Breathe."

It took several minutes for Maya to calm down. Saddened, Hijiri poured out apologizes and restarted the car after a moment. They spoke no more during the rest of the route. Maya was curled up on her seat, her head leaning on the window. She wasn't crying any more.

The journalists left the reception room at last to go write their articles, and Yuu Sakurakoji was now alone. He scanned the room, looking for Maya, vainly hoping she would came back, but she was still gone. He sighed. He noticed that he wasn't the only alone person in the room, and it wasn't like Ayumi to be a wallflower. Yet, she was smiling peacefully. He came closer to her, intrigued, and started the conversation.

"What did you think of the show?"

She glanced smartly at him and smiled, saying: "Which one?"

"Both." He answered, smiling back at her.

"Well, I'd say Isadora was admirable, if we only consider the technique, but the acting was a bit shallow to be. But about Maya's performance..." Her eyes had a faraway gaze as she remembered the incident. She grinned. "Well, it was surprising, as always. She completely fulfil me expectations."

Yuu laughed and shared a look of complicity with the young lady. After a moment, he tackled the subject of his concern.

"There is, however, someone who did something unexpected: the Vice-President Hayami."

Ayumi gave him a surprised look. "Unexpected?"

Yuu, who thought he wasn't being understood, explained himself "Indeed. Who would imagine that someone like him would ever help an actress the way he did."

"She is not just any actress!"

"Of course, I know that: she is wonderful. But I meant: who ever saw him do anything...for anyone's sake? Even for you, he would never have done that!"

Ayumi laughed cheerfully and looked deep into his eyes.

"I think you misunderstood me...what I meant was that Maya wasn't just any actress _to him."_

In the underground parking lot, Masumi Hayami was still smoking, without paying any attention to Shiori. If he had done so, he would certainly have noticed the clenched fists of her bride, as well as the expression of deep hatred that disfiguring her pretty face.

_Kitajima Maya..._


	16. Chapter 16

**Storm**

Maya really thought that once home, she would have all the time she needed to think through this situation. But she was barely inside that the caring and worrying look of her friend was trapping her. She started by asking about the details of her performance after the premiere of Isadora. When Maya told her about her complicity with Masumi Hayami, her friend's lips parted lightly, as if she wanted to say something, but she didn't do so. Maya knew exactly what this was all about: the very fact that Masumi Hayami, vice-president of the biggest Japanese entertainment company, would actually endanger his own image only to publicize her; was indeed very surprising. But Maya knew the reason of this strange kindness. Kind of, like a farewell gift.

Rei talked during the rest of the evening about this boy she met at the coffee shop she waitressed at. The funny part was that, like most the _Petit Prince_'s customers, Kei, twenty-four years old, firstly thought the waitress was truly a waiter. Moreover, Rei's behaviour didn't help, for using impersonal or masculine ways of talking at work in order to get generous and hopeful tips from the female customers. Anyway, the two of them talked and after a moment, they became friends. It was only this evening, after two entire weeks of friendly chat, that Kei finally opened his eyes. And this discovery, so it seemed, only get them closer. Maya laughed to the sight of her friend blushing while telling her all about the moment when the handsome young man took her hand. Half-joking, Maya made her bet she would take him to the Forgotten Wilderness, so she could get to meet him.

When at last, Rei said and yawn that it was getting late and that she should go to sleep if she wanted not to be late next day morning, Maya's seeming cheerfulness vanished and she put her forehead on her crossed arms.

"_Come on Maya, wake up: He killed your mother!"_

A tear fell on the table wood. Knowing that Mr Purple Rose was responsible of her mother's death turned her stomach. She was rejecting this thought with her soul. But it was a fact. Acknowledging Masumi Hayami as Mr Purple Rose, her beloved fan, was putting her benefactor as the culprit of the accident. He locked her up. If he hadn't done it, she might still be alive by now. She knew that for some times already, yet now this fact took a complete other kind of significance. A brand new horror.

Yet, as strange as it might seem, she couldn't bring herself to hate him. How many times did she try already? How many times did she swear she would despise him for ever? And how long did it take before he would eventually fill her heart with warmth, energy and curiosity again?

"Hayami-san..."she whispered.

Even now, even knowing he lied to her about so many things, just speaking his name out loud was making her longing to see him again, to hear his voice. She smiled at her own simplicity.

"Masumi..."

She blushed in spite of herself. Silly, to call his first name so casually, even alone, was making her feel she was giving her an impression of privacy with him. She sighed. Her heart was forgiving him everything, all the crimes, all the lies, all the deceptions. Of all the wounding things he told her once, none mattered now. If she could see him again, talk to him, like before, she would certainly be happy. She bitterly desired to go back. Please, that someone take her back! Take her back to this rowing boat on the lake with him, or at the planetarium, or at this table of restaurant in front of him! Take her back to this blessed moment when he held her hand! She had been so often in his company, so often alone with him, she hadn't even realized how precious those privileged moments were; and that she should have used them to get to know him better. She should have treasured those moments with him! Now she wanted to see him again, she wanted it so badly! But now nothing would ever be the same.

"_You should answer that"_

He showed himself very clear in his way of saying that. He knew the man on the phone was Kirino Takumi, and yet he looked into her eyes and asked her to pick it up. This moment made everything crystal clear. He staged this farce to get rid of her. He didn't want to be Mr Purple Rose anymore. He had enough of this. All those years he took care of her, but now he had enough. He wanted to move on. He had fallen in love with this beautiful woman he was about to marry, and couldn't afford to send roses to a petty actress like her anymore. This marriage was going to make him happy.

That was why he chose to entrust her to Takumi. This man swearing to love her, and that she liked. Kirino-san was a good person; she was feeling safe with him. He was a friend to her, and for a while, she was happy that Mr Purple Rose was someone like him.

This marriage between Shiori and Masumi was also an alliance between two great groups. This was a huge benefit for Daito, and that might also be why Masumi left her. A horrifying doubt took her. Maybe all those years meant nothing to him. She was just an actress, a product he could use and throw away anytime. And this time just came. This thought tightened her heart even more.

He didn't love her. She had every reason in the world to hate him. Yet, she knew she would never feel hatred toward this man ever again. This enmity had long hidden her true feelings, and now they were revealed there was no going back: She loved him.

And because she loved him, because she always did, she would agree to act along this role play. He made her happy all those years, and it would be selfish not to do the same now. She would let Hayami-san marry the woman he loved. And she would let Kirino-san pretend to admire her since the very first day. Yes, things were better this way. This was what her sense was telling her to do, but her moaning heart was begging her not to give up.

The worst part was that she liked Kirino-san a lot! Hayami-san entrusted her to him, certainly because he was trustworthy. This was a charming, sweet, friendly man! She was feeling safe with him, like with a good friend. Things might be tensed since he confessed his love to her, but she could vividly remember the moments of joy and complicity they exchanged the evenings in his apartment. If his feeling toward her were sincere, and if it was what Masumi wanted, she would make two beloved persons happy by doing it. Why wouldn't she then?

While Maya was resigned herself to ever confess her love, Shiori Takamiya, for other reasons, couldn't manage to find sleep as well. Back home, after having slammed the front door, demanded a cup of tea to her household, yelled it was too hot, then too cold, fired one of her housemaids, throw with all her strength a vase on the floor, which shattered with a loud noise of broken china, and yelled some more; she isolated herself in her bedroom. Yet, while she was pacing around her magnificent canopied bed, she wasn't feeling the slightest better. No, she would only find peace when she would have make sure Maya Kitajima would never make a step closer to her husband-to-be. After long and painful thoughts, she decided the best way was to prevent her from winning the Award that was supposed to fling her up at the top of the competition and give her access to the part of the Crimson Goddess. She was convinced that, Maya away from the object of Masumi's obsession, she would certainly loose a lot of interest in his eyes.

She needed a plan. Something that would help her getting Maya off the course. Shiori got an idea.

The next day, during the afternoon, Shiori went to the gym where the students of Ondine were usually practicing. There she found Ayumi Himekawa, in the dance room, doing barre training. Her body was covered with sweat, and Shiori asked herself how long the beautiful young lady was there. She rapidly noticed her presence, in this room full of mirrors. The young woman first seemed stunned to see her, and then bowed respectfully, although a bit too lightly for a formal greeting.

"Takamiya-san" She said while grabbing a towel to dry her neck. "Why do we have the honour to have you here?"

Shiori slowly and silently walked toward the young lady to make her feel the weight of her superiority, but Ayumi seemed not the slightest impressed and was still wearing the same smile of polite interest when Shiori finally said:

"I just came to see how nervous you were"

"Nervous?" Ayumi repeated while frowning with perplexity.

"Indeed: nervous." Shiori went on, calm. "I've heard that the play that would start tomorrow evening would be quite decisive for you career."

"Are you referring to the Forgotten Wilderness?"

"Indeed I am." Shiori smiled knowingly "If the play is a success, and that Kitajima-san get an Award for her performance, you would have to fight for months. That's why I came to see how nervous you were. "

And, ending her last sentence, she intensely and intelligently gazed at Ayumi who felt her hair on her neck stand. She swallowed.

"You think I hope she'll fail?"

"It's," Shiori answered "what every person in your situation would hope. Her failure would get you the great part of the Crimson Goddess on a silver plate."

Ayumi didn't answer to that. Indeed, she knew all that. But she also knew that she would be incapable to act the Crimson Goddess correctly of the competition of Maya doesn't push her far enough. She wanted Maya to win this Festival. Many were the outsiders who thought like Takamiya-san. Yet, there was something in the tone of her voice; that she didn't like. Shiori went on.

"However," she smiled at her "I like to think women as important as us don't base their success on vain hopes."

"What do you mean?" Ayumi asked, with the feeling that she already knew the answer.

"In the current state of the situation, if Maya get to act as she planed to, she will be rewarded at the Festival. It's a fact that no naïve hope will change. But, like I said, women like us don't _hope_ for victory: they simply _get_ victory."

Ayumi couldn't believe her ears. Shiori Takamiya finally revealed her true face. This viper meant she would be capable of anything to get Maya down. Why? The answer was crystal clear: she was at the Premiere of Isadora too; she saw the complicity between Maya and Hayami-san. Ayumi chinned up.

"Absolutely. I will definitely win."

Believing she got her on her side, Shiori widened her cold grin. But Ayumi hurried to add:

"When Maya will officially be a candidate for the part of the Crimson Goddess, I'll win, thanks to my acting talent."

The venomous smile of Shiori froze. She realized her mistake. Ayumi was more loyal that she thought she would be. She took a deep breathe and tried to covered it.

"Absolutely." She said. "Of course, that's what I meant."

"Of course." Ayumi said with a mocking smile.

"You understood me well."

"Then it's perfect!" Ayumi laughed.

"Yes, isn't it?" Shiori laughed back nervously.

"Well, if you have nothing else to say." Ayumi said cheerfully "I'm going to get back on my training."

"Sure! Be my guest!"

"It was surely delightful, Miss."

"Indeed. Goodbye."

And Shiori hurried to leave with the little of dignity she had left. Once the door was closed, Ayumi sat on the floor, distraught. It was bad. She would never get over it if her one and only rival was evinced because of a stupid jealousy issue. She would not allow it. She had to do something! Outside, the night was already on the street, and Ayumi thought sighing that if she didn't react now, twenty four hours from now, Maya might not be in the right disposition to act out the miracle everybody was expecting.

Big day. Everybody had to be inside the walls of the theatre by seven in the morning to rehearse all day. They had worked without a break all morning, and now Maya was throwing herself on her sandwich. Sakurakoji was looking at her tenderly.

He had spent the entire day before trying to understand what Ayumi told him during the reception for the Premiere of Isadora. She told him that Maya was more that just an actress to the Vice-President Hayami. At first he thought he was betting everything on her future performance of the Crimson Goddess, but that would have been forgetting Ayumi. Finally, a frightening doubt took his mind: that the Vice-President, this man told cold and stranger to all forms of empathy, could have weaved emotional bonds with Maya, to actually fall in love with her. Ever how absurd this idea seemed to him, Ayumi seemed to believe it to be true. He knew Masumi Hayami was a desired and coveted man, and that he had an irrefutable charisma that got him to set his authority in the entertainment world despite his very young age. He also knew that Hayami-san was dating the beautiful Shiori Takamiya, but that their engagement, even announced, didn't happen yet. If it was true that he had feelings for Maya, and if he succeeded in charming her with his natural presence, it would not be difficult to him to end his relationship with the heiress and to date Maya officially and that, that was what Yuu feared most.

So, he decided to gather his courage and tell Maya:

"It's amazing how many phone calls from journalists we've got since your performance. Thanks to you, it's going to be a full house every night!"

"Thanks to Hayami-san, actually." She said. "He decided to make that show for me."

"I see..."

Here were his doubts confirmed. Maya was already feeling grateful to the Vice-President. He was going to eat her alive very soon. He should warn her. But when he was about to say something, her phone rang. Now expert in the handling of a touch screen, Maya had no problem answering it. She started speaking with a cheerful a loud voice when she recognized her friend Rei that promised to call to check on her. When she finally ended the discussion, it was time to get back to work, and Maya just told him "Rei told me they say a storm is coming tonight."

Bad news over bad news.

On the stroke of one, Masumi's lunch time was over and he headed to his office like he used to. However, before he could open the door, Mizuki, who had been briefing him about this afternoon schedule, warned him that someone was waiting for him in there. To his stunned eyes she only responded by a sceptical pout telling the guest didn't wish to pronounce herself about the reason of her visit. So, it was with circumspection that Masumi came into his own office.

Ayumi Himekawa stood to his arrival and bow as she should before sitting on the sofa when invited by Masumi that sat in front of her.

"It's always a pleasure to receive you, Miss. What can I do for you?"

Ayumi smiled. She hadn't got so many occasion to talk with the young producer in private, but he had often be invited to her home by her parents, so that he knew her since childhood. Yet, he always showed a cold politeness to her, calling her "Miss" even when she was a little girl. It was hard to her imagining him being friendly to anyone. The only exception was whenever he was in a certain young actress company; then he could loose his cold and condescension manners to a warmer behaviour, anger or laughter. Being a fine observer, this detail didn't escape Ayumi, who quickly did the right parallels.

Her speech was ready.

"Hayami Sama" she said slowly "I'm afraid the subject that brings me here is one of the most delicate. It deals with your privacy, which I couldn't interfere in if it wasn't for a professional matter, concerning the career of someone I respect very much, and my own."

She had now his all his attention, and when Hayami-san, who wasn't hiding his surprise, encouraged her to go on, she tried to stay calm and still.

"Are you sure you know Takamiya-san?"

"Excuse me?" He exclaimed, widening his eyes.

"I wanted to know if you were sure you knew the person you are keeping company to."

"And how, exactly, could it matter for your career?"

The producer's voice was now icy and abrupt, as anyone's that asked a report of his privacy. Ayumi took a deep breathe, to be sure she was calm, before going on.

"It matters if Takamiya-san a doubts about your...implication in Maya's life."

There was a silent moment. Ayumi took advantage of it and asked.

"Does she know you are the one sending her roses regularly? Or does she just know your attachment to her is beyond professional interest?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Hayami-san said and he crossed his arm on his chest. "I had been Kitajima-san employer for some times, but it doesn't go any further."

"No offense, sir, but I think that what happened during the reception for the premiere of Isadora doesn't show us that. It actually shows that you care for her success enough to use your own image to publicize her. You wanted to help her."

Ayumi breathed again. He had to stay calm if she wanted her speech to have power. But she was feeling the Vice-President gaze on her and dared look in his eyes. That's when he said:

"Is that jealousy, Himekawa-san? Are you jealous I wanted to help _her_?"

"Sir, I'm begging you: do not insult me." She answered firmly.

He raised his eyebrows to this direct answer to his guess. He was about to say something but Ayumi spoke first.

"Having said that, you do well going on that subject, because it's actually what brings me here."

Masumi leaned forward, feeling they were now going somewhere. He saw the young lady straighten herself, swallow and look into his eyes.

"I'm acting since I'm a child, and the past ten years my celebrity kept growing. Many were the young actress that wished they would be my rivals, and all were jealous of me. Then I was protected by my connections and my family, but I still got to see what a jealous girl is capable of. I also know that when this jealousy is motivated by love, some people can be really cruel. So, I'm asking you again: Takamiya-san does she know you are in love with Maya?"

"Now I see where this is going to."

An entire minute ran off without another word. Ayumi felt she has to stay quiet and wait for him to talk. And he finally did.

"What brings you to believe Takamiya-san could ever want to hurt Maya? Aside from the fact that you are imagining I have views of her?"

"Being given that you just called her by her fist name, I seriously doubt I'm imagining anything, sir."

He bit his lips. He gave himself. Just for a moment, he was distracted by the memory of his conversation in the parking lot with his fiancée, and neglected his words. Ayumi gazed at him knowingly and went on.

"Your fiancée came to see me yesterday evening, during my dance training at the gym. She was vague, but I have the clear feeling she wanted me to make Maya fail during the premiere of her show, tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"She might have kept her speech vague, but I'm no stupid girl."

Hayami-san sighed.

"Look, I admire the loyalty you have to your rival – I really do," he added gazing intensely at her with warm and honest eyes and Ayumi realized the enchanting charisma this man under an icy coat could have. "But I think this is a misunderstanding. I don't think a woman as delicate as Shiori Takamiya could be capable of this sort of things."

"Many are the rich girls that are being taught since childhood how to behave like the ideal spouse: obliging, docile, seemingly fragile. Delicate, like you said, sir. But in this education of traditional Japanese women, those girls are also being taught how to _hide_ their true feelings." She added tensing her gaze.

Between them the silent was deep and tensed, and Ayumi feared to have offended her employer not purposely. She smiled with honesty and said:

"This being said, I'm sure you already know all that."

They gazed at each other for a moment, then, as Ayumi was about to look down by respect, Mizuki came inside to warn Hayami-san his one thirty rendezvous was there. Relieved, Ayumi stood up and bowed deeply.

"Thank you for letting me come in your office."

"That's nothing! Beside, I didn't."

Ayumi glanced at Hayami-san just one second and bowed again even deeper to apologize; and left.

Maya couldn't stop staring at the theatre's first floor window. It was five o'clock and the storm started fifteen minutes ago. Since then, the rain couldn't stop pouring like a waterfall. The show started four hours from now and the media were already advising the locals to stay home tonight. A premiere without audience: that surely wasn't a good sign. She was about to go join the other when something caught her eye. The lights of a car lightened the flooded street. She immediately recognized that car and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Takumi going out of there, his coat above his head to keep himself dry.

She ran down the stairs and announced his arrival to the others, and everyone hurried to the entrance hall. The translator was welcomed by a wave of rain and applause. An actress got over-zealous and took and hung his drenched coat. Kirino-san was wearing a cocktail suit, which made him look particularly classy. Maya's stomach tightened. This outfit wasn't without reminding her someone. The only difference was that Takumi mixed elegance with warmth. Kuronuma was over the moon and he said humorously.

"Welcome Kirino-san! At least now, we know we have an audience!"

The team laughed joyfully, even Maya who for a second had forgotten her worries. However, when she met the eyes she was searching, Maya blushed and her seriousness was back.

They isolated themselves in her dressing room. Her heart was beating so hard and loud she was convinced he could hear them. She feared she had offended him the last couple of days. Since they fought in his car, they never saw or talked to each other. Maya never answered his calls, too troubled by the events. Now she feared he would not talk to her. She turn round and stared at him. He looked strange, even a bit afraid.

"I'm so sorry." She stammered, and Takumi widen his eye with surprise. "I didn't answer your calls, it was rude. It's just—you see, I—I was busy with my rehearsals and, to be honest—I—"

"Maya," he interrupted her. "You don't have to be sorry. I should be the one apologizing."

"No, not at all! Kirino-san, you didn't do..."

"Please, Maya, let me finish."

He sat with her on a couch and his eyes full of intense emotion looked into hers. Maya swallowed.

"The other night...my behaviour was everything but correct. You were upset, and I didn't listened. Instead, I got angry, that was so immature! Please, forgive me."

Hypnotized, Maya just nodded slowly. Takumi sighed with relief and the smile he gave her relaxed the atmosphere like magic.

"I know that in the theatre world wishing good luck is actually bad luck, but..."

From his jacket's inside pocket, he pulled a magnificent white rose, and gave it to her. Maya took it very carefully and breathe its scent with pleasure.

"A white rose?" She said without hiding her surprise.

She knew well that the man in front of her wasn't her admirer, but giving her a rose of a different colour before the premiere of her show had to mean something. Takumi looked down, shameful, and the glances he gave her feverishly now and then clearly showed his helplessness and doubt.

"What happened the other night, disconcerted me, you know. I've been thinking...about the last couple of months, about the things I told you, and the moment we spent together and I realized that...I have no idea of how you feel about me!"

He was almost on the verge of tears now, and Maya could see how hard this confession was to him. He sighed to calm down and went on with a little bit evener voice.

"Maya, can I ask you something?"

Speechless, Maya just nodded again.

"If...if we had met a different way, if I had never seen Little Women, if...if I had never sent you roses" he said, breathless. "Do you think you would like me still?"

His angst was palpable. Maya stared wide-eyed, her heart burning with empathy. Was he about to tell her the truth? Why would he do that? Anyway, his honesty was obvious; he would never be capable of pretending such an emotion; and this moved her way more that she imagined.

"What I really want to know is," Takumi went on while flooding her eyes with his unbearable distress. "It's whether you like me because you feel obligated to me, or...if there is really something, between us."

Then, Maya knew she had her answer. Since she knew the true identity of Mr Purple Rose, she hadn't stop asking herself if the feelings Takumi confessed to her were real, or if it was nothing but a part of the role Hayami-san asked him to act. Now that she knew, there could be no doubt. He loved her, it wasn't all an act. It was a true love that was making him suffer for weeks, or months. And this thought was touching her deeply. Overwhelmed by tenderness, she took his hand.

"Kirino-san...I like you very much! I like you, because you are...kind and funny and...because you play violin!" She added laughing. "Not because you are Mr Purple Rose. Well, I mean," she stammered, trying not to uncover her knowledge, "It matter, of course, but it's not..."

But she didn't get to end her sentence. Two sweet, warm lips had shut hers and she didn't dare breathing.

Everything seemed to be completely out of her control. Her veins brutally responded to this attack and a fiery, ardent desire was terrifying her. She wished she could escape but her febrile body wasn't obeying her, and Takumi's hand on her back trapped her and squeezed her dangerously tight against his body. Her hand on his was also trapped, and their fingers entwined together. She raised her free hand, with the intention of rejecting him, too scared by all those new sensations that loaded her body with electricity, but she caught herself grabbing his neck to kiss him back. Her fingers rummaged through Takumi's hair and her befuddled mind was forbidding any thought.

"Maya!"

They parted in a fraction of second. Maya opened her eyes, asking herself when she closed them and look up to Sakurakoji who just came in the dressing room.

"Kuronuma Sensei...sent me to tell you that...you need the start focusing on Jane." He stammered, extremely embarrassed.

But Maya was just half-listening. She was feeling dizzy and was not realizing what just happened yet. Kirino-san stood almost immediately, and after a last smile toward her, he left. As soon as he was out, Yuu said, without coming any closer.

"Maya, you have to promise me something."

The young woman raised her heard, intrigued by the grave tone of her partner. He sighed.

"Promise me that this is going to be forgotten once you'll be on stage. "

"I promise. » She lied.

Barely relieved, Yuu stepped back and was about to leave when he remembered something and added "Kuronuma Sensei think you should try to sleep for an hour or two. It's barely five thirty, and the show start at eight o'clock. You'll be up in time, so try to rest, okay?"

Maya nodded.

Once Yuu out, Maya had plenty of time to relive what just happened. By the way, what, exactly, did happen? He kissed her. And she kissed him back. At first, Maya had felt exalted by the brusque change in her relationship with Takumi but then, she felt overwhelmed by a wave of consternation and shame that put her at the verge of tears. She just kissed Takumi. No, it was way worse than that, she desired that kiss. Yet, she wasn't in love with him! If that kiss has happened a month sooner, she might have believed to be in love, but now that she knew what real love felt like, she couldn't lie.

She had the feeling she had done soothing terrible and shameful. As if she had betrayed Masumi. But she also felt an attraction toward Takumi that prevented her from rejecting him. Those opposing feelings were rushing inside her. She thought she accepted to be with Kirino-san! It was what Hayami-san wanted, it was what would make his friend happy, and she even felt pleasure doing it. Yet, now that she was alone, she was feeling unclean and unhappy.

This was beyond betraying Hayami-san. Truly if he happened to hear about that kiss, he would certainly not feel betrayed. No, she just kissed someone though her heart was someone else's, and by doing that, she betrayed herself.

She was feeling exhausted. This intensive rehearsal day and the emotions she felt drained her strength. She lied on the couch and closed her eyes.

The clock was showing six thirty. Hijiri was feeling everyone's tense backstage, and was listening to the actor's feverish whisper with a remarkable peace of mind from his seat, in the middle of the empty stage room. He had still his head in his little cloud since he kissed Maya. The way she reassured him had completely freed him. One day, he kept telling himself, one day he would tell her the truth; when she would be ready. Maybe she would stay with him. His hopeful heart was making him imagine the best scenarios. Was she thinking of him, right now? He was eager to see her again, but he knew he had to wait until the end of the show. The shadow of her kiss was still drifting on his lips, and he seemed that her hand was actually tattooed on his neck. He longed to kiss her again.

Suddenly the door creaked open and Hijiri sighed before turning his head to see who could possibly go and defy a storm to see Maya's play. Of course, here Masumi came. He had hung his coat in the entrance hall, but his hair was drenched with rain. Hijiri couldn't help but laugh.

"Sir, no offence, but you are actually reminding me of Sneezy."

"I don't see how I could possibly be mistaken for a dwarf."

"No" Hijiri laughed "Not the dwarf, my puppy! He had this same look and hair when I found him."

"Hopefully, this poor creature died years ago."

"Don't rub salt on it" he said cheerfully "That's just cruel."

"What are you doing here this soon? It's not even seven o'clock."

Hijiri gave him a wide triumphing grin.

"Keeping an eye on my girlfriend. What are _you_ doing here?"

"Surprisingly," he answered pensively, "quite the same thing..."

Hijiri was about to ask for more details, but Masumi was already going backstage, pretending to have some unfinished conversation with Kuronuma. Masumi strode through the actors that were revising their line a last time and stared at him with shock. In the dressing rooms corridor, he stopped in front of a door marked with the name "Jane".

"Kitajima!"

The young girl opened her eyes immediately, perfectly awake and sat on the couch. Her teacher was before her, smiling. Maya felt something warm and thick sliding from her back to the floor and noticed a blanket had been put on her.

"Did you do that?"

"No, it was already there when I came in." He said before adding laughing "Kitajima: I like you, but taking care that the lady would not catch a cold isn't my first business tonight. We are trying to see if the generating set would be capable of taking over if the storm cut the power."

"I see."

"Come on, I let you and Sakurakoji sleep the more I could, but now you've got to get ready, the show start half and hour from now."

Maya was already on her feet. She was feeling right and on form. Kuronuma left to let her get dressed and Maya put her skin-like coloured leotard that will be her first costume. Then she tied her hair and trapped them in an old-pantyhose-made hat and started to put her make up. Once ready, she fixed her long, tangled up, dirty wig on her head. Then, she closed her eyes

She focused on her breathe, calm, even. Slowly, she relaxed one by one every muscles of her body. Her mind unwound, and opened. She remembered the forest, the hunger, the wandering, the cave, the hunt, the mother wolf, and her wide eyes hypnotizing her. She remembered everything the felt then. Her face in the water came up. Everything, all the details of her days and nights alone in the wild, she brought them all back to the surface, as if they happened the day before.

Then she remembered the training, the scenes. She remembered Jane. She pictured her, running naked with her sisters, playing in the plains, watched by their caring mother. She absorbed her feelings, they became her own. She made her chained heart vanish to let Jane's exist, free. Then, only then, she was ready. When she opened her eyes: Maya was gone.

Jane came backstage. In the audience room, the darkness was waiting for the curtain to rise. The few noises we could only hear backstage were overexcited whispers. Yuu put his hand on her shoulder, but Jane went on stage to place herself on the top of the hill, and when silence was complete and that the curtain began to rise, she started howling.


End file.
